Radio, Novels, and Surprising Twists with Nev Fountain

Nev Fountain
Nev Fountain
Nev Fountain

Nev Fountain is an award-winning writer, chiefly known for his work on the BBC sketch show ‘Dead Ringers’ in both TV and radio incarnations. He has alsocontributed to many other programmes, including Have I Got News for You and Newzoids. He is a principal gag writer for satirical magazine ‘Private Eye’ and contributes to every issue.

He first came to write for Doctor Who when he script-edited the BBC online story “Death Comes to Time” in 2001, and has gone on to write some of Big Finish’s most popular audios, including “The Kingmaker” and “Peri and the Piscon Paradox.” His books include The Mervyn Stone Mysteries, The Fan Who Knew too Much, and its sequel, Lies and Dolls, which was released in July.

Nev talks with me about how he got his start writing radio comedy, the challenges of writing comedy even about very serious events, writing for various forms and media, leaving room to be surprised as you’re writing, and more.

Episode breakdown:

00:00 Introduction
04:02 Teachers encouraged Nev; family humor shaped his view.
08:21 Comedy influences: The Young Ones, Blackadder, Hitchhiker’s Guide.
12:27 Breaking into radio comedy.
16:03 Playwriting taught Nev what makes audiences laugh—live.
20:22 Writing comedy about tragic events; satire offers relief and perspective.
24:23 Dead Ringers’ hiatus, revival, and Jon Culshaw’s Tom Baker calls.
28:47 Sketches with Ozzy Osbourne, behind-the-scenes stories from TV comedy.
33:46 Nev’s serendipitous first Doctor Who project, “Death Comes to Time.”
39:23 The process and impact of “Death Comes to Time” explained.
46:31 Challenges and expectations of writing “big” stories in franchises.
52:18 Emphasizing medium-specific storytelling; novels, radio, TV all differ.
58:14 Enjoying creative surprises; writing unfolds beyond outlines or plans.

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Transcript: Nev Fountain

Please note: This is an unedited transcript, provided as a courtesy, and reflects the actual conversation as closely as possible. Please forgive any typographical or grammatical errors.

Nancy Norbeck [00:00:06]:
Nancy Norbeck [00:00:06]:
Welcome to Follow Your Curiosity. Ordinary people, extraordinary creativity. Here’s how to get unstuck. I’m your host, creativity coach, Nancy Norbeck. Let’s go. Nev Fountain is an award winning writer, chiefly known for his work on the BBC sketch show “Dead Ringers” in both TV and radio incarnations. He’s also contributed to many other programs, including “Have I Got News For You” and “Newzoids.” He’s a principal gag writer for satirical magazine “Private Eye” and contributes to every issue. He first came to write for doctor who when he script edited the BBC Online story, “Death Comes to Time,” in 2001, and has gone on to write some of Big Finish’s most popular audios, including “The Kingmaker” and “Peri and the Piscont Paradox.”

Nancy Norbeck [00:00:51]:
His books include “The Mervyn Stone Mysteries,” “The Fan Who Knew Too Much,” and its sequel, “Lies and Dolls,” which was released in July. Nev talks with me about how he got his start writing radio comedy, the challenges of writing comedy even about very serious events, writing for various forms and media, leaving room to be surprised as you’re writing, and more. Here’s my conversation with Nev Fountain. Nev, welcome to Follow Your Curiosity.

Nev Fountain [00:01:22]:
It’s lovely to be here.

Nancy Norbeck [00:01:24]:
So I start everyone with the same question. Were you a creative kid, or did you discover your creative side later on?

Nev Fountain [00:01:33]:
Oh, absolutely. From the moment. From the moment, I I think I went to school. My brother died last year. Sadly, he was my younger brother. But we sat with each other a lot, in the last months, and he remembered vividly the fact that I would write these epic stories in primary school, and the teachers would get me to read out each chapter. I’d write about 10 page, story cribbed from shamelessly stolen from doctor who. And this is I was about seven years old at the time, so I was a bit of an oddity in school already because I had a the reading age of, 11 year old when I was six.

Nev Fountain [00:02:19]:
So I was reading reading a lot and just writing, stories. Yeah. I mean, as as soon as I could think, really, in sentences.

Nancy Norbeck [00:02:31]:
Did anyone did anyone, you know, respond to that like it was unusual either in a good way or a bad way?

Nev Fountain [00:02:45]:
Some of my teachers were very encouraging. That’s the good thing. My first teacher, miss Murphy, in primary school was very encouraging. I mean, teachers are generally very encouraging. My teachers, miss Corby in my, upper school and, missus Johnson in my middle school, all, very encouraging. My father was a lumberjack, and he, often used to take the mickey out of my way of speaking because, you know, he was a blue collar worker. And he remembered he used to recount stories of me speaking in a very kind of intellectual way. I had a huge mop of hair when I was little, and I was often mistaken for a girl.

Nev Fountain [00:03:34]:
He used to recount a story of me being about five years old and one of dad’s mates going, oh, you’ve got a lovely little daughter. And me saying, you’re mistaken. I’m a boy. Well, I’m afraid you’re mistaken. I’m a boy. And this is from five or six.

Nancy Norbeck [00:03:53]:
Mhmm.

Nev Fountain [00:03:54]:
So, yeah, dad used to take the rip, but that’s what dads do, really.

Nancy Norbeck [00:04:00]:
Frequently. Yeah.

Nev Fountain [00:04:02]:
My dad was very proud of me, eventually. He always was proud of me. He just couldn’t stop taking the Mickey. We are a very humorous family. Some of us do it well. Some of us don’t.

Nancy Norbeck [00:04:16]:
So when did writing turn into, like, a real thing for you?

Nev Fountain [00:04:22]:
How do you mean real?

Nancy Norbeck [00:04:24]:
Yeah. That’s that’s an interesting interesting way of putting it, isn’t it? Like, when when did it change into something that seemed like something you could do as a as a lifelong career thing?

Nev Fountain [00:04:35]:
Oh, I often was absolutely certain I was gonna be a writer. The trick was trying to find something to earn money while I was writing. So ever since I was at university, I knew I was gonna be a writer, I think, even before then. And, I was sending scripts off to all manner of places, comics, writing it trying to write a children’s story at one point, trying to write a script, trying to write a comic script. I used to send dozens of things off to 2,000, which is a British comic, quite famous in this country. That was from ages of 15 and 16. So from ages of 15 and 16 to 25, I was just trying to work my way into finding a a day job that worked. I trained as a teacher, but it was so tiring.

Nev Fountain [00:05:26]:
I never got a chance to do enough writing. I worked in Hamleys Toy Shop in London, which was less exhausting, and I was able to put on a couple of fringe plays, write and produce them myself and put them on in London in the small pub venues. But the trick was getting professional, and that was going to radio comedy, which was the only place I knew you could earn money. And the difficulty being is that they had a certain they had meetings in Broadcasting House on a weekday, and then the following day, you’d be writing and putting stuff into the producers. And, it was just quite difficult on the schedule of being in a shop worker to do that. And after going back into teaching, and it that that was being even worse for me. I finally, ended up in a ticket agency after I got married, and I was able to define my own hours completely. So I I swept Wednesdays and Thursdays completely free.

Nev Fountain [00:06:27]:
And after that, it happened quite quickly. I started getting stuff on Radio four on their comedy sketch show, the satirical comedy sketch show week ending. And, that’s when it all started. It didn’t really stop after that. Other Radio four shows beckoned and Radio two shows beckoned, and, I wrote for those two. And then I went on to television. And, that’s where it started, really.

Nancy Norbeck [00:06:53]:
So you mentioned that your family was very funny. Is that where your interest in comedy came from, or did it get bolstered somewhere else? I think

Nev Fountain [00:07:05]:
my interest in comedy is from listening to radio and television. That was a very healthy comedy scene in the eighties. Just as people were inspired by Monty Python in the late sixties and seventies, I I I loved, The Young Ones and Blackadder in the eighties. They were very, much part of my formative years. I just think, having a funny family is just being in my DNA. I was the least funny person in my family. My brother was very funny. My father was very funny.

Nev Fountain [00:07:38]:
My grandfather was even funnier than both of those. And naturally funny family. I did actually use that in my work to start with because satirical comedy is satirical comedy. It’s a beast that you learn how to do. When I started writing plays and and, and full scripts, I started to tap on my father and my and my brothers and and and my and my outlook on life, a little bit more. So I’m not sure I used my, my family humor as much in the early days, but I do tap on it from time to time.

Nancy Norbeck [00:08:21]:
Yeah. Those those are good influences you mentioned. I I mean, I’ve I remember Young Ones and Blackadder, certainly.

Nev Fountain [00:08:30]:
Oh, yeah. We used to recite, Blackadder verbatim. Young Ones was absolute appointment television for twelve weeks for the two series of six. I remember when Neil got on to Top of the Pops, and I used to I recorded it and watched it with my mates. Used to watch him doing his song on top of the pops for about twenty, thirty times because it was just a funny, funny thing. Yeah. And, Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Obviously, I my my friend and I used to go camping in my front garden, and we used to be able to recite the first three pages of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, you know, from memory.

Nev Fountain [00:09:16]:
It’s, appreciation of words, I think, and that’s where the words were clever. My dad was interested in words too, and my grandfather was interested in words as well. But from an uneducated point of view, they just enjoyed, the structure of words. I don’t wanna be too pretentious about that, but, yeah, you could have a conversation with them. And not a very serious conversation, but you’d have a conversation with them.

Nancy Norbeck [00:09:49]:
Yeah. I think I think, you know, I was not at all surprised to hear you mention The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. I think that was really where I started to notice and and appreciate wordplay. You know? I I think I read that when I was about 13, and and it made such a huge impression because so much of that book is wordplay. And so, you know, from there on, whenever I started to encounter somebody who could really do something fun with words, I noticed it a lot more. And then, of course, you know, I discovered in backwards order PG Wodehouse. And as soon as I read PG Wodehouse, I said, oh, Douglas Adams definitely read this guy, you know, without even, you know, having having had that confirmed later, it was so incredibly obvious. And I was like, I must read all the PG Wodehouse I can get my mitts on, which back in the late eighties, early nineties, was not as easy over here as it is now.

Nancy Norbeck [00:10:50]:
But but, yeah, it was like, no. Must have all of this and anything like it. So so I I hear where you’re coming from with with the appreciation of of words, for sure.

Nev Fountain [00:11:02]:
Yeah. I mean, thinking about it now, my very early years was sort of in a daydream, making up stuff myself, writing my own comics. And this is really seven or eight year old being a seven or eight year old. But that after that, I can measure my life through the books I pick up and remember where I am when I read the books and when I got the books. You know, I remembered having, early Doctor Who books, my first Doctor Who book in my hand, in ’76, ’77. Brain and Morbius was the first one. And I remember the specific books I got from the library, and I remember picking up Life, the Universe, and Everything, the third book, by Douglas Adams, while on holiday and reading it while on holiday. So, those markers are as important to me as the, the friends I had and the times I had mucking about around the village and, and, just socializing.

Nancy Norbeck [00:12:05]:
Sure. Absolutely. So when you actually, you know, started writing for radio then, how how do you think all of those things went into what you were doing for radio? If they did? I mean, I’m sure they did on some level, whether it was conscious or not. But

Nev Fountain [00:12:27]:
As I say, I started writing satirical comedy, not because I really wanted to do it. It’s because that was where the money was. Mhmm. There was a show called Weekending, a sketch show, produced by Radio four, and that was the show you went to. And you were allowed to to sit in there whether you were allowed to whether whether you were a writer or not and try and, attempt to get on the show. And if you got on the show, you were paid radio rates. And if you got on the show a lot, you got commissioned. If you were commissioned a lot, the radio rate went up.

Nev Fountain [00:13:01]:
It’s basically the first step on the way to become a becoming a professional writer. So I was a satirical writer for a lot of that. I did write a play about my father. That was before weekending. I wrote two plays, fringe plays. My first one was called my grandmother was a time lord, which is basically about a child and their imagination assuming that their grandmother was a time lord because they’re very old. There’s parts of their house you never see, and it could be a Tardis. And that was very much the early part of my life and the imagination, creating everything fantastical about out of nothing.

Nev Fountain [00:13:46]:
Deccompart was about my dad and his band, and it was called Barre’s Your Man, sing along if you can. And that was about my life, and it was about how bad my dad’s band was, which is pretty bad, bad band. It was really quite excruciating. It was a ghastly band. My dad played keyboards on it, and it was a real bad pub band. And it’s got loads of gigs around the area. But, yeah. And so that was me tapping into my life, and the first play was tapping into my imagination, how it interacted with with Doctor Who.

Nev Fountain [00:14:22]:
So that that’s that’s what I was doing. That was prior to week ending. Once week ending started, it’s but it’s more of a professional job, and you kind of focus yourselves on getting the structure of sketches right and getting, and and being more aware of about politics and and and topical comedy.

Nancy Norbeck [00:14:45]:
So did you learn most of those structures on the job then, or was that something that you had picked up in the process of of kind of getting there?

Nev Fountain [00:14:53]:
I think doing the two plays was extremely useful because you don’t learn how to do comedy until you write something for a live audience. And you understand, if you’re being too long, if this the the joke is too long or things just don’t pan out the way you you you understand you work out what people are prepared to laugh at and what they’re not prepared to laugh at. So that was an incredibly that was almost a baptism of fire for me, those days. And I was pretty and because of that, I was pretty confident going into radio four that I would I knew what I was doing. And, I got on the show. I tried week one. I didn’t get anything. On week two, I got a line on week three.

Nev Fountain [00:15:42]:
I got a sketch on. And after that, I didn’t miss, a show for the next year or so. So I think that gave me the confidence to know how to write and how to make make people laugh. Yeah. It was very much that. It was very formative, those two plays. I learned a lot.

Nancy Norbeck [00:16:03]:
Sure. So how how easy did you find it pulling humor out of current events and that kind of thing?

Nev Fountain [00:16:13]:
You learn that if it’s not the story itself, which is pretty horrible, it’s about the media’s perspective on the story. It’s about people’s reactions to the story. You know, even in the worst kind of tragedy, I remember we went I was working on dead ringers, and I think we’d heard that doctor David Kelly, a man in the center of a huge political row in in in The UK about arms to Iraq and whether the government was telling the truth over weapons of mass destruction being in Iraq. You had the similar thing in America, but we had this a similar scandal over here trying to pretend there were weapons of mass destruction and using experts to as, as proof. And doctor David Kelly was a guy who sorry. Doctor David Kelly was a guy who, was providing evidence for those weapons of mass destruction, but he was being reported more strongly than his words were intended. Anyway, it was a big route, and we went dead ringers went out on the morning that he’d been found dead. He’d committed suicide.

Nev Fountain [00:17:29]:
And, basically, it completely blew up on both sides’ faces. The journalist, Andrew Gilligan, who worked for radio for had outed him, which you don’t do with your sources, and that put pressure on him. And the government had put pressure on him to come forward and tell them what he told to tell the world what they told him. So it was a pretty horrible situation, but we still managed to write a sketch about it, in the nature of the government’s response to it. And that’s what you do. You do. You you yeah. There’s always something to be had.

Nev Fountain [00:18:10]:
The magazine, Our Rightful Private Eye, did a did a a cover on pretty much the death of Diana and pretty much the the week of her her death in the car accident about the, the public’s hypocrisy about it because everyone was shouting about the press, but they buy the newspapers.

Nancy Norbeck [00:18:32]:
Mhmm.

Nev Fountain [00:18:33]:
They’re intrusive. So there is a point to be made. There is an angle to be had. There is a joke. It’s not a very funny joke, but nevertheless, it is it serves a purpose to illuminate as well as to make people laugh, to to put a perspective on it that that that introduces a note of sanity in something which is pretty inexplicable at times.

Nancy Norbeck [00:18:58]:
Well and that’s something that comedy seems to be able to do better than anything else sometimes. You know, if you if you go in being very earnest or with a dramatic approach to something like that, it can come off in a way that’s really off putting that people don’t hear. But if you do something like that through comedy, I think it can illuminate in a way that kind of makes people go, oh, wait, and and have a deeper impression than it might have otherwise.

Nev Fountain [00:19:25]:
Oh, yes. I mean, certainly in the last ten years with Brexit and Trump and the Ukraine war, we have tended our radio for shows. This is Dead Ringers, the sketch I’m working on currently. In case people don’t know, it’s an others it’s another satirical sketch. We tend to end up going out the day after or the morning after something calamitous has happened, such as, the Trump, election, Brexit, Boris Johnson winning an election, we tend to, end up going out that morning after. And the audience is we have, are pretty raw, and they’re pretty scratchy about it. And the relief they have that they feel from our sketches in that, no, we’re not mad, and we’re not on our own. There are people who feel the same way.

Nev Fountain [00:20:22]:
There are people same people like me who have a perspective on this that’s similar to mine. A lot of the humor, a lot of the laughter is laughter of relief that they are not on their own. I mean, we’re not always on their side because that’s the nature of satirical comedy. But sometimes when something bizarre and stupid happens like Brexit or or Donald Trump getting elected, people do need that kind of validation, if only from comedy. Because if there was no comedy in probably in some totalitarian state, then there’s no outlet. And without no outlet, people things don’t change. That’s the idea of a totalitarian state. That’s why they ban humor.

Nancy Norbeck [00:21:10]:
Yeah. And and, you know, we don’t have I mean, we have things like The Daily Show, but but we don’t have the same the same culture of of radio anything, really. I mean, we have NPR. But but we don’t have the radio drama. We don’t have radio comedy like you do in The UK. And as I’m listening to you, I’m really wishing that we did because I can see how that would be really, really valuable, especially, as you say, in the last ten years or so. Because if you’re not if you’re not into The Daily Show, there’s not really anywhere to get that that humorous look at things that can help you get through stuff like this.

Nev Fountain [00:21:50]:
Well, I I wouldn’t put yourselves down. I mean, race is not a thing in America. I know. But I am a huge fan of the, the late night shows. I I always listen on YouTube to Jimmy Kimmel, Seth Meyers, Stephen Colbert, occasionally, Bill Maher, if he’s not being so and too annoying. Yeah. And The Daily Show. So you have a good array arrangement of topical comedy and satirical comedy there, and they’re pretty damn good in terms of topicals.

