You don’t have to earn your own kindness. This episode is a look at why radical self-compassion is the creative lifestyle shift your exhaustion has been asking for.
If you’ve been treating self care like a “treat” for good behavior rather than a necessity for your wellbeing, you aren’t alone and you aren’t broken. In this episode, I explore why radical kindness is a vital act of resistance for exhausted perfectionists struggling with the pressure to perform.
Most mental health and self-help advice tells you to “just crush it” or optimize your way out of burnout. But on this podcast, I provide a sanctuary for messy, joyful creativity that focuses on your aliveness, not your productivity.
My Promise to You:
• 🤦🏻♂️ I’ll never tell you that you need to be “productive” to deserve a break.
• 🤷🏻♂️ I won’t ignore the systemic pressures that make self-compassion feel like a luxury.
• 😁 I will never treat your need for rest as a failure of discipline.
What we’re exploring today:
• The Reward Trap: Why we think we have to “earn” our own kindness.
• Creative Resilience: How practicing kindness as a life force changes your creative process.
• Finding Five Minutes: Small, gentle ways to improve your well-being without the pressure to be perfect.
Sound good? If this resonates, subscribe to join our rebellion against the “shoulds.”
And if you want a safe space to explore this way of being with others, the door to our next free Creativity Circle is open. (Don’t forget to confirm your subscription!)
Want more tips? Check out this playlist with all my previous Creative Pep Talks!
Get in Touch
I’d love to hear your feedback, questions, and experience with these ideas! Send me a note at fycuriosity.com, or contact me on Instagram, or Bluesky.
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Transcript: You don’t have to earn your own kindness
Please note: This is an unedited transcript, provided as a courtesy, and reflects the actual conversation as closely as possible. Please forgive any typographical or grammatical errors.
Nancy Norbeck [00:00:06]:
Nancy Norbeck [00:00:06]:
Welcome to Follow Your Curiosity. Ordinary people, extraordinary creativity. Here’s how to get unstuck. I’m your host creativity coach, Nancy Norbeck. Let’s go.
Nancy Norbeck [00:00:18]:
When was the last time you thought about how nice you are to yourself? I was talking with my friend Hilary today, and she said, I think creative people need to be nicer to ourselves. And, you know, she’s not wrong. Especially right now when the world seems to be on fire all over the place, it is so easy in all of the chaos, all of the maelstrom of everything that’s going on around us to not even take the time to give ourselves a break. And I don’t just mean the kind of sanctuary that I’ve talked about recently. I mean literally giving ourselves a little slack. When was the last time you actually took a breath and said, hey, you know what? That thing that I created today, it’s not actually as bad as I told myself it was. Or it’s actually pretty good. Or I did this thing and I forgot to give myself credit for it, or the thing I made was was better than I expected it to be, or I did three of them when I thought I was only gonna do one, Or I’m gonna take twenty minutes for myself to meditate, go stare at the sky, listen to the birds, play my favorite music, get up and dance, whatever it is that I actually need just because I need it.
Nancy Norbeck [00:01:57]:
Not because I had to earn it, not because, you know, I’m meeting some arbitrary system that says that I can finally have the thing, but because it’s okay to be nice to myself, because everything is crazy and chaotic. And even if it weren’t, it’s okay to be nice to myself. It’s really hard to create when you are in an environment that is constantly telling you that everything is awful, including everything you attempt to do. And the environment for creative people that is most likely to be that way, I hate to tell you and you may already know what I’m about to say, is the one right here between your own ears. Ask me how I know. I mean, I speak from my own experience, and I know I am far from alone. We all need to give ourselves a break. Be nice to ourselves, treat ourselves, make that cup of hot cocoa or hot tea, buy the flowers, go for the walk.
Nancy Norbeck [00:03:12]:
I mean, it’s almost spring in the Northern Hemisphere. Everything is about to come to life. The birds are about to come back. The animals, the trees are about to start budding in a couple of weeks. It’s gonna be amazing if you’re in this part of the world, and it’s okay to go enjoy it. It’s okay to put on that favorite piece of music and just sit down and listen and let it sink in. It’s okay to enjoy something for the sake of enjoying it even if it’s just for two, three, five, ten minutes. It can make all the difference to your day, to your outlook, to your creativity, to how well you sleep, to everything.
Nancy Norbeck [00:03:57]:
So I’m not gonna belabor this point. I’m just gonna say, give yourself a break, be nice to yourself. I think you might find that when you’re nice to yourself, it’s easier to be nicer to others and vice versa. So try it both ways. See, see which way works better for you, but please just try it. You deserve it. People around you deserve it. And, you know, it’s up to us to make our worlds better.
Nancy Norbeck [00:04:25]:
We can do more for ourselves a lot of the time than anybody else can do for us. And when we all do it together, it makes a difference for everybody. So be nice to yourself and let me know what happens. If you’re tired of thinking about answering a creative call, but never actually doing it, come join me for an hour and start feeling like yourself again. The Follow Your Curiosity Creativity Circle is a safe, welcoming, and encouraging environment where we send the shoulds and inner critics off to summer camp where they’re kept busy rather than getting in our way. You can find it at the link in your podcast app. See you there and see you next week. Follow Your Curiosity is produced by me, Nancy Norbeck, with music by Joseph McDade.
Nancy Norbeck [00:05:11]:
If you like Follow Your Curiosity, please subscribe, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. And don’t forget to tell your friends. It really helps me reach new listeners.