Creative Pep Talk #107: Rethinking “Hard”

What do you tell yourself when things get hard? Here’s a short take on a different perspective to help keep you on track.

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Transcript: Rethinking “Hard”

Please note: This is an unedited transcript, provided as a courtesy, and reflects the actual conversation as closely as possible. Please forgive any typographical or grammatical errors.

Nancy Norbeck [00:00:06]:
Welcome to Follow Your Curiosity. Ordinary people, extraordinary creativity. Here’s how to get unstuck. I’m your host, creativity coach Nancy Norbeck. Let’s go. The phrase we can do hard things is really, really popular right now, especially because Glennon Doyle titled her new book with that phrase. And I want to give you a little bit of perspective on that this week. Hi, it’s Nancy Norbeck with this week’s Creative Pep Talk. And I was thinking the other day, you know, a lot of the things that we do, a lot of the things that we learn are not the easiest things in the world to learn.

Nancy Norbeck [00:00:45]:
Right? This is not news probably. But we don’t think a lot of the time about hard things that we have learned before, Because now we’ve learned them and they’re second nature. They’re easy. So we kind of discount them. And the example that came to mind because I was watching a kid is learning to walk. Right? Almost all of us know how to walk. We don’t think about it. It’s second nature.

Nancy Norbeck [00:01:19]:
There is absolutely no need for our brains to put any energy into learning how to walk, into where we put our next step, unless we’re like on rocky terrain or something. For most of us, we don’t think about walking. If you’ve learned to drive, it’s very similar. Right? A lot of us reach our destination and realize that we must have done it on autopilot because we weren’t really paying a whole lot of attention to where we needed to turn and which lane we needed to be in. But walking, I think is an even better example because if you have ever watched a kid learn how to walk, it ain’t fun. Right? It is a struggle. It is a lot of getting up and falling back down and getting up and falling back down. Hopefully your driving experience did not include anything similar.

Nancy Norbeck [00:02:09]:
And yet once that kid has learned it, that’s it. It’s in their brain done forever. Barring some sort of unforeseen circumstance, never has to learn how to walk again. So I want you to think about how that’s similar to your own life right now. What are you trying to do, trying to learn, trying to develop some proficiency at where you maybe aren’t making the progress that you hoped you would have making it as quickly as you wanted to. And probably along with that, you’re being really hard on yourself. You know, that kid who learns how to walk does not, after the fifth time they’ve fallen, say, screw it. I’m done.

Nancy Norbeck [00:02:53]:
This is clearly not for me. This walking thing is overhyped and I’m not doing it. Right? The drive is there. They pick themselves up and they try again. Mom and dad grab their hands and try again with them. Right? And even if mom and dad weren’t there, I think that there’s a drive in there that is strong enough. The kid probably would figure it out on their own eventually. But as we get older, we don’t do that.

Nancy Norbeck [00:03:21]:
We look at things and we say, man, this is hard. This is hard. I don’t know if I can do this. I don’t know if I’m good enough for this. And after we stumble once or twice, a lot of us decide, that’s it. I’m done. This is not for me. Now I’m not saying that there is not a law of diminishing returns.

Nancy Norbeck [00:03:39]:
There are some things that really aren’t for us. But, you know, think about that kid who’s learning to walk. If you’re having a hard time with something right now, think about how many times that kid falls flat on their face, gets up and starts again. If this is your three hundredth time, and it’s fair to ask if this is really for you. Right? But a lot of things we just don’t stick around long enough to do. And we don’t acknowledge that they’re tough. Right? For us walking is easy. For that kid walking is really, really hard.

Nancy Norbeck [00:04:13]:
It’s okay for things to be hard. It’s okay for us to fall on our faces and pick ourselves up and try again. That’s the only way any of us ever actually get anywhere. So if this is you, I hope that this gives you a different way to look at whatever it is that you are attempting to do right now and to be kinder to yourself because all of life is a learning adventure. So I hope you will consider that idea and I will see you next time. If this episode resonated with you or if you’re feeling a little bit less than confident in your creative process right now, join me at The Spark on Substack as we form a community that supports and celebrates each other’s creative courage. It’s free, and it’s also where I’ll be adding programs for subscribers and listeners. The link is in your podcast app, so sign up today.

Nancy Norbeck [00:05:01]:
See you there, and see you next week. Follow Your Curiosity is produced by me, Nancy Norbeck, with music by Joseph McDade.

Nancy Norbeck [00:06:45]:
If you like Follow Your Curiosity, please subscribe, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. And don’t forget to tell your friends. It really helps me reach new listeners.