Nev Fountain [00:22:23]:
Saturday Night Live as well. Such a shame it doesn’t do nothing happens. You know, we do our best, and then, you know, you you work your socks off trying to illuminate with comedy, and and things don’t go your way. Satire doesn’t really change society. It just kind of nudges it occasionally.

Nancy Norbeck [00:22:44]:
Yeah. And and you’re right. I forget about the late night shows. We do I love those too.

Nev Fountain [00:22:50]:
They do good good topical jokes, and I and I always try and listen to them.

Nancy Norbeck [00:22:54]:
Yeah. Yeah. But but since you mentioned Dead Ringers, I had not realized that Dead Ringers was still around. I mean, that’s one that I stumbled on unsurprisingly, you know, about probably, I don’t know, twenty five, thirty years ago because I stumbled on clips of Jon Culshaw’s Tom Baker impressions, and that was the first time I heard of it. And then, you know, every once in a while, it would kind of pop up somewhere. But I hadn’t realized that it was still on, so that’s

Nev Fountain [00:23:23]:
that’s amazing. We we stopped. We were stopped into we started in February, and we stopped in 02/2007. And most of these things with recognizable IPs got get resurrected. So we started up again in 2014, and we’ve been going ever since. Just a couple of series a year. We don’t do, phone calls anymore. I think John had just got exhausted and couldn’t think of any more ideas, and it’s quite times time consuming to do.

Nev Fountain [00:23:56]:
But we are yeah. We’ve been we’ve just coming into our twenty fifth year, but we had a hiatus in doctor who terms. We had a seven year hiatus when we were stopped from radio. We went to TV and carried on doing the radio. That was quite a thing. We did TV for a couple of years. Then we stayed on radio, and then we were neither on TV or radio, and now we’re we’re radio.

Nancy Norbeck [00:24:23]:
Well, Jon calling Tom Baker as Tom Baker is the one that really stands out in my memory as being pretty phenomenal

Nev Fountain [00:24:32]:
to Yeah.

Nancy Norbeck [00:24:32]:
Had the nerve to do that.

Nev Fountain [00:24:35]:
Jon is very, Jon Culshaw is very brave. We started off doing Sylvester because I had his number, Sylvester’s number. When I did you did Death Comes to Time with him, the radio online drama. So I got his number, and I gave it to Jon and said, well, should we? And, he said, yeah. We should. And after that, we kind of ran down all the other Doctors and did Nicholas Courtney as well. And we even while we were recording a pilot for a television show, wasn’t a pilot for Ringers, but it was a very similar, show to Ringers. Or was it for Ringers? Jon was out and about in his Tom Baker gear, and he bumped into Lis Sladen.

Nev Fountain [00:25:19]:
And, of course, Jon completely rose to the occasion. But Lis wouldn’t give us permission because she was basically just shopping and, and to quote every actress, my hair’s a mess, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. But that was quite a fortuitous, thing to happen.

Nancy Norbeck [00:25:40]:
Yeah. Yeah. It’s a shame we’ll never see it because I’ll bet it was amazing.

Nev Fountain [00:25:44]:
Yeah. I don’t know where it went, sadly.

Nancy Norbeck [00:25:49]:
Wow. To have been a fly on that wall. Yeah. Yeah. So well and speaking of of Jon Culshaw, I I saw that you wrote an ad where Jon Culshaw was playing Ozzy Osbourne with Ozzy Osbourne.

Nev Fountain [00:26:13]:
Mhmm.

Nancy Norbeck [00:26:13]:
And and I went and I I found it, and we’ll I’ll put a link in the show notes for folks who haven’t seen it. But I’m just terribly curious how how that all went in particular, you know, what Ozzy Osbourne thought of the idea of playing himself alongside someone else playing himself. I mean, how how did that come together?

Nev Fountain [00:26:37]:
Well, that was from an advertising company. I think it was from a product, I can’t believe it’s not butter.

Nancy Norbeck [00:26:46]:
Mhmm.

Nev Fountain [00:26:47]:
You can see the logic there because I can’t believe it’s not butter is almost identical to butter, and you can’t tell the difference. So let’s do some adverts with Jon almost being Ozzy Osbourne and the real Ozzy Osbourne. And he he roped us into it. It wasn’t our idea, but but he roped us roped us into to write, write the, the advert, which was very good. And, you know, it’s pretty much a closed shop, advertising writing advert ads. So we were very glad to, dip our toe in the advertising water. But it’s not the first time or the only time they did stuff together. They did a a skip for Comic Relief with, with Jon interviewing Ozzy.

Nev Fountain [00:27:31]:
And that was when I met Ozzy, and I met Sharon. That was a lot of fun. Sharon was very quiet and very softly spoken. I think they were both a bit nervous about going on television because Jan Raveins was being Sharon, Sharon Osbourne, and Sharon Osbourne was being Sharon Osbourne, and Jon was being Ozzy, and everyone’s being Ozzy. So it’s the two couples meeting together. I can’t remember what what it was for either for children in need or commit relief. You would be able to track it down on YouTube, I’m sure. But, yeah, that was fun.

Nev Fountain [00:28:04]:
That was fun meeting Ozzy. He was quite eccentric. There was a joke I remember. He’s gonna prove you’re Ozzy, and and John said you almost interviewing Ozzy Osborne as Ozzy, and Jon’s question was, what is your name? And Ozzy’s answer joke was, I’ve forgotten. And that was this is prep this is live, I think. And then Jon said, what is your name? And as he leaped up onto his chair and screamed, “The prince of darkness!” So, yeah, it was, interesting. I mean, Jon is very good at this.

Nev Fountain [00:28:47]:
He was very good at being on the hoof. We had him meeting Tony Blair for a a charity thing, and they were absolute, what’s the word, shits about it, the his spin team. And they basically removed this our sketch that we’d written. They’d, we’d bitten the sketch. They’d agreed it. Then someone had leaked that he was doing it with Jon as Tony Blair, and then they got angry and used it as leverage. I think they probably leaked it themselves, and they used their outrageous leverage to make cuts. So there was practically no sketch left.

Nev Fountain [00:29:25]:
But Jon squeezed as much as he could into that meeting with Tony Blair, just all the little bits and pieces because there was no script agreed at all because it was basically just to meet each other. But, you know, Jon’s very good at that. He’s very good at, at coping with people’s tantrums and people not willing to, go via a script.

Nancy Norbeck [00:29:53]:
Yeah. I mean, that that kinda makes sense too since, you know, he was out improving Tom Baker with Lis Sladen. I mean, that’s that’s kind of the nature of of improv.

Nev Fountain [00:30:04]:
Definitely. Definitely. He’s a diamond. He’s absolutely brilliant.

Nancy Norbeck [00:30:09]:
For sure. That that was very clear again when I was listening to him call Tom Baker as Tom Baker. I mean, that’s a it’s a special skill to be able to do that in the first place on top of having the nerve to make that phone call.

Nev Fountain [00:30:25]:
Yeah. Yeah. Tom was on his best behavior that day. And, of course, he, he riff he did that again on television for his alter ego show, which the premise was he would dress up as the person and interview them as themselves, similar to the Ozzy Osbourne idea, but a whole show. So he met Tom as Tom, and I wrote my writing partner, I wrote a lot of jokes for that. I remember them in the pub. It’s a prescient it’s a prescient joke because Jon said, yes. I remember Saturday night television.

Nev Fountain [00:31:04]:
Tell so I remember Saturday night television. Do you remember that evil man in the robot chair? And Tom says, “Who, Davros?” And Jon says, no. Jimmy Savile. This was pre everything. This is pre everything to do with Jimmy Savile because he used to do “Jim’ll Fix It,” and he used to have a a magic chair, which things used to come out of, like his gym will fix it badges used to come out of the, out of the arm. So that was the joke, the evil man in the robot chair, and it turned out to be incredibly prescient.

Nancy Norbeck [00:31:37]:
Indeed. Yes. Indeed. For US listeners who don’t know who that is, we we found out that, he was he was a children’s TV guy. Right?

Nev Fountain [00:31:48]:
He was everything. He was a DJ, and then he migrated to Saturday night television. He did he did children’s shows and and all that manner. He was an incredibly odd man. But in those days, 1970s, the presenters were always a little bit odd. And you but he was pretty much the oddest, And they had a a program based around his personality in which children would write in, and he would make their dreams come true. And, it was only after he died that everything came out that he was a a pervert and a rapist and all all manner of terrible things. And that just seems to be the theme for 1970s presenters.

Nev Fountain [00:32:30]:
All the the terrible things come out about later. Stuart Hall was another one who who did 1970s television, and Rolf Harris was practically the queen mother of television on BBC one for a long period of time. And he got, he got into trouble and got sent to prison. So that does seem did seem to be a running thing. There were a lot of dark secrets in 1970s television that that got, got unearthed in the 21st century.

Nancy Norbeck [00:33:00]:
Yeah. Yeah. For sure. But that that that joke, you’re not kidding.

Nev Fountain [00:33:07]:
Jimmy was of a different Jimmy Savile was of a different level to all the others. He was quite quite a an evil man.

Nancy Norbeck [00:33:14]:
Yeah. Yeah. Oi. So since you mentioned Death Comes to Time, which was the radio show it was 02/2001. Right? Yeah. Yeah. And that was your first foray into doctor who, and that was during the wilderness years between the TV movie and the new series starting in 02/2005. Had you ever had any inkling that you were gonna end up doing anything doctor who related other than dead ringers?

Nev Fountain [00:33:46]:
Absolutely not. I mean, as far as I can as far as I was concerned, doctor who was dead. I never pointed myself in that way at all because it wasn’t a a thing. I am always of the I’ve always been of the philosophy that I write. I don’t write for specific things. I think that’s what Robert Holmes said. I don’t want I if you want to write, you want to be a writer, you don’t say I want to write x or y. I just want to write.

Nev Fountain [00:34:15]:
So I’ve gone where the money is or where the opportunities are, and there were no opportunities in doctor who at the time. There were the Virgin books, but I I’ve read a few and had no interest in writing a a Virgin book. They weren’t really my cup of tea. And Big Finish was just getting started, but, not on my radar at that time. It was a complete coincidence that we were squatting in a in a in an office in Broadcasting House, the home of, BBC Radio. And the next office along, someone had put up a “Doctor Who: Death Comes to Time” logo on on on the on the door. And I found out that Dan Freedman was putting together a pilot, but he was doing it through BBC Comedy. Oddly enough, I think the head of BBC radio comedy was a bit of an eccentric himself called John Pidgeon, and he’d give it the go he gave it the given it the go ahead.

Nev Fountain [00:35:09]:
So I knocked on his door and said, “You’re doing Doctor Who. Can I be your scientific adviser?” “Fine. I was gonna use Mike Tucker because at the time, he was quite close to Sylvan Soap. But as you’re in the next office, that makes sense that I should use you.” So that really was my first foray, and it was by complete coincidence.

Nancy Norbeck [00:35:34]:
I mean, that’s as good a way as any.

Nev Fountain [00:35:37]:
Yeah. Absolutely. Serendipity. It’s a lovely word, serendipity. Very much a happy accident.

Nancy Norbeck [00:35:43]:
For sure. For sure. So so you just stumbled your way in there in a way. And and then how, I mean, how how long did it take to to make it happen, and what all did you end up doing with it?

Nev Fountain [00:36:00]:
Well, we put together the radio pilot, the half an hour radio pilot, which is the first episode of death comes to time. It was quite a leisurely process. We had a lot of time to sort things out. I became a little bit more than a than a a scientific adviser. I became sort of I became script editor because Dan had a lot of things that I could suggest make better because it was a bit aimless the first episode. It was lot of suggestions I made to to make it better. And, it was put together, half an hour radio pilot. And, of course, BBC Radio turned it down because at the time, the, they’d done focus groups, and, they had basically decided that Radio four was a woman’s channel because women listened to it during the day.

Nev Fountain [00:36:55]:
And women didn’t like science fiction or horror. That’s received wrist wisdom. So it was all cooking shows and, and nice dramas and woman’s hour. So it really didn’t fit in with their their idea of what radio four was at the time. This is completely different to what they see now as radio four because they do all manner of things across the board. But at that time, it was rather a severe, stricture on what you could put out on Radio four. So, obviously, it got canned. And I think, BBC online were through James Goss and the others, were thinking of doing some doctor who dramas through the website.

Nev Fountain [00:37:37]:
And, Dan said, I’ve got this ready made, episode for you. And I think they, animated it, and they put it out, and the reaction was staggering. I think it got about a million hits overnight. As as far as I remember that, it was just that one, the the the the the episode that was commissioned by radio comedy. And because of the reaction, they asked Dan to complete it. So it was a long process. And, the, the development of the the rest of the story was a bit more fraught, and I had less to do with it. It was written in haste a lot of the time.

Nev Fountain [00:38:25]:
But, yeah, it did take a long time, because of that was the process. It it was started as a radio comedy project just to go out on radio four in the drama slot. It got turned down. It got picked up by BBC online. It got put out by BBC online. They got the response. They commissioned the rest of the story, and then, yeah, took a while.

Nancy Norbeck [00:38:50]:
Was the whole thing animated? Because I ended up listening to it on CD, so I never saw the animated version.

Nev Fountain [00:38:56]:
Yeah. It was all animated. It’s kind of like a yeah. Very crude animation. Mhmm. It got developed. I think by Screamer the Schauker, they’ve really got, they’ve really got their teeth into how to animate stuff. The I think that was a lot better.

Nev Fountain [00:39:11]:
Because after that, they did real time, and then they did Shada, and then they did scream with the shalker. So they done they did four. Took a four after dead comes to time.

Nancy Norbeck [00:39:23]:
Yeah. That makes sense. But but my it’s been probably twelve years since I listened to death comes to time. It was it was great stuff for a road trip. That’s that’s when I listened to it. But I just remember it being so so big. You know, it felt it felt very big, you know, and and the the cast being kind of unusual with Stephen Fry making an appearance. And

Nev Fountain [00:39:53]:
John Sessions.

Nancy Norbeck [00:39:55]:
Yes. And and I will admit that my favorite moment was when the brigadier turns up, and I won’t say anything more about that, so I won’t spoil anybody. But but that was definitely definitely my my very favorite moment of it. But, but, yeah, I mean, it just it feels like it was so big. It probably didn’t didn’t feel that way to you as much because you weren’t listening to it on a road trip. But

Nev Fountain [00:40:22]:
but,

Nancy Norbeck [00:40:22]:
yeah, it just felt it feels like it would have been a a huge undertaking even though perhaps it wasn’t.

Nev Fountain [00:40:27]:
Felt significant because it was the only thing the BBC was actually making that was Doctor Who. And on the strength of that, I got invited to a couple of conventions, one in Manchester, one in LA, because we were the only official doctor who product. Big Finish was Big Finish. They got the license. That’s fine. But it showed that the BBC had interest in doctor who. Whether whether that that belief was real or not, at the time, it probably wasn’t because it was basically BBC online doing the things off their own bat. But I think that’s what fans perceived that the BBC was starting to to make doctor who again.

Nev Fountain [00:41:08]:
So it felt incredibly significant, and the story felt big in terms of the production. I think Dan Friedman spent hours and hours wanting to make it Wagnerian. I I I mean, my first my personal opinion is it starts off incredibly promisingly. And I think like lots of stories that promise to be significant, they never quite match up to the promise. If you’re gonna say something that’s gonna be the biggest thing ever, then I it you you you make a sort of a false promise, really, because I think things that become the biggest thing ever aren’t intended to be the biggest thing ever and sometimes you know, three doctors is amazing to me, but it looks just like him. It I bet they didn’t make it to be significant, if you know

Nancy Norbeck [00:41:57]:
what I mean. Yeah.

Nev Fountain [00:42:00]:
You know? It was nice to have Pat back and and and Bill. And they and it was done in much the same way as any other story in that season, but the significance only comes later to it. Sure. And, the free willing, humorous nature of the three doctors is what gives makes it special, not the fact that it says, this is special, unlike, on the latter, anniversary things that kind of project, their importance before they even are broadcast, if you know what I mean.

Nancy Norbeck [00:42:35]:
Yeah. I think when you when you set out to make a big thing, it’s easy to get stuck in the the scale of it has to be a big thing. You know? Whereas, like you say, you know, and I I interviewed Katy Manning at Long Island Who a couple years ago, and, you know, I said, did you have any clue when you were making “The Three Doctors?” She said, “God no. We were just making the the the episode.” That that was it. And so it it was not the big thing that that we look at it as now because it was just, okay. Here we are, and we’ve got Pat Troughton and and Bill Hartnell back, and and we’re just doing what we do every every week like normal. And they just happen to be here, and this is what we’re doing this week.

Nancy Norbeck [00:43:22]:
Yeah. So

Nev Fountain [00:43:23]:
I’d say Deadly Assassin was just another story to slot in the series. Genesis of the Daleks was just another story to slot in the series. I know they were on to a good thing. I thought Terry Nation was enjoying writing it, and, and I’m sure David Maloney was gonna have fun directing it. But the significance of it and the significance of deadly assassin, I suppose there was some thought about that. I don’t think Robert Holmes was worried about that. He was just writing what he enjoyed. Contrast that with the the ultimate foe, which is meant to be the biggest thing ever in terms of doctor who.

Nev Fountain [00:43:56]:
It’s compromised, and so there’s a little bit of a so what at the end because there was an effort to make it the biggest thing ever, but a few things didn’t pan out. No. That’s the danger of of saying bringing out the loudspeaker and and and saying the the megaphone and saying, this is gonna be amazing. This is gonna be significant.

Nancy Norbeck [00:44:21]:
Yeah. And I think that’s the trap when you get into something where you have been around for so long that you have 50th anniversaries and 60th anniversaries because the numbers themselves are so big

Nev Fountain [00:44:31]:
Yes.

Nancy Norbeck [00:44:31]:
That you get trapped by it has to be big because it’s big. You know? And then it’s very hard to deliver anything that can actually live up to that because what are you what are you gonna do? Which I think was actually what made doing three specials for the sixtieth smarter than trying to do one enormous thing. You know? Whether you think that worked or not, I think it was still probably smarter than we’re gonna do a huge a huge thing.

Nev Fountain [00:45:01]:
Yeah. Yeah. I think so. I think it, it made sense to dodge that cliche of doing lots of doctors and, and the big meetup, because, you know, the surprise is not there. You

Nancy Norbeck [00:45:17]:
know? Mhmm.

Nev Fountain [00:45:19]:
It’s it’s always a problem. It’s within every franchise, what do you do to make a significant story in the Marvel Universe? Now what do you do? You can’t because you’ve not got any groundwork there. Yeah. You can’t make an artificial significant story and and pluck it out of nothing unless you have an idea. Unless you have a good idea with a good story, it doesn’t work.

Nancy Norbeck [00:45:45]:
Right. And I don’t think you can force a story to be a good story. You know? Like like you’re saying, you know, letting a good writer just play around with what’s interesting to them in the moment is probably a better way to get a good story than to say, we’ve gotta write a really good story right now. You know, putting those big expectations on it makes it a lot harder to turn something like that out than just, oh, go have fun with this idea. Yeah. So, you know, I think, you know, the three the three special idea, some people liked it, some people hated it, but it was different. It gave you three things instead of one. Your odds of liking at least one of them were pretty good.

Nev Fountain [00:46:31]:
And You never thought of it as a special in some ways. It’s just doctor who is back kind of thing. It was, yeah, the novelty was there simply by it being there and not and not not being there because there was an expectation. There was there was gonna be nothing after Jodie. So that was the novelty. The sixtieth anniversary’s the the message of the sixtieth anniversary is it’s still going, and there is more life to it. That’s that’s that that that was the celebration.

Nancy Norbeck [00:47:07]:
Yeah. Yeah. And I think fans tend not to appreciate that too. You know? We think that there’s always got to be something, even though we lived through the period of there was nothing. Well, some of us did. Newer fans didn’t. But

Nev Fountain [00:47:19]:
Yeah. Yeah. It’s it’s a surprise now, isn’t it? But people get used to everything.

Nancy Norbeck [00:47:25]:
Mhmm.

Nev Fountain [00:47:25]:
They they get used to Doctor Who not being there, and they get used to just Doctor Who just being there. And, yeah, I think they do assume it’s gonna just carry on, and, and it can withstand, all their rage.

Nancy Norbeck [00:47:42]:
Yeah. Yeah. For real. There’s too much of that too. Since you’ve also since we mentioned Big Finish, you’ve written for Big Finish. And, you know, you’ve also written novels now, and I’m curious to know, like, going back and forth between forms and formats and, you know, other people’s playing in other people’s sandboxes and playing in your own sandboxes, you know, how how how does that go for you? What do you what do you like about that? What’s what’s new and different?

Nev Fountain [00:48:14]:
Well, I like, the different disciplines for each medium. When I write for a particular medium, I try to make it work specifically for that medium, and that is the exercise. When I did Omega, which was the first, Big Finish story I did, I wanted to make it a story that only worked on radio as it’s an audio story. I wanted to make it specific to that. Someone had, build another big finish that had come out a couple of years earlier as you you this is this story could only work on on on audio. And I listened to it, and I said, no. You can. That’s just it’s it can work on audio.

Nev Fountain [00:48:56]:
It’s just particularly gruesome, in terms of visuals you are, you are suggesting. So I wanted to do something which absolutely could not work on television, and that is the discipline I always have. When we transitioned from dead ringers from radio to television, we made it a a mark of achievement to write a sketch that would work only on television and that we worked very hard on making more visuals to each sketch. So, yeah, my novels are very novel y. My radio sketches my radio plays are very radio y, and my television work is very television y. Those are the disciplines. And there’s a piece of every everything I write for Big Finish, there is an element of radio that that’s there. I go on to doing, the kingmaker, which makes a huge play of an identity of a particular character.

Nev Fountain [00:50:02]:
I think if you draw that character visually, then you go, that’s not the character that you’re suggesting it is, but the fact that there is no visual component helps. Mhmm. And there’s another instant involving a piece coming off a person and you don’t see what piece it is, and then you they then it’s talked about in episode four, and then you realize what that piece is. But if it was television, you’d be you wouldn’t be able to do it. And I can go through every one of my radio plays in order, and there is some kind of component that that is only works, in terms of sound. And, with my books, with my novels, yeah, I write them very bookie. I write I wrote, a book called A Painkiller, which is pretty much first person about a woman who suffers from chronic neuropathic pain. And she’s been in pain for about ten years, And she finds her own suicide note in a drawer, and she can’t remember writing it herself.

Nev Fountain [00:51:11]:
And it’s that kind of intimacy you get with a a written story in book form that you can’t get with a play, visually or or or on radio. So, yeah, I mean, when you buy a Netfountain book, you get a book. When you listen to a Netfountain radio play, you get a radio play. It’s not a television play with the numbers, hacked off.

Nancy Norbeck [00:51:39]:
That’s so interesting because I don’t think most people stop and think about it that way. But I think that’s you know, you’re really taking advantage of what the medium can do in in ways that that most people don’t necessarily think about. I mean, I’ve written a novel, and I never stopped to think about what can I do with this medium that I couldn’t do in another one? And that’s probably because I haven’t played around in the other ones. But, you know, I I don’t know how much most people would stop and and say, what what can I do because this is radio that I couldn’t do on TV to make this work in a particular way? I think that’s really cool.

Nev Fountain [00:52:18]:
I do love writers who play with form. I like Piranello, who wrote six characters in search of an author, which is about the nature of characterization on stage. Are these characters, or are these representations of the characters? Do they are they aware they are characters? And that was very appealing to me in university. And Agatha Christie, say Agatha Christie, who played around with form of the novel and, wrote books like, the murder of Roger Ackroyd, which played around with writing and played around with the with the the form of the murder mystery. I love under my as well as the radio television thing, I love undermining the conventions of what you are in. The kingmaker, for example, made I made everyone assume it was a story about the master because that’s what your doctor who brain walked into. Not about it. So, you know, there are cliches which which which writers fall into.

Nev Fountain [00:53:26]:
And the fun thing is throwing up those cliches, and in fact, they mean something completely different, these cliches. And that’s the best way to fool people. And when you write as many murder mysteries as I do, it’s very important to fool people. With my, the book that’s currently out, the fan who knew too much, which is about a bunch of science fiction fans who decide to solve a murder, which they think they’ve worked out happened in the nineteen eighties on a television show that they’re very interested in. They’re fans of, science fiction show called Vixens from the Void. They decide to pitch, a Blu ray documentary to the BBC so they can bring all the actors back to the same place where they filmed it on location and work out who did the murder. The play’s the thing wherein they’ll catch the conscience of the king. So they they get them to reenact, scenes from the original science fiction series to see if they can work out who murdered this person back in the eighties, this extra from the show.

Nev Fountain [00:54:31]:
But what I’m doing is something completely different. That is what I do. That is what a lot of people said. You think you’re reading one type of book, but you’re actually reading a completely different type of book, and that’s the best way to fool people. And you think you’re listening to a certain type of Doctor Who convention, and you’re not all. It’s it’s tremendous fun. I it really keeps me interested in writing, that kind of thing.

Nancy Norbeck [00:54:58]:
I was gonna say, you must have a great time putting these things together.

Nev Fountain [00:55:03]:
Well, they say that to comedians all the time. You must have great fun writing this. Not always. The kingmaker was a bit of a slog because it was a very difficult premise to actually sort out correctly. It took me ages. It was a real horrible thing to write. But most of the time, I am enjoying it very much. You enjoy the process of creation.

Nev Fountain [00:55:26]:
You enjoy, putting things together and making them work. The act of writing is a creative process. I can’t just write a synopsis and and follow that synopsis to the letter. There’s something wrong with you if you just do that, because, yeah, everything is is is creative. You write a scene in a book, and there are there are ways things that things happen. Characters go in different different directions. New ideas turn up. The process of writing creates ideas.

Nev Fountain [00:56:00]:
So it turns out much better than you hope it is, usually.

Nancy Norbeck [00:56:04]:
Yeah. That’s that’s always been my experience. And I I know when I’ve worked with writers and their characters suddenly do something they didn’t expect for the first time, it always freaks them out. And I’m like, no. No. That’s when you know it’s working. Keep going.

Nev Fountain [00:56:19]:
Exactly. Yeah.

Nancy Norbeck [00:56:21]:
They usually think they’ve lost their minds. I’m like, no.

Nev Fountain [00:56:23]:
No. No. No. No.

Nancy Norbeck [00:56:24]:
That’s when the magic’s happening. And

Nev Fountain [00:56:27]:
it this book here, is it does it go backwards? Yes. It goes backwards. And that’s the fan he that’s the one that’s currently out. That’s very much like Omega, my first big finish in which the process of writing actually threw up one of the biggest twists as I started Omega as a pretty conventional story. And And you all wanted to write it in a radio way, but it was pretty conventional story. And the act of writing the synopsis and watching Arc of Infinity suddenly realized what I could do, and and make it into a really special radio specific, audio specific story. But it wasn’t there when I decided to start writing it. It wasn’t there at all.

Nev Fountain [00:57:08]:
And with this book, The Fanny Knew Too Much. I had an ending all planned. And I went on holiday to Turkey with my lady, and, I just suddenly realized, oh, yes. That’s the proper ending to the story and completely changed the the nature of the book, which I had written, which I had written and submitted. And just by adding and just by having that revelation, thinking about what you’re writing, it made it three times better. Three times better. At least three times better. I, I love the ending to this book.

Nev Fountain [00:57:44]:
I love the end I love the twist in Omega. I love all these things, but it only comes out through the actual creative process. Only comes out. You can’t just write a synopsis and go, that’s it. That’s my book. That’s my play. And I will start writing it now from there to there. With with books with the book, you normally have a starting point and a place you wanna get to, and everything in the middle is up for grabs.

Nev Fountain [00:58:08]:
For this occasion, I realized the ending was up for grabs as well, but I didn’t realize it.

Nancy Norbeck [00:58:14]:
Yeah. That’s I love that. That’s a great story. So well, I I love this conversation too, especially everything you’ve said in the last couple of minutes about how all this works because I think that I think that is true. I think you really don’t know what you’re dealing with in any creative situation until you’re in it. And I think that’s when you really learn about it and about yourself and about, you know, how your whole process works and, you know, how it needs to come together is often not nearly as much in your control as you think, especially when you start out. And then when that spark hits and it all starts to come together is really simple. Really cool.

Nev Fountain [00:58:59]:
Biology. You think a lot more about the thing you’re doing while you’re writing than before writing. Mhmm.

Nancy Norbeck [00:59:04]:
That’s just

Nev Fountain [00:59:05]:
the nature of it. And I’m I’m writing a a book now. I’m on 40,000 words, and I spent much longer in the process of writing than I did about the planning of the book. So it’s only natural that more ideas will come up during the writing of the book than there is the planning of the book. Yes.

Nancy Norbeck [00:59:22]:
Makes perfect sense. So so I think you’re right. Anybody who sits down, especially for the first time, saying, I’m gonna write a book, and it’s gonna be about this and this and this and this, and it’s gonna be easy because this is what I’m gonna write, is probably in for a big surprise. And if they’re not, then something hasn’t gone quite right.

Nev Fountain [00:59:41]:
Something has seriously gone awry. Yeah. I mean, I know that some writers can work like that. I think they’re in the minority.

Nancy Norbeck [00:59:49]:
Yeah. Yeah. I I agree. I am I am largely a fly by the seat of your pants kind of writer myself, and I can’t imagine trying to stick to an outline religiously. It would make me crazy.

Nev Fountain [01:00:04]:
There was a thing well, there there can be a germ inside the book that you need to stick to, a premise that you’ve got to that you’ve been that you’re enjoying, that the premise that that you’ve got to produce by the end of the book. But everything around that is is is just jam. You can you can play around with it and have more fun. If you know the book you’re writing and the and the premise and the and and and the trick that you’ve got in the middle, you can write around it and make it more special. Like with the twist in Omega, I once I’ve worked out the twist in Omega or the twist in Kingmaker, I could have a lot more fun, playing with the audience’s expectations of what what’s gonna happen before I spring the twist on them. You can lay it on a bit thicker. You can you can push them in a in a in a completely different way because you know there’s a twist coming. And that’s great great fun leading people off in in all manner of directions.

Nev Fountain [01:01:06]:
You can have lots of fun, and you can really twist the twist. You can really wrap it up. You can put everything around it and, and and, give them even more and more clues, which they’ll never ever get. And once they the twist has happened, they go, I wish I want to read this book again. I want to listen to this play again, but I’ve missed so much. The the nature of this book is completely different to me. I have to read it again knowing what I know now. Right.

Nancy Norbeck [01:01:41]:
Right.

Nev Fountain [01:01:42]:
That’s what I I I aim for. And a lot of people say, I’ve done that with your book. I’ve gone back, and I’ve read it again because I want to read it knowing this thing.

Nancy Norbeck [01:01:52]:
Right. Now I wanna see how all the pieces fall together.

Nev Fountain [01:01:54]:
Yeah. Exactly. It I’m gonna it’s gonna I’m gonna enjoy it reading in that way now.

Nancy Norbeck [01:02:00]:
Yes. Yeah. It’s it’s always fun to be surprised the first time and then to go back and and figure out how it all came together.

Nev Fountain [01:02:09]:
Yeah. I’m sure people have read The Murder of Roger Ackroyd again. I’m sure I’ve read The Murder of Roger Ackroyd knowing what’s gonna happen to her. Have you?

Nancy Norbeck [01:02:22]:
I haven’t read that one, so I can’t speak to that. But but now I will. I mean, not knowing what’s gonna happen, but I’ll probably read it multiple times.

Nev Fountain [01:02:29]:
Yeah. If you know what if you don’t know what’s gonna happen, it’s great. If you know what’s gonna happen, it’s also great. It’s like watching The Sixth Sense over again. People will not say, oh, well, I’ve seen The Sixth Sense. I know what’s gonna happen in the sixes. I had no interest in watching it again. I think that’s just mad.

Nev Fountain [01:02:44]:
You watch it again because you’re gonna enjoy the camera tricks, the lines, the the the directorial flourishes that make the twist work.

Nancy Norbeck [01:02:56]:
Right.

Nev Fountain [01:02:57]:
Enjoy that with the knowledge in your head what’s gonna happen.

Nancy Norbeck [01:03:01]:
Yeah. There’s no reason you can’t do both. You only get the first time once, but then you can have the second time.

Nev Fountain [01:03:10]:
We do have a phrase in this country. I I could eat that again, after a really good meal, which doesn’t sound very savory, but you get the pork. Yes. You get what they mean.

Nancy Norbeck [01:03:22]:
Absolutely. And and I hope that this conversation will encourage people to do that and to think about, you know, how how did this how did this come together to have this effect? And let’s go back and and see if we could figure it out because I think that adds to the fun of that experience.

Nev Fountain [01:03:43]:
It’s like music. You listen to a song over and over again because you’re waiting for that bit that bit in a day in the life where it goes from the crescendo to Paul McCartney singing. That moment that moment in a day in the life and a good piece of music, a good piece of classical music. You are looking forward to it, that bit.

Nancy Norbeck [01:04:01]:
Yes.

Nev Fountain [01:04:01]:
You know it’s coming. So, you know, there’s no surprise, but you are enjoying the ride.

Nancy Norbeck [01:04:08]:
Yes. Most definitely. And I think that’s what life is about. It’s about enjoying the ride with all of these things.

Nev Fountain [01:04:15]:
Enjoying the ride.

Nancy Norbeck [01:04:16]:
Yeah. Well, I have enjoyed this ride very much, and I really appreciate you coming and and having this conversation with me.

Nev Fountain [01:04:26]:
Well, I I’m I’m glad to be here. I’m enjoying the ride. Excellent.

Nancy Norbeck [01:04:33]:
That’s this week’s episode. Thanks so much to Nev Fountain and to you. Nev’s links are in the show notes, and his new book, Lies and Dolls, is out now. I hope you’ll leave a review for this episode. There is a link right in your podcast app, and it is super easy and really, really makes a difference. If you enjoyed our conversation, please do share it with a friend. Thanks so much. If this episode resonated with you or if you’re feeling a little bit less than confident in your creative process right now, join me at the spark on Substack as we form a community that supports and celebrates each other’s creative courage.

Nancy Norbeck [01:05:08]:
It’s free, and it’s also where I’ll be adding programs for subscribers and listeners. The link is in your podcast app, so sign up today. See you there, and see you next week. Follow Your Curiosity is produced by me, Nancy Norbeck, with music by Joseph McDade. If you like Follow Your Curiosity, please subscribe, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. And don’t forget to tell your friends. It really helps me reach new listeners.

Creative Pep Talk #110: Are You Good Enough?

Pep Talk Logo
Pep Talk Logo


Hamstrung by the notion that you’re not enough? This is the episode for you. I have two reasons why you’re wrong in this short episode.

If you’re tired of feeling like you can’t get out of your own way and want to FINALLY make some progress toward your creative dreams, let’s talk

Want more tips? Check out this playlist with all my previous Creative Pep Talks!

Could you leave a review? It’s really easy, and it helps SO much. Thanks!

Join my free creative community, The Spark! We celebrate each other’s creative courage, and I’ll be sharing programs for subscribers and listeners there in the coming months.

Get in Touch

I’d love to hear your feedback, questions, and experience with these ideas! Send me a note at fycuriosity.com, or contact me on Instagram, or Bluesky.

Subscribe!

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Creative Commons License

Transcript: Are You Good Enough?


Please note: This is an unedited transcript, provided as a courtesy, and reflects the actual conversation as closely as possible. Please forgive any typographical or grammatical errors.


Nancy Norbeck [00:00:06]:
Welcome to Follow Your Curiosity. Ordinary people, extraordinary creativity. Here’s how to get unstuck. I’m your host creativity coach Nancy Norbeck. Let’s go. Are you good enough? Are you sure? Really? Here’s the answer. Yes. And I’m about to tell you why. Hi, I’m Nancy Norbeck with this week’s creative pep talk.

Nancy Norbeck [00:00:29]:
And I honestly cannot believe that we have gotten to pep talk number 110 without talking about you being good enough, Because being good enough or more to the point, the feeling that we’re not good enough is one of the most massive creative blocks that people face and not just creative—in any part of life. The easiest way to shut ourselves down is with those four words. I’m not good enough. Done. But here’s the thing. You are good enough and here’s why. Number one. What are you trying to be good enough at? You notice this question of, am I good enough? It is not a complete question because we are not specifying at what.

Nancy Norbeck [00:01:22]:
I think that’s a problem. Don’t you? There’s hardly anything else that we would, you know, forget the most important context with in our lives. But when it comes to ourselves and the opportunity to doubt ourselves, we stop short way too early. And we do not say, I am not good enough at this specific thing. And as a result, we tend to take that as a sign that we are just playing not good enough, full stop, in any or every capacity. And that’s just not true. You might not be a great golfer, but you might be a fabulous baseball player, a fabulous parent, a great watercolorist, a fantastic cook. And even if you are not fantastic at all of those things, you are undoubtedly good enough at at least some of them.

Nancy Norbeck [00:02:14]:
But because human beings have a negativity bias built straight into our brains, we don’t think about those things. We don’t give ourselves enough credit for that, which is why I have another episode about giving yourself credit. If you haven’t listened to it, check it out. And so we just wipe the slate of all of those things that we’re actually good at, where we deserve credit, where we have value and worth, which by the way is inherent, even if you truly aren’t good at anything. And we just decide in a blanket moment that we are just not good enough. And it doesn’t matter at what because we are not being specific. So my first question for you is, what are you good at? Where are you absolutely for sure good enough? Take a minute and write that stuff down and hang it somewhere where you will see it. Because we all need antidotes to the negativity bias.

Nancy Norbeck [00:03:14]:
We all do. Without them, it is super easy to forget the places where actually, you know what? I am really good at that, and I am, you know, I’m just fine. I don’t need to doubt myself. Maybe I need to doubt myself at playing Jenga, but I don’t need to doubt myself at being able to cook a great meal. I don’t need to doubt my ability to be a great parent, to hang out with my kids, to make people laugh. Whatever those things are, you deserve credit for those all the time, every single day. So please give it to yourself. Question number two.

Nancy Norbeck [00:03:53]:
I am not good enough compared to whom or to what? Again, this is where this question is a problem. We cut it off too soon, and we miss the nuance. I realize that here in 2025 not everyone is good at nuance, especially on the internet, but that doesn’t mean that nuance isn’t important. It is important to know who exactly we are comparing ourselves with. And I have done a whole pile of videos on TikTok and YouTube recently all about the dangers of comparison and the occasional good side, and I invite you to check those out. I have just created a playlist for them on YouTube, so they are super easy to find. And if I can find a link for them, I’ll put it in this video. But, you know, I’m not good enough compared to, what, Michelangelo? Not many people are Michelangelo.

Nancy Norbeck [00:04:49]:
But maybe sculpting is not your thing. Maybe something else is where you really shine, and the fault is not in you, but in the question. Where we ask it, how we ask it, and the context in which we ask it. So I promise you, you are plenty good enough at something, probably a whole lot of things that you’re not giving yourself credit for. And I just want to remind you that even Michelangelo did not start out as Michelangelo. Michelangelo had to do a lot of really, really, really bad work before he became the Michelangelo that we think of. And so does every other fabulous expert artist, whatever the context is that you can think of that you are probably comparing yourself to. So consider those two questions.

Nancy Norbeck [00:05:43]:
And for the love of all that’s holy, I beg you, make that list. You will feel so much better, and it will put a spring in your step that makes everything else easier, happier, and more possible for you because we don’t have to be good enough at absolutely everything. That is not human, and it’s never gonna happen. But we can give ourselves credit for and appreciate the things where, you know what? I’m really darn good at that. Give that a try. Let me know what happens. See you next time. If this episode resonated with you, or if you’re feeling a little bit less than confident in your creative process right now, join me at The Spark on Substack as we form a community that supports and celebrates each other’s creative courage.

Nancy Norbeck [00:06:30]:
It’s free, and it’s also where I’ll be adding programs for subscribers and listeners. The link is in your podcast app, so sign up today. See you there, and see you next week. Follow Your Curiosity is produced by me, Nancy Norbeck, with music by Joseph McDade. If you like Follow Your Curiosity, please subscribe, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. And don’t forget to tell your friends. It really helps me reach new listeners.

Working Moms, Power Struggles, and Creative Liberation with Elle Jaye

Elle Jaye
Elle Jaye
Elle Jaye

Elle Jaye supports powerful and resilient working moms who want to put an end to the power struggles with their child, so they become a strong team instead of adversaries. The working moms realize they are women first, and mothering is another job they do. By disrupting this mindset, the women step into their power and resilience as an extension of their values and intent for their children. Elle joins me to talk about how she discovered her creative side in her 20s, how we normalize and pass on relationship and parenting patterns, how we can see adults as atrophied children rather than seeing children as mini adults, and more.

Episode breakdown:

00:00 Introduction.
04:24 Childhood curiosity suppressed, later recognized as problem-solving and questioning.
08:00 Creativity awakens through coloring and relaxing with children.
12:00 Daughters express creativity differently; family talents traced back generations.
16:26 Watching movies as family sparks deeper curiosity and connection.
20:10 Analyzing shows reveals generational patterns, manipulation, and emotional awareness gaps. 24:39 Parenting styles shaped by media; Cosby Show inspires new possibilities.
28:27 Realizing art and creativity were present through connection and escapism.
32:00 Family meetings on TV offered models for healthy communication.
36:41 Adults repeat childhood patterns unless they intentionally choose to change.
41:00 Children should not be seen as mini adults; generational shifts.
46:00 Letting go of control, discovering healthy ways to parent.
51:00 Play, fun, and creativity help shift negative energy and judgment.
56:00 Awareness of presence, connecting with nature improves perspective and creativity.

Show Links: Elle Jaye

Elle’s Facebook

Instagram

Subscribe!

You can subscribe to Follow Your Curiosity via the handy links at the top of the page for Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeart Radio, TuneIn, and YouTube. If you enjoyed the episode, don’t forget to tell your friends!

Creative Commons License

Transcript: Elle Jaye

Please note: This is an unedited transcript, provided as a courtesy, and reflects the actual conversation as closely as possible. Please forgive any typographical or grammatical errors.

Nancy Norbeck [00:00:06]:
Welcome to Follow Your Curiosity. Ordinary people, extraordinary creativity. Here’s how to get unstuck. I’m your host, creativity coach, Nancy Norbeck. Let’s go. Elle Jaye supports powerful and resilient working moms who want to put an end to the power struggles with their child so they become a strong team instead of adversaries. The working moms realize they are women first, and mothering is another job they do. By disrupting this mindset, the women step into their power and resilience as an extension of their values and intent for their children.

Nancy Norbeck [00:00:41]:
Elle joins me to talk about how she discovered her creative side in her twenties, how we normalize and pass on relationship and parenting patterns, how we can see adults as atrophied children rather than seeing children as mini adults, and more. I think you’ll find a lot of food for thought in my conversation with Elle Jaye. Elle, welcome to Follow Your Curiosity.

Elle Jaye [00:01:05]:
Thank you so much, Nancy. I I really appreciate being here.

Nancy Norbeck [00:01:10]:
So I start everybody with the same question. Were you a creative kid, or did you discover your creative side later on?

Elle Jaye [00:01:18]:
I discovered my creative side later on.

Nancy Norbeck [00:01:23]:
So what did that look like for you?

Elle Jaye [00:01:27]:
I was an adult because as I grew up, creativity wasn’t, applauded or sought after. It was your brain, logic, science that is where I that’s where I was habituated, conditioned, into thinking and things like that. And we definitely listened to music, watched movies, different things like that. But as far as me being the creative one, I don’t think it would have gone over very well.

Nancy Norbeck [00:02:13]:
Were you aware of that as a kid, or did it just seem normal to you?

Elle Jaye [00:02:17]:
It was normal the way that we were habituated, like the science and the thinking and things like that. That was normal.

Nancy Norbeck [00:02:26]:
So then what happened when you started to discover that you had a a creative piece of yourself?

Elle Jaye [00:02:33]:
Well, I think that came with having children and being able to think about things in a different way. And then even to say even though we were not you know, I wasn’t artsy or anything like that, and I would tell myself I can’t draw. Like, why would I say that to myself? But, hey. That’s what we say. And then I just I don’t even know. Like, it it’s a wonderful question because you’re making me think right now.

Nancy Norbeck [00:03:15]:
If you don’t mind me asking, just because I’m terribly curious. So how old were you when when this happened? Roughly, if that’s easier.

Elle Jaye [00:03:24]:
Yeah. It would have to be a roughly I think I would say it was the late twenties into thirties.

Nancy Norbeck [00:03:31]:
Because it seems like that would be quite a shock.

Elle Jaye [00:03:36]:
Well, it wasn’t a tear I don’t Nancy, the thing you get to know about me is, I underestimate a lot of emotions and different things. So I I don’t I hadn’t put much stock into some things. And then, like, some life challenges happened, and then I got really into the emotions, because I was like, what are these? Kinda like creativity. You know? Like, what is this that’s happening? And recognizing I’ve had creativity all along with being able to problem solve

Nancy Norbeck [00:04:24]:
Mhmm.

Elle Jaye [00:04:24]:
And find different ways to do things. And just the way I would ponder and think about stuff and just try to be curious. The thing with my curiosity, though, is growing up, asking questions was, you know, like treason or something because you were challenging your parent. My I was challenging my parents. That’s how they saw it. But I was really just a curious person and wanted to understand how things worked.

Nancy Norbeck [00:04:59]:
That’s so interesting because curiosity is so fundamental to so much science and and logic and and all of that that you would think that that part would have been okay. You would think.

Elle Jaye [00:05:16]:
That’s okay. Phrase, isn’t it? Yeah. So you would think it would, but when you’re dealing with as an as a parent myself now, right, and looking back and putting myself in my parents’ shoes, what my parents decided to do was have a large family. K? My mom had over, eight children. K? So as an adult, if you have that many children coming with their curiosity and you have a busy day and you’re just the one person or you yeah. Sometimes A lot. Find a way to shut questions down.

Nancy Norbeck [00:06:06]:
That’s a lot. Yeah. So it’s not so much I’m anticuriosity as I’m desperate to preserve my sanity.

Elle Jaye [00:06:16]:
Yes. Yeah. I believe that is how I would say that it happened for for my parents.

Nancy Norbeck [00:06:23]:
Yeah. So what happened when you suddenly realized, hey. There is this deeply curious piece of me that has always been interested in problem solving, and and maybe I am interested in trying to draw something or, you know, playing the music instead of just listening to it or or however that came up. What what came along with that for you?

Elle Jaye [00:06:48]:
What came along was the ability to color. Just pulling out a coloring book, matte colors, and just saying, I just wanna escape into creating this picture in a way that works for me. Mhmm. You know? And that’s that’s what I did. That was my way of, I guess, escape. I don’t know. Escape may not be the right word, but relaxing. Mhmm.

Elle Jaye [00:07:17]:
Something that’s my bliss from the standpoint of, like, the thinking that I would do, the problem solving that I would do, to just being able to just put colors on a page.

Nancy Norbeck [00:07:30]:
Yeah. Yeah. Kinda like I’ve used this half of my brain even though I know that that whole left side, right side thing is not quite so in vogue anymore. But for the sake of argument, I’ve used this half of my brain for years, and now I wanna switch it off a little bit and play with the other side. Because now I realize I have the other side.

Elle Jaye [00:07:55]:
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. It is a definite thing.

Nancy Norbeck [00:08:00]:
So since this happened around the time you had kids, did that turn into something that you did with your kids?

Elle Jaye [00:08:08]:
I did it around them, and the thing that was interesting is both of my children love math, and they are on the creative side. I didn’t that that was foreign to me. Mhmm. And with that being as foreign as it is as it was, it was hard to kinda relate to them because they were doing things that I that was not exactly my strength or my forte. And I was like, well, the best I could do pencil, paper. Here we go. Because one of them loves to build, like, bought, bought the magnets and create she created such lavish structures that stood. And I’m like, you’re getting this thing to stand? And it wasn’t I mean, it was, like, you know, a foot and a half off the ground with these magnets that she was using to build with.

Elle Jaye [00:09:25]:
And I’m just like, oh, this is amazing. And it wasn’t just square. It was a hexa like hexagons. Mhmm. Almost dodecahedrons and everything else. And I’m like, woah. But that’s what she was doing.

Nancy Norbeck [00:09:43]:
It’s amazing when you watch kids do things and you’re just going, I didn’t know about that as a kid, and it’s mystifying to me, but also so cool. Like, I’m in awe, and I’m jealous all at the same time.

Elle Jaye [00:09:57]:
Right. And it’s like, you get it from me. You get it from me somewhere. And what I found out was my mother’s dad, He was really good at math. But in being, like, a sharecropper, he didn’t have, like, a formal education. And my uncle was sharing with me how he was able to cut their the house that he built, he was able to cut it in half and move it and put it back together again. And I’m sitting here like, what? And, yeah, that’s what I’m thinking. Yeah.

Elle Jaye [00:10:47]:
And I’m just and he said that, my grandfather didn’t know how to read, but my grandmother did. So she would read what needed to be read, and they worked it together. And they were able to transport their home. Wow. I mean,

Nancy Norbeck [00:11:09]:
I think the cutting it in half part is even more mind blowing to

Elle Jaye [00:11:12]:
me than the picking it up and moving it part. Right.

Nancy Norbeck [00:11:16]:
I’ve heard of that part before. The cutting it in half, though, is a whole other level.

Elle Jaye [00:11:23]:
Yes. And and mind you, I don’t have full context because the time in which this was done, I, of course, I wasn’t living. You know? Right. And, again, they as, you know, sharecroppers and different things like that, there’s so many aspects of that part of their lives that I don’t have context for. But to hear it, it was like, man, I really wish he I would have known him, more, but he passed, I think, when I was, like, eight years old.

Nancy Norbeck [00:12:00]:
Wow. Yeah. The questions that you wish you could have asked as an adult that you didn’t know to ask when you were eight. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Wow. It’s I’m I’m gonna be thinking about cutting houses in half for a while now.

Elle Jaye [00:12:18]:
Right. Right. Right.

Nancy Norbeck [00:12:20]:
So where did you go from I’m gonna, you know, color for a while?

Elle Jaye [00:12:26]:
Well, from there, I just started going into looking at the different movies that we watched growing up and even some that, were off limits because of the rating. Mhmm. But I would hear my my parents watch them or whatever. And what I did from there was what my dad would do is he would, like, allow us to watch a movie. And then if there was a life lesson, he would pause the movie and give us the life lesson. So I continued that, aspect. And I know it’s that may not be as creative, but to me, it is because not only did I do that with the movie I was watching, I would tie it into other, into other aspects of life to not to be able to dig deeper, go deeper, and have that curiosity to tie it to something else and relate it to something else.

Nancy Norbeck [00:13:36]:
That’s so interesting because it you know, I was a an English lit major, and it strikes me as being so similar to what you do in an English lit class. You know, you you take that book and and you’re connecting it to so many other things and kind of sort of pulling it apart and putting it back together again and and seeing what all you can find in it in history and philosophy and in your own life. And so it it strikes me I I’d imagine if you majored in film studies, that’s what you would do there too. So it seems like that’s probably probably a very film studies sort of sort of thing that that you were doing. Did you are there particular connections that you came up with that stick with you?

Elle Jaye [00:14:21]:
A lot of the connections is relational. It’s just how people relate to each other. And, for example, my dad loved Andy Griffith. K. Loved the show. I can always hear the whistling theme song of rejection. Right? So I started watching it, and I’m looking at the show that everybody is applauding. And it’s like, oh, this is wholesome TV.

Elle Jaye [00:14:59]:
No. It’s not. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. No. It’s not. And I know someone would probably wanna cancel me for saying that because it is so much a part of what they had when they were growing up. Because, you know, selections were limited.

Elle Jaye [00:15:22]:
Mhmm. And I honor that, and I respect that. Okay? And I want to be able to say that now that I’m an adult looking back on that funny comedy sitcom, okay, which is what that was, that show rewarded a man who lied and manipulated people Mhmm. And then would say it was for their benefit. And the reason that sticks out for me is because that’s what I was told. We’re doing this for your benefit. But it seemed very it seemed that parents were very manipulative in not like a malicious kind of way, but, like, in the way of like, what I was saying earlier. In order to cut down and save their sanity

Nancy Norbeck [00:16:26]:
Mhmm.

Elle Jaye [00:16:26]:
They cut off the questions. Right? Mhmm. So and that was for their benefit in what they had the capacity to, to handle at the time. Right? So that’s the same thing that I’m seeing with the Andy Griffith show, is that they were doing that same thing. He was like so for Barney, he was inept, but he was also his cousin.

Nancy Norbeck [00:17:01]:
Right.

Elle Jaye [00:17:02]:
And in order for Barney not to know how ignorant, unlearned he was, and he would just let some stuff slide. And fast forward, we’ve got people still doing things like that to this day. And Floyd, the barber, he would say, Andy, I’m glad you’re on my side because I mean, he actually said it in one of the earlier episodes that Andy was so, like, episodes that Andy was so like, he was lying and cunning and different things like that. I’m like, he used the words. So, to describe the sheriff of the town. Wow.

Nancy Norbeck [00:17:49]:
It’s been a long time since I’ve watched Andy Griffith, I can tell you. I’m realizing as you’re telling me this.

Elle Jaye [00:17:55]:
And but the and so as I as I watched, mind you, I was watching it during a time where manipulation was prevalent in my life. And I was and because that was a area that I was healing, it was noticeable when it it yes. Whenever it was done, it was noticeable. Mhmm. So I’m sitting here watching this show after my dad passed away. K?

Nancy Norbeck [00:18:35]:
What timing?

Elle Jaye [00:18:37]:
And I’m like, oh, this is why you behave this way because you grew up thinking that it was okay.

Nancy Norbeck [00:18:48]:
Yes. Yes. This is this is reminding me of a couple of conversations that I’ve had with my mom in the last couple years and, you know, about that that same kind of generational difference. You know? Like, that her generation was not raised with any real kind of emotional awareness because, you know, I mean, she’s she’s a baby boomer. She’s an early baby boomer. You know? So so back then, you know, it was that whole thing where, good lord, if you talked about an emotion, there might be something wrong with you. You might have to go see somebody about that. And that meant there was something really wrong with you, and so you weren’t gonna talk about that at all, which meant that that entire generation has no vocabulary to talk about how they feel about things.

Nancy Norbeck [00:19:46]:
So when those emotions come up and bubble over and something’s wrong, they have no good way to deal with it. So it comes out in ways that are not helpful, that make problems worse unless they’re super lucky and stumble by accident onto a good way of saying something. And it’s not their fault. They don’t know any better. I mean, you can argue that they’ve had however many years to go fix this. But but, fundamentally, they they were not originally taught any better. Right. So so there’s there’s kind of both of those pieces here.

Nancy Norbeck [00:20:25]:
And, you know, I mean, I’m Gen x, so I wasn’t really raised a whole lot better. It’s just that my generation figured out, hey. We can go do something about this. You know? And some of us have done that. Some of us haven’t. And then, you know, we hope that with the millennials and the Gen z’s and everything that it’s starting to become more and more normalized. Because when you have the words and the understanding and the awareness to actually have a mature rational conversation about what’s going on, good lord, imagine, it goes better.

Elle Jaye [00:21:00]:
It it goes way better. It goes way better. And it is because at a lot of times, Nancy, what happens is there’s lots of blame, shame, and guilt provoking vocabulary that goes around. Right. Instead of an understanding that this is how this generation was habituated Right. And leave the judgment to the side. And by leaving the judgment to the side, we get to share with them ways of meeting them where they are. Right? Mhmm.

Elle Jaye [00:21:46]:
The unfortunate thing for me is both my parents are gone. They’re deceased. And I and at the time, there was no meeting them where they were. They created me, and I learned through observation and through their teaching how to be in this world. Right? Mhmm. And then became an adult myself and was stumbling along, trying to figure it out, discovering, and naming things that were not named when I was younger. Because you are correct. When it came to emotions, the what I was habituated to was there’s laughter and happiness, and just being.

Elle Jaye [00:22:41]:
And then there’s anger and sadness, but that was only reserved for the adult.

Nancy Norbeck [00:22:47]:
I knew you were gonna say that.

Elle Jaye [00:22:50]:
I knew

Nancy Norbeck [00:22:50]:
you were gonna say that, and I wouldn’t have been surprised if you’d said that it was reserved for your dad.

Elle Jaye [00:22:56]:
Yeah.

Nancy Norbeck [00:22:56]:
Because I think a lot of the time

Elle Jaye [00:22:58]:
Yeah. My mom could cry, but she couldn’t be angry in front of my dad. She could be angry with us without my dad present, but it would it was those were dad emotions. And crying definitely was off the table when it came to my dad’s. Like, why are you crying?

Nancy Norbeck [00:23:16]:
Yeah. And I’ll bet you, if you went back and watched Andy Griffith, that’s what you would see on there because that’s how it was normalized. Right? That’s it was it was what everybody thought was normal, so it went on to the show. And then it was renormalized through the show. And so everybody grew up and thought, well, this is just how people get along.

Elle Jaye [00:23:34]:
Mhmm. And you can see how the arts and the creative genres can impact a person’s real life. Like, even the books that we read. I love Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys. Mhmm. Ramona, all of those. Babysitter’s Club. I even and then I love, like, I love, love, love, love Wuthering Heights.

Elle Jaye [00:24:10]:
Just love it. And then I do like Shakespeare as well. Kenneth Branagh really I was like, dude, where were you when I was in high school? So because, actually, it was when I was in high school that I, we had an assignment to watch Much Ado About Nothing, and that became my favoritest.

Nancy Norbeck [00:24:39]:
Oh, yeah.

Elle Jaye [00:24:39]:
And it and it was also quite helpful that there were people in it that like Keanu Reeves Uh-huh. Denzel Washington. Who else? Those were the main two that I remember that had, like, notoriety, you know, at the time that that movie came out. So I was like, oh, these people like it? Cool. And and it was an assignment to watch while we were in while I was in high school, and I loved it. Yeah. Loved it. And the way he talk, I I just love it.

Elle Jaye [00:25:14]:
So yes.

Nancy Norbeck [00:25:16]:
Yeah. Yeah. I’m a huge Shakespeare nerd myself. So though, I have to say, as much as it makes me feel like a heretic, and I still love that version. But if you get the chance to see the much ado with David Tennant and Catherine Tate, I cannot recommend it enough. So just just a little tip for anybody else who hasn’t seen that one. It’s fantastic. The the physical comedy is just unbelievable.

Nancy Norbeck [00:25:45]:
So so yeah. But, like, all of that stuff, you know, it’s it’s funny because there’s there’s a show that I have watched on Netflix, and I don’t think it’s on there anymore, that it was a a Hallmark show. So it’s not it’s not, like, great cinema or anything, but it was called The Good Witch. And one of the things that I really liked about it was that it showed a really healthy, respectful adult relationship. It was there was plenty of drama, but it was drama, like, with the nosy mayor in town, you know, or, you know, some other situation with the people who were coming to stay at the B and B that they owned or whatever. It was not interpersonal, we’re fighting all the time kind of stuff. Like, they, you know, they might have a disagreement about something, but they handled it like mature adults. And I thought, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a TV show.

Nancy Norbeck [00:26:40]:
Now in my defense, I haven’t watched a whole lot of TV in years and especially network TV, so I can’t speak to what’s been out there. But but I was just like, wow. This is, like, what a relationship really should ideally work like, and it’s not perfect, but it’s getting there. Like like, wow. It can work like this? Mhmm. And and so that was really kind of enlightening and encouraging for me. Like, okay. It doesn’t have to be people, you know, getting upset with each other and not wanting to talk about it and being stubborn, and I’m no.

Nancy Norbeck [00:27:19]:
Not I’m gonna pretend everything’s okay. You know, all of the usual things that that build drama in our lives and generally on TV. And I was like, wow. Look at that. People can actually communicate in a way that is sane.

Elle Jaye [00:27:35]:
Right. Yeah. Who knew? Go figure. And and with and with that, I the more I’m sitting here talking to you about this creativity, I think creativity’s bit like, the arts have been in my life longer than what I gave it credit. You know? Because watching movies and TV shows as a family was a connection point Mhmm. To where that was the, that was the way that art was allowed. And then if we had, like, a school project, okay. You know? Okay.

Elle Jaye [00:28:27]:
You know? But it wasn’t like, it wasn’t this it was almost like an understanding that to be artsy, musically inclined kinda thing, was only accepted as an escape, but not as a way to bring money into your home. So I think that would be a way that I can describe how it was, because, again, we watched a lot. And the like, as you were talking about the Good Witch, what came to mind for me was The Cosby Show Mhmm. From the eighties because the conflict wasn’t between the parents. It was between the parents and the children and all of the different situations that arose there. And that was beneficial to me because by seeing a family that looked like mine

Nancy Norbeck [00:29:34]:
Mhmm.

Elle Jaye [00:29:35]:
Of a successful woman working outside the home because that’s not where I my mom worked inside the home with as many children as we had. And then the dad also working outside the home, but yet he was just down in the basement. So he was more at home than mom. Like, if you really think about it, he was really and truly there closer to home, and able to deal with some of the day to day things than the mom was. And I was like, man, that is something I’d love to be able to have, to be able to work outside the home where both adults’ parents are successful. They have their own lives where they can travel and leave the kids where, you know, where they are kind of thing sometimes. And there’s grandparents that can help take care of them. So I was like, oh, I’d like that.

Elle Jaye [00:30:34]:
That is not what happened in my life, but, it was good to see that vision of something that is possible. And that is the beauty of art. It shows you what’s possible. And even with the drawn art, for somebody, it may look like scribbles. But for someone else, it can evoke calm. Mhmm.

Nancy Norbeck [00:31:04]:
You know, when you talk about The Cosby Show, what immediately popped into my head was when there was a conflict between the parents and the kids, they would call a family meeting and have a rational conversation or mostly rational, at least Mhmm. Conversation about it. And I remember watching that going, wow.

Elle Jaye [00:31:24]:
That’s possible? That’s possible?

Nancy Norbeck [00:31:27]:
Really? You could do that? You know? I mean, that whole concept was just just totally mind blowing to me.

Elle Jaye [00:31:36]:
And what made it so mind blowing to you also?

Nancy Norbeck [00:31:41]:
I had never seen anything like that in a family. Never seen anything like that. You know, it was always mom and dad were basically the dictators in the little family fiefdom. And if you screwed up, their their decision was swift, you know, and probably kind of punitive to whatever degree they dictated in that moment based on how angry they were was was necessary. You may or may not have gotten much of a say in your own defense, and you were, you know, banished to your room with or without dinner, with or without whatever privileges they decided you weren’t gonna have for whatever period of time, and you basically went off and, you know, sulked for whatever period of time and, you know, felt the requisite level of shame and embarrassment and all of that. And that was that was the appropriate response to the situation. So the idea that it did not have to be that way Mhmm. Was just like I mean, I’m sure that some of those family meetings still resulted in some guilt and shame and grounding and whatever because it’s been a long time since I’ve seen that show.

Nancy Norbeck [00:33:00]:
But with at least some understanding and some discussion about why that was the decision that was being made and, you know, all of that rather than handed down by Fiat because dad’s angry today.

Elle Jaye [00:33:16]:
Right. Yeah. And as you talk about that, it’s the similar situation, for my experience as well, which is if you made a mistake, you were branded by that mistake, and seen as, like, not trustworthy. There was no, making it up kinda thing, and there had to be some sort sort of show of contrition

Nancy Norbeck [00:33:48]:
Mhmm.

Elle Jaye [00:33:50]:
And things like that. And, you know, I’m just like, all of that, and then you become an adult, and it can stay with you. And then you could also do the same thing to your children Because it’s all you need. Yeah. Not knowing that, hey. That mess was not healthy. Because I’ve heard so many parents say, look at me. I turned out fine.

Nancy Norbeck [00:34:18]:
Oh, man. I have heard that so many times. And I’m like, every time I hear that, I’m like, no. You didn’t. And I know you didn’t because you just said that.

Elle Jaye [00:34:28]:
So much hiding Yeah. Of about, like, all of that. There’s just so much hiding.

Nancy Norbeck [00:34:36]:
And the people who say that the most are the ones who were spanked as kids.

Elle Jaye [00:34:41]:
Mhmm.

Nancy Norbeck [00:34:42]:
I was hit, and I’m fine. No. You’re not.

Elle Jaye [00:34:44]:
No. You’re not. There’s some things you haven’t addressed from those consequences. And a lot of people will say, well, the Bible say it. Oh, lord. Spare the rods. Boil the child. K.

Elle Jaye [00:35:05]:
So there is truth to consequences for behaviors. Right? There’s there’s always some sort of consequence. And when you balance that scripture with another scripture that tells, people tells parents not to provoke your child.

Nancy Norbeck [00:35:39]:
See, they they don’t wanna remember that one.

Elle Jaye [00:35:41]:
No. They don’t. They don’t. And, but the wonderful thing is my mother, what we would do is we would have what we would call prayer every night when my dad wasn’t home. And she would read that scripture that said it because it starts, children, obey your parents in the Lord because this is right. You know? It’s the first commandment with promise. And then it would then it went into parents, don’t provoke your children to rat. And she would read it all.

Elle Jaye [00:36:18]:
And I now that I’m an adult, I’m like, thank you. Because she didn’t cherry pick.

Nancy Norbeck [00:36:24]:
Mhmm.

Elle Jaye [00:36:25]:
She didn’t cherry pick for her own benefit. You know? And I I’m just not a fan when people misuse scripture, literature out of context. Yeah. In order to make a point, in a way that is damaging to another human, and taking away their free will, taking away their identity. That’s like, no. That’s the last thing you wanna do to a person. And yeah. So the whole punishment punitive, No.

Elle Jaye [00:37:15]:
That’s just not how we we get to do that. We can shift, and we can change.

Nancy Norbeck [00:37:19]:
Yeah. There are there are so many better ways to do things. And, you know, I think, oh, now I’m trying to remember the quote. You know, there there’s the idea that, I’m gonna screw this up. You know, there there are some people who who view children as mini adults, which isn’t really accurate as we know. Right? There’s, like, there’s so much going on inside that little brain, and it’s Mhmm. Pulling in so much information. It’s it’s like a sponge that is it’s absorbing everything while it’s building itself.

Elle Jaye [00:38:07]:
Mhmm.

Nancy Norbeck [00:38:07]:
So you gotta, you know, kind of be careful what all you put in there, whether it’s capable of handling it while it’s building itself. Right? So so the idea that children are just mini adults and should be treated like adults is not correct. But there is, there’s a there’s a guy named Keith Johnstone who was a a theater kind of, what’s the right word for him? He wrote a book in the seventies called Impro that was sort of like the the bible of improv. Mhmm. And a lot of it, he talks about unlearning all of the things that you’ve been taught because they keep you from doing improv well. So it’s a great book on creativity. But but he talks about how instead of thinking that, you know, children are are many adults, that adults are atrophied children. And and so, you know, we’ve we’ve lost the abilities that we were born with because we’ve been trained and taught out of them.

Nancy Norbeck [00:39:14]:
And so, like, that’s why you have to you know, when you go to an improv class, you have to learn to get out of your own way in order to improv well, to improvise well. Mhmm. And and so it’s like we we think of all of these things in in this backwards way.

Elle Jaye [00:39:34]:
Mhmm.

Nancy Norbeck [00:39:35]:
And then, you know, we expect kids to be more mature than they are, and we think that we’re, you know, more mature than, I think, a lot of times we actually are. You know, we come up with these these combinations whereas, like, you know, if a kid screws up, they’re capable of understanding that they screwed up if you are capable of explaining it to them in terms that they understand. Mhmm. You know? Like, it’s if you if you treat a kid like they should know better when they have no way to know better, you’re gonna consistently be disappointed. But if you remember that a kid is not actually a mini adult, but that you can get down on their level and that actually, you were once a kid too, and you’re actually an atrophied child yourself, then, you know, again, it’s it’s that that vocabulary and the, you know, the communication level. I’ve I’ve seen my brother and my sister-in-law do this with my nephews when they were smaller, and I remember just watching them. You know? Like, the kid’s three, and you’re out pruning the trees, and they pick up the pruning shears. And, you know, obviously, you don’t want the three year old to have the pruning shears for reasons you don’t need to explain to yourself.

Nancy Norbeck [00:40:56]:
But when you take the pruning shears from the three year old and they start to bawl their brains out, you need to explain it to the three year old. And it doesn’t have to be complicated. Right? It can just be, I know I’m sorry you’re upset, but these are really, really dangerous, and I need to make sure you don’t hurt yourself. It will get you something else that you can play with. And when you’re old enough, you can use the pruning shears. You know? It doesn’t have to be a dissertation because the kid’s three, But you can explain it in terms that they can understand so that it’s not just you took the thing from me and maybe I was bad, and now I’m very upset.

Elle Jaye [00:41:39]:
Right. And I like that example, because when when we think back to growing up with the parents that we were blessed to have, They that, again, that generation, has a tendency to talk at you and say, you know better what’s wrong with you. Mhmm. I told you already, and and why don’t you remember you don’t have this and you don’t have that. I mean, it was like, no wonder so many people have a hard time accomplishing things because the people who brought them in this world spoke down so negatively to them and created wounds, which is trauma, which created wounds in these children who became the atrophied adults, who repeated patterns because that’s what they saw. And they have you know, they continue that pattern from generation to generation unless somebody says, nope. I’m done. And I’m gonna do the work to stop thinking that way, being that way, and do something different with with my my own children or my own family because I’m tired of that.

Elle Jaye [00:43:11]:
And that is actually something that that I myself have done. And it’s a it’s a definite challenge to do something like that. And so I love how you said, Keith Johnstone? Yep. Okay. I actually wrote his name down because I want to find that quote about the atrophy adults because my children this is hilarious. This is hilarious. My child is talking to me about what they have experienced in seeing between me and their dad. And they said, y’all need to stop what behaving like children.

Elle Jaye [00:44:12]:
And it’s like, do you not even understand that you just insulted yourself with that statement. But at the same time, Keith Johnstone is correct. Adults are atrophy children. Yeah. And I was when I was a child, I was like, man, I’m I I almost had, like, a Peter Pan syndrome. I’m not gonna grow up. I’m gonna always remember what it’s like to be a child because I don’t want my children to I don’t wanna be so disconnected from being a child that I treat my children the way my parents treated me.

Nancy Norbeck [00:44:55]:
Yeah. That’s, like, such a teenage thing. Right?

Elle Jaye [00:44:58]:
Yeah. I think I was probably younger than that. And it with that thinking, the issue is I don’t have context about what it means to be an adult

Nancy Norbeck [00:45:12]:
Right. Right.

Elle Jaye [00:45:13]:
When I make that statement. And then when you become an adult, there’s a reason why some of those childish ways have to be put to the side. One, your brain is actually developing into into some higher functioning. But and the responsibilities and the ability to manage and have the capacity to to deal with challenges and have fun. A lot of people are like, I don’t have mental capacity for both of these things. Mhmm. So which one goes to the wayside? The fun. Uh-huh.

Elle Jaye [00:45:58]:
Because we’ve got to be able to protect ourselves financially, emotionally, socially. Then we’re bringing additional lives into this world, and that’s another layer of responsibility. And you think control, but you don’t control those little be those living beings that come out of your body. You’re in charge of them, but you don’t control them. And for somebody to tell me that there was a difference, and thank goodness for ChattGPT, I I did even further diving into that and was like, oh, these dots are connecting, for because I was a controller. I wanted to control my children because that’s what was done to me. Mhmm. You know? And I feel like I’m, like, jumping around here in this conversation, but it all ties together in that as adults, we because of the way we were raised as children, that impacts how we become adults.

Elle Jaye [00:47:04]:
Yes. And we’re like, okay. Well, we see our parents aren’t having fun. Mhmm. I guess that’s what I can do when I become an adult. I I I can’t have fun anymore, which is why there’s a Peter Pan. Yeah. Like, I don’t wanna grow up.

Elle Jaye [00:47:26]:
I don’t want to be this adult who cannot play, who cannot laugh Mhmm. And not just have fun because there’s so much going on.

Nancy Norbeck [00:47:38]:
Yeah.

Elle Jaye [00:47:38]:
And I was, I was thinking I watched Hook, you know, the Dustin Hoffman, Robin Williams first. Okay? And I was thinking about it the other day where, Pan, the adult Pan, was fighting sword fighting with captain Hook. And he said, I I remember you being a lot taller than this. And then captain Hook was like, to a 10 year old, I’m huge. Yeah. So it really is about perspectives.

Nancy Norbeck [00:48:19]:
Mhmm.

Elle Jaye [00:48:20]:
So when we grow up and we revisit a thing that we like, Peter Pan fought Hook when he was a child. Yeah. Now fast forward, he’s an adult and captain Hook’s an adult, and he’s fighting him. And he’s like in his mind, he’s like, you were so much bigger. And which means he kept him big in his head. Mhmm. Even though he was also now big, he kept captain Hook at probably that same proportion in his mind, to where it robbed Pan of recognizing his power and learning from what how he experienced captain Hook. And and and doing that, it robbed him of his resilience and his power.

Elle Jaye [00:49:14]:
But once you have you’re able to revisit and fight and deal with a thing, then you are able to say, hey. It’s not as bad as what I think or what I thought.

Nancy Norbeck [00:49:31]:
And

Elle Jaye [00:49:34]:
that’s where creativity helps adults. Yeah. Because it helps you be able to put things into a perspective That you didn’t think was there before.

Nancy Norbeck [00:49:55]:
Mhmm. And

Elle Jaye [00:50:03]:
example from my own life. My daughters were going at it this past weekend, and I’m like, oh my gosh. This sounds like who is that in the kitchen? Is that me? It’s like, wait a minute. I’m upstairs. And so I was like, oh, shit. I taught like, my children learned that behavior from me. And so I got to learn, like, the result, the outcome of my way of being and how they picked it up. And so I was able to come downstairs and calmly, you know, not raise my voice to match theirs because then they’ll be like, oh, well, you’re still the same yelling person, but I didn’t.

Elle Jaye [00:50:59]:
And I was like, hey. Let’s leave this space and go to a different space and have a conversation and things like that. And then in order for them to connect the dots to what I was talking about, we watched this show, Modern Family. Mhmm. And in that show, one of the one of the mothers, she’s a type a personality, and her husband is not. K? He’s more, I don’t know what the opposite of that is. But, anyway, so anytime he’s telling a story and he’s being long winded, she’ll go bloop bloop in order to make him fast forward and get to the point. Yeah.

Elle Jaye [00:51:45]:
Ain’t that rude? That’s like Uh-huh. Well, you know, they have children. And so her oldest daughter, when she started dating, got got to that age to date a guy, her the guy that she was dating was taking a long time, and she was like, bloop bloop. And I was like, oh my god. So and I’m like, ladies, we’ve seen this show. That lets you know that it’s it’s so prevalent that they put it in a show that children pick up what their parents do. Mhmm. Knowingly or unknowingly, it happens.

Nancy Norbeck [00:52:22]:
Yeah.

Elle Jaye [00:52:25]:
So I said and I feel like I’m not gonna feel guilty or anything like that for what’s happened. I’m just pointing it out to you and and letting you know, like, hey. I’m not the same person. I am actually shifting the energy in this house so that you guys will have a different example to to pull from to where you can say, not only did can my mother shift how she is showing up in the world, I can too. And then they can build that muscle at an earlier age. Yeah. That is what we get to do to where they don’t have to be the Peter Pan fighting the adult captain hook.

Nancy Norbeck [00:53:14]:
Mhmm.

Elle Jaye [00:53:14]:
They can have the tools and resources to where they’re good. They don’t have to wait till adulthood to then realize, hey. You know, you were much bigger. I remember you being bigger. When they get to adulthood, they get to say, no. Even though you’re an adult, I’m an adult. We’re I’m, you know, I can fight you, and they can have that power, have that resilience real time.

Nancy Norbeck [00:53:45]:
Yeah. And sometimes that awareness is all it takes. You pointing it out may have been enough to just kind of install the stop sign in their heads. But there’s there’s another thing that that you mentioned in in there that that I thought was so interesting because it’s that that perception that when you’re overloaded and you have all of these things to worry about, that the fun has to go away.

Elle Jaye [00:54:09]:
It doesn’t have to, but we choose for it to

Nancy Norbeck [00:54:12]:
choose to it because we think that it’s not important. Yeah. But but, boy, I’ll tell you, when we when we lose the fun, because it’s not it’s not just the fun. It’s the play, and the play is what gives us the the resilience and and and the the ability to keep ourselves from landing in that judgmental perfect space all the time.

Elle Jaye [00:54:40]:
Mhmm.

Nancy Norbeck [00:54:40]:
And if that goes away, then it’s much more likely that we’re gonna be more harsh with ourselves, which means we’re gonna be more harsh with everybody else because we’re gonna suddenly be seeing all the flaws and all of the things that aren’t perfect, and and that always comes with more judgment. And when we judge ourselves more harshly, we judge everybody else more harshly too. So, you know, the idea that fun and play are optional is not actually grounded in reality. It’s grounded in a false perception.

Elle Jaye [00:55:14]:
Mhmm.

Nancy Norbeck [00:55:15]:
It’s it’s literally the basis of the Make Bad Art course that I teach, and and that is, like, the whole the biggest thing that comes out of it is a better relationship with yourself because your inner critic learns how to shut up and let you go do what you wanna do, and your relationships improve with yourself, with other people. And you just start having more fun as a matter of course Right. Because you’re not being so hard on yourself all the time. So your, you know, your relationships with your kids are you’re just much more easygoing. You can listen better. It just—it’s a laundry list. It’s a great laundry list, but it just it makes everything better. So if you think that you have to let the fun and the play out of your life because all of these other things are more important, I really encourage you to consider the possibility that the fun and the play make all of those other things easier to handle.

Elle Jaye [00:56:15]:
They I amen, sister. Like, I’m over here just, like, about to bust. Because when, like, I love the connect like, connecting the dots was also one of my favorite things to do, in the the little books that we would get when we were like, the highlights and all of that. I loved connect the dots and find the, find the object in those pictures. So when you were talking about play and the building of resilience and things like that, it made me think of comedy because comedians take some serious heavy shit and make you laugh. Yes. Okay? And the and by taking the the pain, those heavy emotions, it’s like it lifts it off, and it’s like it’s a universal theme that people can just laugh at. Mhmm.

Elle Jaye [00:57:30]:
And then when you’re laughing at it, you’re, like, shaking Yes. All of the tension out of your body. And as you’re shaking that tension out of your body, then your brain actually becomes clearer.

Nancy Norbeck [00:57:46]:
Mhmm.

Elle Jaye [00:57:47]:
And then with your brain becoming clearer, that’s where the possibilities exist because you’ve released energy that out of your body that does not help you.

Nancy Norbeck [00:58:02]:
Yeah.

Elle Jaye [00:58:03]:
And, right right along so that energy is like the judgment that you were talking about, that inner critic of self and then others. And with play, it’s indirect lesson building.

Nancy Norbeck [00:58:19]:
Yes.

Elle Jaye [00:58:20]:
Because you can sit down, color, watch a show, knit, play a board game, all of those things in the name of fun. Play basketball outside. Go skating. And every single one of those things has a lesson in you. Mhmm. And but you’re having fun while you do it. And, for example, there was one day I was like, oh, I need to get outside and walk more. So I’m going for a walk, and then I’m noticing that I’m looking down at the sidewalk.

Elle Jaye [00:59:11]:
And then I was like, wait a minute. This is a beautiful day. The sun is out. There’re wispy clouds. There’s birds in the sky. Why am I looking down Mhmm. Limiting myself when I can look up and be able to see a vast expanse of trees and birds and nature around me and a sky that goes up higher than my head rather than looking down and being so stuck in what’s immediate. So that was a lesson in so many things.

Elle Jaye [01:00:06]:
But for me, it’s like, how am I present to the possibilities, which is looking up at the sky and seeing everything that’s there? Or am I stuck and limiting myself by just looking at a ground that goes for a distance and has sharps, has turns and ups and downs. Whereas if I were to look up in the sky, I can see further Mhmm. And think so much better Yeah. And see all the variety.

Nancy Norbeck [01:00:49]:
It’s amazing how we do that, and we don’t even realize it most of the time.

Elle Jaye [01:00:53]:
No. But just getting out of the four walls because, you know, in working from home and things like that, you can you feel stuck. Mhmm. You know? And then you’re just like, wait a minute. I was habituated to being inside because of a pandemic. Now I can go outside, but I’m not going outside, but I really want to go outside. And that’s how easily we can be conditioned to where we’re like, oh, wait a minute. What how long have I been here? Because it became normal.

Elle Jaye [01:01:30]:
Yes. It became normal. And so we get to force ourselves out.

Nancy Norbeck [01:01:37]:
Yes. We do. Yes. We do.

Elle Jaye [01:01:41]:
Mhmm. So, I mean, this has just been, like, so much fun, Nancy, and I don’t want it to end. I know.

Nancy Norbeck [01:01:51]:
I was just thinking this is probably a good place to stop, and yet, I feel like we could keep going for a while. But but we are about in an hour, so it probably is the right place to call it done.

Elle Jaye [01:02:03]:
Yes. So and as we call it done, what I just thank you for this possibility, this conversation to explore the possibility through creativity. Because in starting with that question, I had a perception of how creativity was in my life, and was like, oh, my dad is just so strict. But he put art in a particular place. Right? Because as an African American male, he wanted to set his children up for success. Mhmm. And what he knew was you’ve got to have one of those degrees web. And for him, it was like, you can be a doctor or a lawyer because those are the positions that get respect.

Elle Jaye [01:02:59]:
Yeah. And I, you know, I see his heart in what he was doing, and his intent. It didn’t land the way he he meant it to.

Nancy Norbeck [01:03:16]:
Yeah.

Elle Jaye [01:03:17]:
And but I get to take the lessons that did land Yes. And learn from the ones that didn’t and be able to continue to escape into my coloring book, escape into, movies, and find the lessons that he taught me how to find in things in an indirect and playful way. And he was a funny man. You know? He he he had a sense of humor, as well. So and I love comedy. I love just being able to think, and I thank both of my parents for that. And I thank my mom for me being able to use and use and recognize the Bible as a sacred text yet also a book that has lessons in it.

Nancy Norbeck [01:04:17]:
Well and that’s a great legacy from both of them. And I really appreciate you coming and sharing it with us today. There’s so much rich stuff in this conversation, and I hope people will really take a lot from it.

Elle Jaye [01:04:29]:
Thank you, Nancy.

Nancy Norbeck [01:04:31]:
That’s our show for this week. Thanks so much to Elle Jaye and to you. Elle’s links are in the show notes. I hope you’ll leave a review for this episode. There’s a link in your podcast app, and it is super easy and really makes a difference. If you enjoyed our conversation, please do share it with a friend. Thanks so much. If this episode resonated with you or if you’re feeling a little bit less than confident in your creative process right now, join me at the spark on Substack as we form a community that supports and celebrates each other’s creative courage.

Nancy Norbeck [01:05:03]:
It’s free, and it’s also where I’ll be adding programs for subscribers and listeners. The link is in your podcast app, so sign up today. See you there, and see you Follow Your Curiosity is produced by me, Nancy Norbeck, with music by Joseph McDade. If you like Follow Your Curiosity, please subscribe, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. And don’t forget to tell your friends. It really helps me reach new listeners.

Working Moms, Power Struggles, and Creative Liberation with Elle Jaye

Elle Jaye supports powerful and resilient working moms who want to put an end to the power struggles with their child, so they become a strong team instead of adversaries. The working moms realize they are women first, and mothering is another job they do. By disrupting this mindset, the women step into their power and resilience as an extension of their values and intent for their children. Elle joins me to talk about how she discovered her creative side in her 20s, how we normalize and pass on relationship and parenting patterns, how we can see adults as atrophied children rather than seeing children as mini adults, and more.

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Episode breakdown:

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00:00 Introduction

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04:24 Childhood curiosity suppressed, later recognized as problem-solving and questioning.

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08:00 Creativity awakens through coloring and relaxing with children.

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12:00 Daughters express creativity differently; family talents traced back generations.

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16:26 Watching movies as family sparks deeper curiosity and connection.

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20:10 Analyzing shows reveals generational patterns, manipulation, and emotional awareness gaps.

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24:39 Parenting styles shaped by media; Cosby Show inspires new possibilities.

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28:27 Realizing art and creativity were present through connection and escapism.

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32:00 Family meetings on TV offered models for healthy communication.

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36:41 Adults repeat childhood patterns unless they intentionally choose to change.

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41:00 Children should not be seen as mini adults; generational shifts.

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46:00 Letting go of control, discovering healthy ways to parent.

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51:00 Play, fun, and creativity help shift negative energy and judgment.

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56:00 Awareness of presence, connecting with nature improves perspective and creativity.

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Want more? Here are handy playlists with all my previous interviews.

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If you enjoyed our conversation, I hope you’ll share it with a friend.

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Check out the full show notes (now including transcripts!) at fycuriosity.com, and connect with me and fellow creatives on Substack.

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Please leave a review for this episode—it’s really easy and will only take a minute, and it really helps me reach new listeners. Thanks!

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If you’ve been tearing up when you encounter other people’s art because you’ve lost touch with your own creativity, we should talk.

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Creative Pep Talk #109: Ignore It

Pep Talk Logo
Pep Talk Logo


In the wild, chaotic world of 2025, we tend to think we have to pay attention to EVERYTHING. Here’s why you might want to challenge that belief and ignore it instead.

Want more tips? Check out this playlist with all my previous Creative Pep Talks!

Could you leave a review? It’s really easy, and it helps SO much. Thanks!

Join my free creative community, The Spark! We celebrate each other’s creative courage, and I’ll be sharing programs for subscribers and listeners there in the coming months.

Get in Touch

I’d love to hear your feedback, questions, and experience with these ideas! Send me a note at fycuriosity.com, or contact me on Instagram, or Bluesky.

Subscribe!

You can subscribe to Follow Your Curiosity via the handy links at the top of the page for Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeart Radio, TuneIn, and YouTube. If you enjoyed the episode, don’t forget to tell your friends!

Creative Commons License

Transcript: Ignore It


Please note: This is an unedited transcript, provided as a courtesy, and reflects the actual conversation as closely as possible. Please forgive any typographical or grammatical errors.


Nancy Norbeck [00:00:06]:
Welcome to Follow Your Curiosity. Ordinary people, extraordinary creativity. Here’s how to get unstuck. I’m your host, creativity coach, Nancy Norbeck. Let’s go. Why don’t you just ignore it? Hi, I’m Nancy with this week’s Creative Pep Talk. And have you ever thought about what things you pay attention to and what things you don’t? It’s an interesting question, but the things that we give pay attention to are things that we give a lot of power to. We also don’t think about that. I was listening to Tosha Silver.

Nancy Norbeck [00:00:42]:
She’s an author recently, and she said there’s a lot of power in ignoring the things that deserve to be ignored. And it really hit me because a lot of us think we have to give our attention to everything. And in some situations we do, but in a lot of situations we don’t. Right? I mean, yes. When you are driving, please pay attention to traffic rules. When you’re with your kids, please pay attention to them. They know if you don’t. But you know, there were a lot of things that come up that don’t deserve our attention.

Nancy Norbeck [00:01:21]:
And it requires discernment on our part to start to figure out which things we can successfully leave by the wayside and which things we don’t have to. But in general, I would say if something is getting in your way and does not require your immediate attention or some sort of preventive attention, you might wanna see if it’s something that you can ignore. Right? If it’s a hot summer day and your air conditioning doesn’t work, you probably need to pay attention to that. But, you know, if it’s an email you got from someone who has annoyed you that doesn’t actually need an immediate response, it’s okay to ignore it, at least temporarily, maybe forever. Depends on what it is. Again, discernment is the key here. And I raised that one because I’m really good at thinking that I have to answer every single stinking email, because if I don’t, I will forget and they will pile up. And maybe that’s true, but maybe it isn’t.

Nancy Norbeck [00:02:34]:
You know, there are a lot of things that pop into your inbox that do not demand your attention right this second. There’s a lot of other stuff that falls into that category too. If you’re at work and your boss gives you something to do, does it have to be done right this second? Is it way, way, way down the priority list? Is it something that needs to happen right now? Maybe it is. But sometimes these are things that you don’t even really need to worry about or that you can ask to have delegated to somebody else so that you can focus on the things that are important. I know some workplaces don’t work that way. I get it, but it’s still worth asking the question to make sure that we are focusing on the things that really need our attention in any given moment. Especially in 2025, this is an attention economy. Do you really need to pay attention to your Instagram’s goal? There’s a difference between needing to and wanting to.

Nancy Norbeck [00:03:40]:
And even if you want to, it might not be something you wanna do as much as something else. Maybe it can be ignored while you go make some art yourself. Just some things to think about. There is power in deserving ignoring the things that deserve to be ignored. With all great respect to Tosha Silver for making that comment and bringing it to my attention. So just think about it. Think about what you really need to give your precious, precious valuable attention to and what you don’t. It might just make a difference in how you approach your life in general and also your creative practice.

Nancy Norbeck [00:04:21]:
Give it a shot. See you next time. If this episode resonated with you, or if you’re feeling a little bit less than confident in your creative process right now, join me at the spark on Substack as we form a community that supports and celebrates each other’s creative courage. It’s free, and it’s also where I’ll be adding programs for subscribers and listeners. The link is in your podcast app, so sign up today. See you there, and see you next week. Follow Your Curiosity is produced by me, Nancy Norbeck, with music by Joseph McDade. If you like Follow Your Curiosity, please subscribe, rate, and review

CPT #109: Ignore It

In the wild, chaotic world of 2025, we tend to think we have to pay attention to EVERYTHING. Here’s why you might want to challenge that belief.

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If you’re ready to reconnect with your creativity, join me on July 24 and 31, 2025, at 1pm ET as I lead the Pink Lady Posse Power Hour in a gentle hour of reconnection and rediscovery of your creative spirit. It’s free! Register here. You can attend one or both sessions, though the second will build on the first.

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Want more tips? Check out all my previous Creative Pep Talks in this playlist!

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Could you leave a review? It’s really easy, and it helps SO much. Thanks! 

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If you’d like to stay up to date on things like my courses and also get podcast and event updates, and my latest musings, subscribe to The Spark

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Imagination, Inspiration, and Creative Resilience with Lizzie Hopley

Lizzie Hopley
Lizzie Hopley
Lizzie Hopley


Actress and writer Lizzie Hopley was born in Liverpool and trained at RADA. As an actress, she has worked for the Royal Shakespeare Company and the Globe Theatre and recent screen work includes Black Doves and upcoming feature film Fackham Hall. As a writer, her radio sitcom Green won Pozzitive TV’s Funny Dot Comp 2021 and TV series Bloody Betty is currently in development. She has written and appeared in over 90 Big Finish audio adventures including Dark Shadows and Doctor Who, and her Doctor Who audio play The Curse of Lady Macbeth won the 2022 Scribe Award.

Lizzie joins me to talk about how her childhood love of writing and acting became a vocation, auditioning for RADA—twice—and how she ended up continuing to write even as a drama student, how learning to think of acting and writing as having a target changed her work, and a whole lot more.

Episode breakdown:

00:00 Lizzie Hopley shares her creative childhood and love for books.
04:56 Acting out movie scenes alone sparked early passion for performance.
08:45 Family encouraged storytelling, costumes, and imagination at home.
13:11 Difficulties pursuing creative careers; importance of following passion discussed.
17:33 University and RADA experiences shaped her acting and writing path.
22:24 Writing plays began due to lack of desired acting roles.
27:29 Rewriting and feedback are crucial for improving both crafts.
32:54 Learning to target audience while writing; acting versus writing focus.
37:22 Acting training emphasizes focusing on scene partner, not yourself.
43:48 Importance of editors and learning to kill your darlings.
48:21 Confidence and caring less about others’ opinions increases with age.
53:07 Acting and writing overlap at Big Finish; playing her own roles.
57:16 Big Finish’s community impact, creative freedom, and professional development.
01:02:18 Target books and early Doctor Who fandom as creative inspiration.
01:07:04 Embrace varied interests; open doors for yourself in creativity.

Show Links: Lizzie Hopley

Lizzie’s website

Facebook

Instagram

Subscribe!

You can subscribe to Follow Your Curiosity via the handy links at the top of the page for Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeart Radio, TuneIn, and YouTube. If you enjoyed the episode, don’t forget to tell your friends!

Creative Commons License

Transcript: Lizzie Hopley

Please note: This is an unedited transcript, provided as a courtesy, and reflects the actual conversation as closely as possible. Please forgive any typographical or grammatical errors.

Nancy Norbeck [00:00:06]:
Welcome to Follow Your Curiosity. Ordinary people, extraordinary creativity. Here’s how to get unstuck. I’m your host, creativity coach Nancy Norbeck. Let’s go. Actress and writer Lizzie Hopley was born in Liverpool and trained at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art. As an actress, she has worked for the Royal Shakespeare Company and the Globe Theatre, and recent screen work includes Black Doves and an upcoming feature film, Fakim Hall. As a writer, her radio sitcom, Green, won positive TV’s fuzzy.comp 2021, and TV series Bloody Betty is currently in development. She has written and appeared in over 90 Big Finish audio adventures, including Dark Shadows and Doctor Who, and her Doctor Who audio play, The Curse of Lady Macbeth, won the 2022 Scribe Award.

Nancy Norbeck [00:00:55]:
Lizzie joins me to talk about how her childhood love of writing and acting became a vocation, auditioning for RADA twice, and how she ended up continuing to write even as a drama student, how learning to think of acting and writing as having a target changed her work, and a whole lot more. I think you will really enjoy my conversation with Lizzie Hopley. Lizzie, welcome to Follow Your Curiosity.

Lizzie Hopley [00:01:21]:
Thank you. I’m so glad to be here after we met in it was eventually sunny LA, wasn’t it? It was raining when I arrived.

Nancy Norbeck [00:01:32]:
After the original downpour. Yes.

Lizzie Hopley [00:01:35]:
Oh, my goodness. Yeah.

Nancy Norbeck [00:01:36]:
Yes.

Lizzie Hopley [00:01:37]:
What a strange time.

Nancy Norbeck [00:01:39]:
Yes. After the fires came the deluge. So

Lizzie Hopley [00:01:43]:
Yeah. All pretty apocalyptic.

Nancy Norbeck [00:01:46]:
Right.

Lizzie Hopley [00:01:47]:
But then we spent I don’t know about you, but I spent three days pretty much underground in the world of Gallifrey One.

Nancy Norbeck [00:01:55]:
Yes. That is correct.

Lizzie Hopley [00:01:57]:
Pretty much of the sky, whatever it was doing.

Nancy Norbeck [00:02:00]:
I know. Everybody heard I was going to LA, and they were like, oh, you’ll be out in the sun. I’m like, nope.

Lizzie Hopley [00:02:06]:
Yeah. I took my husband for the first time. He’d never been to LA before. We went I I took him on a bit of a tour, you know, so he’d see the sign and all of that. Nah. Nah. He just saw a lot of clouds. Nope.

Lizzie Hopley [00:02:18]:
Didn’t see the sign.

Nancy Norbeck [00:02:19]:
Lots of clouds. It’s a

Lizzie Hopley [00:02:20]:
viewing platform. It looked like Manchester. We came back. That was it.

Nancy Norbeck [00:02:23]:
That’s it.

Lizzie Hopley [00:02:26]:
Aw.

Nancy Norbeck [00:02:28]:
So I start everybody with the same question. Were you a creative kid, or did you discover your creative side later on?

Lizzie Hopley [00:02:35]:
I was a ridiculously creative kid, and I’m so glad I was brought up in an age without mobile phones and technology. And we only had the three and then went to four channels excitingly when I was growing up on the telly. But, telly wasn’t even that massive when I was a kid. It was books, books, books. I’ve I’ve benefited from a mom who just was so into reading. And, while I was a child, she did an open university degree, which for a woman born and brought up in Toxteth in Liverpool was was unheard of. So the house is full of books, and I loved drawing, although I was rubbish at it. But that was what I I first did, just reading, reading, reading.

Lizzie Hopley [00:03:23]:
And I was such a spud with reading. I wasn’t just content with reading. I wrote book reviews of the books I read for, not in a kind of the way we understand review are now, as in, oh, I’m not sure about that, and that was a little bit. It was just, I read this book, it’s about this, and it’s brilliant because this, You know, I I wrote them for my local library so I could get these certificates for each one that I write. So, yeah, it was, that’s how I started. And you know how most people, Nancy, kind of I don’t know if you did you did the whole singing into an a a hairbrush to music when you’re in your in your bedroom. Mine was I had a a a record player, and I had a cassette player. And I had these cassettes of, like, Raiders of the Lost Ark and Star Wars, and it was just the soundtrack filled with narration with them bits and the black hole.

Lizzie Hopley [00:04:19]:
And I acted along to those. I did the hairbrush thing with music, but also I was acting. I mean, I had no idea that it was called acting. I didn’t know what it was. But if something was exciting and there was a story, I wanted to be in it. And so I would learn the words, I would mouth along to the action, and I would, in the tiniest bedroom, fight all the aliens and run away from the great big stone balls and and carry off the the golden idols and put myself in the star of every film. Yeah. And then realized that that was a whole profession that I would struggle to do as good as I did when I was 16.

Lizzie Hopley [00:04:56]:
Where?

Nancy Norbeck [00:04:59]:
So did your family encourage you, or did they just kind of say, yeah. Okay. Typical kid stuff, she’ll grow out of it. Or

Lizzie Hopley [00:05:06]:
I think it’s probably their fault, to be honest. I was, partly brought up by my nan as well because my dad my dad was in the Merchant Navy and, not always at home. And when my mom was working, she my nan would bring me up. And, of course, she had all the Liverpool stories that she turned into urban myths about our family members and things like that. So it was kind of ghost stories and fantasy and all stuff like that. And I would act out things with her. She would give me, you know, I would allow her to go through her drawers of clothes and put on her night dresses, and she played Prince Charming. And I’m actually somehow married to my own grandmother, I suppose, in a different universe.

Lizzie Hopley [00:05:50]:
But, you know, we we we make up these adventures, and she she was an amazing storyteller. And then my mom kind of inherited that as well for Halloween, you know, telling ghost stories. But that was always a a creative play and role playing and pretending to be other people. The world of imagination was a massive thing. You know, I wasn’t just read to. I was interacted with, you know, and and we didn’t just play with toys. We used our brains. We used our imagination, and I do think that’s getting rarer and rarer.

Lizzie Hopley [00:06:24]:
Mhmm. And then when my parents realized that I was wanting to be to do this acting thing, they tried to look in the local area and they found little drama groups that I could become part of. And my dad, when he was around, kind of did am dram with me in a local drama group. He did the backstage stuff, which he went on to do a lot of, actually. He really loved the theater. And when he was doing jobs abroad, he very often put on plays starring the kids of the people who were employing him or the, you know, the companies that that he was working for. And that’s crazy because he wrote a book about that a few years ago. We got that published.

Lizzie Hopley [00:07:02]:
And reading those things, I was thinking, there it is. It’s in my family. My mom was in a Ken Loach film before I was born. He did, I suppose, one of a Wednesday play type film called The Golden Vision about the Edison football team before around the time he was making the big flame, before he did flickering flame, and then, you know, started to make, proper films before Kes, basically. She was meant to be in Kes, but didn’t have an equity card. So, yeah, he found her in Woolworths. Working in the office in Woolworths, Ken Loach came in and said, who wants to be in a movie? And he auditioned a few people and got people to got some of the women to improvise. Not that my mom knew what that meant.

Lizzie Hopley [00:07:47]:
And she could just pretend to be a person in a scene, and he he used her. And she’s got quite a prominent role in one of his first films. So it it’s it was definitely there, but I don’t think any of us knew what it was. Nowadays, you know, they’d be like, oh, let’s get her an agent. You know? Let’s let’s have more of a clue. But in Liverpool, especially in Liverpool eight, no one wanted to be active. And I suppose I heard Stephen Graham on a podcast talking about this. He was on off menu quite recently talking about how he got into it.

Lizzie Hopley [00:08:18]:
And there was only there was a guy in his street, the actor who played Scully, I think, was a series in Liverpool, who was an actor. And that’s so so Stephen Graham saw him and went, oh, well, well, if he can do it, I can do it. And it all that’s all it takes is just seeing one other person do it or, you know, realizing it is an actual career that you can follow. But none of us knew that, I suppose, at the time. We were all just doing it because it was fun.

Nancy Norbeck [00:08:45]:
Right. Right. That’s how these things start. Right? I’m having fun.

Lizzie Hopley [00:08:49]:
Yeah. Absolutely. And if you’re in a house like you know, you were you were in a house with music and writing and books and, you know, and and you had that I love that thing you say in on your website that if you were if you had your mouth taped up in some kind of apocalyptic situation, if you if your keyboard or your pens are taken away from you, then then there would be no reason to live, but only until then. You know, and I’d listen to Desert Island Discs and people say, no, I couldn’t live without this, I couldn’t live without that. It’s it’s pens and paper, and then I’m happy. Yeah.

Nancy Norbeck [00:09:23]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Lizzie Hopley [00:09:25]:
Then I’m free.

Nancy Norbeck [00:09:26]:
So when did you realize that this was not a thing that was gonna go away, it was gonna be a significant part of your life?

Lizzie Hopley [00:09:33]:
I I don’t I think it was, you see, I’ve got a bit of a dual thing going on here. Because as much as I love books and I love writing, and I would go to bed at night and I would write what I now realize was, like, my own space novel, I would just kind of write my own version of Star Wars and put me in it. And I also wanted to act as well. So I was kind of joining the school plays and learning that that was a thing, and I had a very formative teacher in school as, you know, most wonderful creative people do, called Mrs. Barnes. She was my English teacher and discovered Shakespeare and started to do school plays. So I suppose it was in my early teens that I realized I was doing nothing else but these things. I wasn’t going to be a sporty person.

Lizzie Hopley [00:10:25]:
It was writing and acting, but they’ve always been equal. Mhmm. So, I went to a school where drama wasn’t it was a a a you could do an o level when you’re in your a levels, but it didn’t really exist as an option, a career option. None of the career teachers knew how to help me, and I was advised to do a typing course or try university. And I I went to Manchester University to study drama, but then I didn’t I didn’t know. It wasn’t a practical course. The the the polytechnic in Manchester did a practical course. Mine was very academic, and I suppose it pushed the writing a bit.

Lizzie Hopley [00:11:05]:
But I didn’t know about drama schools. I didn’t know I didn’t know they existed. So it wasn’t like I I knew it was a career that I could follow. It was just it was a hobby that I didn’t want that was consuming everything else. But it was only, I think, when I I did a careers test in school when I was about 17, 16, 17, we all did it. And we we it was a really weird time because, obviously, computers were just just happening. And we had these questions, and you put a little pinprick next to the answer. And the computer read the holes in the page, and that was their early, I suppose, algorithm.

Lizzie Hopley [00:11:46]:
And it worked out what what career you should be, and mine was sales. And I just thought I’d rather I’d rather die because of all the things that, you know, like good communication skills and Mhmm. You know, love talking to people and love you know, and all those skills that I thought I had said that I would be a good salesperson. And that was a very bleak time. Very bleak time. And I feel my heart goes out to all those poor people who came before me or even after me or what whatever that are pushed into an area like that without any other options. Because, you know, there must be a lot of very inventive salespeople out there who have a whole other missed life that they should have had. Yeah.

Lizzie Hopley [00:12:38]:
Horrendous, isn’t it?

Nancy Norbeck [00:12:39]:
I mean, there is a lot of overlap in skill set, for sure. And I know, you know, there are lots of folks who study theater who end up applying it that way, but that isn’t necessarily to say that, oh, you, you know, you could be either and be equally happy. That’s not necessarily the case. But but yeah. You know, it’s, they’re very different things even though they’re similar skill sets. So

Lizzie Hopley [00:13:11]:
Absolutely. Have you ever Nancy, have you ever performed? Have you ever done any acting? Oh, you have. You see, I wondered if you had. Because you’ve done the teaching as well, which is something I’ve done. And I really think there is a massive crossover in that whole, if you’ve got that inside, then So what have you done? Just to turn this around and ask you? That’s okay.

Nancy Norbeck [00:13:35]:
It’s totally fair. I’ve done some community theater. I’ve done some improv. I Yeah. Once upon a time, wrote a ten minute play and had that performed. That was an interesting experience. And then when I was teaching, I helped with the middle school play and wrote part of that one year. So so it’s in there.

Nancy Norbeck [00:13:52]:
It’s it’s never been as much as I really, honestly, in my heart of hearts, would have liked. I I realized, I don’t know, five or ten years ago, I thought, you know, really, I could have majored in theater in undergrad and probably done everything in my life that I’ve done with an English degree. And it would have been at least as much fun because at least then I would have had a chance to play around with theater in a way that I didn’t get to do. You know? I mean, an English degree is great. You do a whole lot of writing and, you know, all of that and reading with both of them. So and and I think the reason that I never had the nerve to do it either as a double major or to or to switch is, first of all, I spent the first semester of my undergraduate years thinking that I was going to double major in engineering and English, which ended when I managed to fail out of calculus one. So that’s a whole other side story. But, also, I was pretty sure I never tested the theory, but I was pretty sure that if I told my dad that I was gonna switch to a theater degree, he would say, great.

Nancy Norbeck [00:15:03]:
And how are you gonna pay for your undergraduate degree? So I never I never tested that particular water because I didn’t wanna have that conversation. But I, you know, it’s one of those things that it’s like I I had a conversation, gosh, like, eight eight years ago with someone I met online who was, I think at the time, maybe 19, and was somebody I didn’t know and just happened to be in a conversation with, and she was she was trying to figure out what she wanted to do. She was like, I wanna be an actor, and I know that that’s silly, but I really think theater is magic. But, you know, I could also go get a university degree and do something really practical. And I said, look. I Said, you you wanna hear a voice from twenty five years down the line? Because I can tell you. It was like, if you if you wanna go get a theater degree and you have the means to go do it, for the love of god, go do it. This is the last chance you have to go play with the thing you wanna play with, and then you’ll know you at least got to do it for a while.

Nancy Norbeck [00:16:12]:
Mhmm. And if it pans out beyond that, awesome. And if it doesn’t, you had it briefly. And then if you need to go get another degree, you can go get another degree. But, you know, because I said, don’t talk yourself out of it because there are so many people in this world who are out there to talk you out of it. They don’t need your help. They’re gonna do it anyway. And here’s my contact info.

Nancy Norbeck [00:16:36]:
If you need somebody to be your cheerleader, you come let me know. And I will be your cheerleader because I wish I could go back and have this conversation with my 19 year old self.

Lizzie Hopley [00:16:46]:
Talk about with, you know, paying it paying it back. I mean, that’s Yeah. They’re paying it forward. Yeah.

Nancy Norbeck [00:16:51]:
That is that

Lizzie Hopley [00:16:52]:
is such a valuable thing.

Nancy Norbeck [00:16:54]:
Yeah. And she went to London and she tried to get into drama schools for a while, and I she hasn’t ended up actually doing it, but we’ve stayed in touch.

Lizzie Hopley [00:17:01]:
And, you

Nancy Norbeck [00:17:01]:
know, so she she at least gave it a shot.

Lizzie Hopley [00:17:04]:
At least she tried. Right. Because regret is something that’s more the hardest thing to carry to the grave. And I was lucky that, again, it’s the age thing. I had four years of university grants from Sefton, and they’re a small authority. It’s not Liverpool, it’s just outside Liverpool, Sefton. And it was when I went so I went to university and I had my fees paid, and I had no student debt, which is amazing. Mhmm.

Lizzie Hopley [00:17:33]:
And then I came out of that. I did I did two years, on my own. I kind of thought I was taking a year out and then kind of started a theatre company, did various things in Manchester because it was a very interesting place to be at the time. Canal Street was massive, there was so much theatre going on, you could get money to do stuff. It was a ridiculous time. And, this was in the early nineties. Music scene was so huge, you know, that Manchester was just very exciting time to be creative. And then still had a year left of of funding to go to drama school when I realized that that was there and that I hadn’t done it, and perhaps I should.

Lizzie Hopley [00:18:13]:
So I had my first year of RADA paid for. Now to think of that happening now, I had both those things. I had university and then I I I then the second, third year abroad, it was paid for by grants and, and sponsored. But my my parents certainly couldn’t couldn’t do that. Mhmm. But that would not have happened to me. Right. It just wouldn’t have happened to me because student student loans didn’t exist, you know, so I was able to do it.

Lizzie Hopley [00:18:43]:
But now, of course, you would have to choose, especially now the government is taking away so many arts, based courses and resources from from schools, universities. To choose that now is a big risk because it has to be vocational. You know, you have to kind of think of the future. And if I’m gonna have to pay all this money back, I’d better not train to be an actor.

Nancy Norbeck [00:19:08]:
Right.

Lizzie Hopley [00:19:08]:
Right. Because money is one thing you’re not going to get. And with writing, you know, if you’re lucky, you can tick on by. Mhmm. Yeah. And be a jobbing actor and writer, which I am, which is unbelievable. But I’ve spent many, many years doing all the jobs that fill the gaps, just to make ends meet. And that and so many people I’ve known through university, but particularly through Radha because, I mean, you know, it it’s so oversubscribed, and I was so lucky to get in.

Lizzie Hopley [00:19:43]:
But most of the people I knew have left because it it however good they were, it’s too hard, especially if you want a family and a quality of life. You can’t be an actor. Yeah. So it it it’s so hard. And it’s literally because it’s the only thing I can do, and because I have the backup of writing, which makes me happy. And if I wake up in the morning and go, Oh, I want to act today. You know, you can’t, unless you’re mad and you want to stay in your room and just do it on your own. Done that.

Lizzie Hopley [00:20:13]:
Did that as a kid. But you can’t just do it. Right. But you can do that. You can wake up in the morning and go, I’m gonna write today, and you can. No one’s stopping you. So I’m very lucky that I have something to back me up, which is something I also love. Mhmm.

Lizzie Hopley [00:20:31]:
So, yeah, I mean, that’s a very long long answer to your when did you realize you wanted to do this thing. But, you know, it was always for me, it was always both, and I couldn’t choose equally between one or the other, thankfully, really. So what happened when, you know, between one or the other, thankfully, really.

Nancy Norbeck [00:20:46]:
So what happened when you, you know, went off to drama school and, you know, you’re more doing theater than writing?

Lizzie Hopley [00:20:58]:
Again, that was a strange thing because, yeah, I I went straight from the North to the South. I’m in London. Huge. Very excited to be at Roger. The only reason I’d applied to Roger is because it’s the one I’d heard of. I picked up a book about Laurence Olivier and found out who went there, so I thought better do that. And, also, I was in Manchester, and they held auditions at the Royal Exchange Theatre. So I was like, oh, it’s just down the road.

Lizzie Hopley [00:21:25]:
So I went and did that. And the then principal said, where have you been since you left school? And I said, well, I I I’m at university. So I was in the middle of my university course then, and he said, what do you mean you haven’t finished? No. I haven’t. I just, you know, I want to be an actor. And he said, well, we don’t take quitters. We you finish your course and reapply. And in a way, I’m glad because I then got a degree.

Lizzie Hopley [00:21:51]:
And in my final year, I wrote stuff because I couldn’t find anything I wanted to play that wasn’t a man. And they didn’t have gender blind casting then, so it’s like, well, you can’t do it. You’ve either got to be a girlfriend or a wife or a mother or a little bit. So I thought, well, I’m gonna write my own stuff then. And that’s how I started writing properly and not just as a hobby. It became, oh god, I can write a play like you did. You know, I can actually write a little thing and people can be in it or I can be in it. So that’s when I I kind of thought I would done that now.

Lizzie Hopley [00:22:24]:
I’m gonna start my own theater company, write my own plays, do a bit of stand up comedy, do this, that, and the other. So I then didn’t do what he I finished the course, like he said, but then I didn’t reapply. And it was only when I was two years into all of that thinking, well, what’s happening? You know, I’m not a professional actor. I don’t have an agent. I don’t you know, what am I doing? And that’s I thought I’d better probably train and take it seriously and get to London. And I suppose the shortcut I chose was a three year shortcut that took me to a drama school. And as I said, the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art was the only one I’d heard of, so it was the only one I applied to. And that time, I got in.

Lizzie Hopley [00:23:03]:
And I was it was a very key stage for me as well because I had I knew I had the confidence at that time. I’d also been to see a film the night before with Gary Old man. And, you know, sometimes you come out of a film and it gives you, it gives you the power of the film. You know that, right? Sometimes you come out of a plane, you’re inspired, or you come out of a movie about superheroes and you feel like a superhero, or you feel like Erin Brockovich. And I came out of this Bram Stoker’s Dracula. And I borrowed my friend’s leather jacket, and I thought I was Gary Old man. And I turned up to this audition, and I just I wasn’t gonna not get in. It was very strange because it wasn’t really me.

Lizzie Hopley [00:23:47]:
It was a bit, you know, me on a very odd day where I just wasn’t gonna take any prisoners. And I knew when I’d auditioned, I I knew I’m gonna get in here. And I got a recall and, fortunately, managed to blag that. But I did think if I if I hate the people, I’ll leave. And although some of the tuition there was a bit poor at that time, the people themselves were great. The people I was with were good. There were a lot of northerners, which I don’t think I don’t think that’s really a a a common thing now. But certainly in my year, there were a lot of people from the North who felt a bit more at home.

Lizzie Hopley [00:24:26]:
And one of the tutors really encouraged my writing. And it was while I was there that I wrote my first play and my first screenplay. And that was a massive leap to be reading so many plays and then watching film and going. But I want and I I taught myself screenwriting. I bought all the books that you do. I bought the idiot’s guide to screenwriting, screenwriter’s bible, all the Sid Field books, you know, story of Robert McKee, bought everything, absorbed it all and taught myself all the formats. And got a lot of criticism, and got better and better. But, yeah, that was that was a huge step forward for me, the the RADA thing, because I suddenly thought, ah, this is a this is how to be professional.

Lizzie Hopley [00:25:16]:
You know, you’ve gotta do it seriously, and you’ve gotta even though we didn’t have a, a professional development course at the time, I still had to learn an awful lot. But that’s when I suddenly took that leap forward. I’ve been doing interesting things in Manchester, things that I’ll never forget that were very creative and fun. But learning how to monetize it and learning how to get people interested in it to represent you and then getting two agents, a literary agent and an an acting agent, suddenly things took that, you know, the the leap forward and you kinda think, oh, I could I could have a stab at this.

Nancy Norbeck [00:25:56]:
Yeah. So you were basically doing both at the same time anyway?

Lizzie Hopley [00:26:00]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Nancy Norbeck [00:26:01]:
Yeah.

Lizzie Hopley [00:26:01]:
But and it was just to give myself a role. You know, like, I don’t know about you, but I was you know, I watched one of my most formative things was watching, Glenda Jackson play Elizabeth the first on telly a million years ago and thinking, oh, she’s interesting because she’s not a simpering wife, mother, child. You know, she’s not doing all the things that I see women do. And she was basically doing all the things men do. Obviously, it was Elizabeth the first, so she did rule as, I suppose, a man who then didn’t have a you know, was never a wife and a and a mother. And I just was so inspired that an actress could do that. And I looked for roles that were like that, and there were very few. There was Caryl Churchill.

Lizzie Hopley [00:26:48]:
There was Pan Gems. And I I soaked up their plays and then thought, well, why not write my own then? So my dissertation at university was that. And then this tutor at RADA used to get us to write our own speeches, which is brilliant because all the female monologues are usually quite dull, or overdone. And and so I was able to write my own things, and he really encouraged that, and also gave good criticism for the first time, because that’s a massive step forward in writing. The first time someone gives you proper criticism, and then you go, oh, right. Oh, okay. This thing called rewriting exists. I’ve gotta do that.

Lizzie Hopley [00:27:29]:
Oh, no.

Nancy Norbeck [00:27:29]:
Yeah. Nobody tells you about that part

Lizzie Hopley [00:27:32]:
at first. Yeah. That sorts the wheat from the chat. It’s a bit like if you fail auditions, you you’re not gonna make it as an actor. If you don’t get past the rewriting stage, you’re not gonna make it as a writer. So that’s the next step, isn’t it? It’s like proving you’re good, learning from the mistakes, and getting better. Yeah. And there’s lots of luck involved.

Lizzie Hopley [00:27:54]:
Of course, there is. But unless you put in that work and can get to that next stage and understand the process of it. So the getting better as a writer, I think, is one of the most fascinating things I’ve been through because I can chart it happening, you know, and it’s I could see it happening in other people, which is exciting.

Nancy Norbeck [00:28:16]:
Yeah. Well and, you know, when you’re talking about writing plays because you couldn’t find the kind of things that you wanted to be in, it kind of reminds me you know, I saw this clip of of Stephen Colbert a couple months ago where he was talking about how when when, you know, he was either in school or just out of it, you know, he and and when one of his friends would come up and say, hey. You wanna go Get in Trouble? And Get in Trouble was code for, I’ve found a venue, and a bunch of us are gonna get together. And in nine days, we have to put on a show, and we’ve already invited the press. So in the next nine days, we have to come up with the show and put it on. And it was, you know, we’re all here. We don’t have jobs. We haven’t been able to find a job, so we’re gonna make up our own show, make up our own job.

Nancy Norbeck [00:29:04]:
And when we’re done, the press are gonna come, and we’re gonna something to put on our resume. And so it was like I

Lizzie Hopley [00:29:10]:
love that.

Nancy Norbeck [00:29:10]:
You know. Yeah. That’s what I said. I was like, wow.

Lizzie Hopley [00:29:13]:
Get in trouble. I love that way of doing it. But but that’s what’s driven me so much because if if you’re not getting paid, and, what’s the motivation? We can all write in our bedrooms. I said before, you can get up in the morning and write, but then what happens? So to slap on a deadline, and I used to do this all the time. My first proper finish things when I was at university, it was a dissertation, but then I’d go, Alright, I’m going to book an evening at the Stephen Joseph Studio, which was our studio, sell tickets, and call it this and make a poster, and then I’ve got to learn it and do it. So it became a thing, and that’s what I always did. I suppose the Edinburgh Festival is a bit like that as well, which I never really got into till much later because, again, I just wasn’t educated enough about these things. But, you you know, like, in the February, you’re you’re asked for the title of your play or show.

Lizzie Hopley [00:30:10]:
And whether you’ve written it or not, you just make it up and then fund it, book the poster, and write it. And so many comedians talk nowadays about that dreadful time in February where they have to completely find a generic term for their show that means they can write anything, and the title still applies. But, yeah, having an enforced deadline like that is genius. Because, you know, people are coming, and then then it’s excitement and adrenaline. Yes. And the terror of missing that you can’t miss the deadline.

Nancy Norbeck [00:30:42]:
Right. Right. Because the press are coming. It’s not just that you’re gonna have an audience. The press are

Lizzie Hopley [00:30:47]:
coming. Yes. Exactly.

Nancy Norbeck [00:30:50]:
They’re gonna review you the next day.

Lizzie Hopley [00:30:55]:
That’s genius, isn’t it? Yeah. Yeah. But I

Nancy Norbeck [00:30:59]:
mean How to put

Lizzie Hopley [00:30:59]:
a rocket up your own arse. It’s the only way.

Nancy Norbeck [00:31:05]:
Yeah.

Lizzie Hopley [00:31:05]:
But you’re you’re doing it for yourself. Like, so many I’m watching Severance at the moment, you know, and that wonderful thing about the I don’t know if you’re watching it at all. I’ve seen

Nancy Norbeck [00:31:13]:
some of it. Not Not much.

Lizzie Hopley [00:31:14]:
No. TV. But, you know, everyone loves it because it’s so, it it it looks at your work self versus your real self. And, you know, that there’s this self help book that the the work selves discover, and it’s all about, you know, you’re working for the man. You’re working for the other person. You’re putting so much of your effort in for someone else. And at least I know that everything I produce is for me or is ultimately for the audience. And, you know, the people you you write it, you write stuff for the reader or, you know, form stuff for the person watching.

Lizzie Hopley [00:31:48]:
However, at the end of the day, I I benefit from everything I do. Not always financially Nancy. I’m but Put that out there in case anyone’s thinking of being a writer or an actor.

Nancy Norbeck [00:32:03]:
But if you’re writing it to please everybody else and not to please yourself, the odds are you’re not gonna end up pleasing anybody. Whereas, you know, you gotta be happy with it.

Lizzie Hopley [00:32:18]:
Well, what I mean about writing it for other people, you’re absolutely right about that. And let’s so let me clarify. I suppose the the the thing I mean is I used to write just for myself, and it gave me a voice. It helped me find a voice. The people talk about finding your writing voice. I have, I suppose, several because I write for so many different people in so many different media. But then when it comes to monetizing it, you then do have to think of your end viewer, your end listener. My first, professional commissions were for Radio four.

Lizzie Hopley [00:32:54]:
So I had to think about the the listener of Radio four afternoon plays and really think about, you know, them on the other end of this radio, you know, listening to this story and knowing that I had to keep them engaged, I had to keep them excited, I had to, you know, really take them on a journey. I’m still writing for me because I need bits my idea, and I want it to be fantastic and the best thing ever. And I’m bringing my ideas to them, but I, I never lose- I’ve never lost sight of the importance of that end, user. And that’s, that’s, you know, knowing that there is a connection between you and that individual person in row u of the stalls or whatever is is is so important. And it was actually working with, Declan Donovan who runs the theater company Cheek by Jowl and who’s written a very fabulous book called The Actor and the Target. He talks about never losing sight of the individuals in your audience. And I remember I used to suffer terribly from stage fright until I did a world tour with with him, and I I had this very entertaining character, and I used to get laughs. And then he gave me notes at the end and said, Lizzy, what are you doing it all for? Who who is it all of this for, this dancing around and stuff that you’re doing? And I said, well because he said, at the moment, it seems to be for the for the audience, you know, and and all of that.

Lizzie Hopley [00:34:22]:
And I’m like, well, you know, as in you. It’s to get you laughs. And he said, you’re actually doing it for your fellow actor, who is your mistress. You’re a servant. She’s your mistress. You come in in the morning to wake her up, and everything you do and say is for her benefit. And if you get laughs along the way, that’s great. But it’s never forget that you have a target and that you have a job to do and that you have to you know, and and it’s a very it’s a very complex structure, really, because, yes, it’s all for the audience.

Lizzie Hopley [00:34:58]:
But if your mind is on entertaining the audience as an actor, then you’re not really doing your job unless you’re a stand up comedian, in which case it absolutely is. But as an actor, it’s very different from a writer because, of course, the writer, you don’t have anyone to interact with. At the writing, all you have are your characters and your story. So you make them as good as possible. You focus on them, but the very end is the person who’s gonna be listening to it or reading it or watching a somatailing. Yeah. This makes sense. Does that make any sense?

Nancy Norbeck [00:35:33]:
It it does. It it especially makes sense to me from an acting point of view, and I’m really curious about how you put it into practice in writing.

Lizzie Hopley [00:35:41]:
Yeah. I guess it’s just being aware of, I call it m the end user, I suppose. But I mean, that whole thing about the actor and the target helped me in a lot of ways because as I said, I was very nervous. And one of the side effects of of having your focus on your target properly as an actor is that you lose your nerves, or I did anyway, because your attention isn’t on yourself. Mhmm. And I think if you’re all about you, what you know, and and I stopped writing for myself for quite a long time even though that is that’s what got me into writing because I thought, well, actually, let’s try writing for other people. Let’s just get better as a writer and see if you can write for other people, other actors, and, you know, just widen your range. And I did.

Lizzie Hopley [00:36:27]:
My voice got a lot sharper and a lot more, mobile, and so I learned to write for different mediums, and I learned to write prescript you know, prescriptively for certain actors, which is a good skill. And in terms of of acting, if you’re self conscious, you can get very nervous because you’re just so self aware. And, also, I think an audience can kind of tell. You know, you’re not lost in something. All of my favorite actors and all of certainly the, you know, people that are hailed as wonderful actors, they do get lost in their roles. They do seem to go somewhere else or be so in that moment that you can’t tell they’re acting. Yeah. And often if I can watch people acting and I see them acting, it’s it’s a very different thing to just being, you know, it it they are they’re watching themselves, and I found that so hard.

Lizzie Hopley [00:37:22]:
When I was at drama school, I got feedback from people saying you were kind of watching yourself, you’re directing yourself because I’d only done it in my bedroom. I didn’t know. I said, you know, I was always kind of self critical and putting my attention on the person I was speaking to and properly listening to my fellow actor or concentrating on what I was trying to achieve. And Declan Donlon just puts it in a different language, your target method means, you know, or Stanislavski. They all have their terminology. Every acting method is pretty much trying to get you to do the same thing, which is to to be in action rather than a state of emotion. That’s a byproduct. When you’re actually trying to do something, it’s why acting verbs exist.

Lizzie Hopley [00:38:11]:
You know, if people use that, they they use, acting verbs as well. Anytime I’ve tried to teach at a drama school, I pretty much cherry picked all the things that have helped me and try and get the best results in the shortest amount possible for the actors to see, oh, this works in the moment. This isn’t just some theory that I go home and study. I can actually do it now in the moment and get better better results and feel the difference and see the difference in other people. And when you are putting your attention on the other person rather than on yourself, it makes a massive difference, and the audience can tell. And funnily enough, you shorten that gap between yourself and the audience immediately by doing that because they they are not aware of the artifice anymore. They’re just drawn into that moment with you because they they can see something that’s active rather than performed. Mhmm.

Lizzie Hopley [00:39:08]:
Gosh. There’s a lot of terminology in all of that, and I hope it I hope it makes sense. But it it’s I mean, certainly, I’ve enjoyed teaching so much more the more wonderful mentors I’ve had as an actress, enabling. And I just take and take and take the whole time. And I’m constantly if I do and I taught at GSA. I taught at, BARDA, American, drama school in in London. And each time, I’m constantly updating my information based on the very best of my own experience and what’s helped me. Because if you can’t show someone how to get better in a few minutes, you know, because acting is literally that simple.

Lizzie Hopley [00:40:07]:
Mhmm. It’s just there’s a lot that gets in the way, and you have to learn how to strip that away and go, how can I show this person like a magic trick how to do it instantly? And, and it’s it is miraculous because you can sit and only have thirty minutes with a group of students, and you can literally give them something they can take away with them and go, god, that worked. I got better as a result.

Nancy Norbeck [00:40:32]:
That’s really what so much of of art and even parts of life is, isn’t it? It’s like stripping out all of the things that get in the way.

Lizzie Hopley [00:40:42]:
Yes, isn’t it? Mostly from our own brain.

Nancy Norbeck [00:40:45]:
Yes.

Lizzie Hopley [00:40:47]:
I have trouble sleeping. Do you? Have you got a busy mind? No.

Nancy Norbeck [00:40:50]:
Oh, yeah. Yeah. It never shuts up.

Lizzie Hopley [00:40:52]:
Really? Oh, okay.

Nancy Norbeck [00:40:53]:
I wish it had an off switch.

Lizzie Hopley [00:40:55]:
It was funny. When I was reading your website, I was just like, I think I know this woman. I think I know this kind of mind. Yes. Definitely. It was I love the thing you said about silly. You know, that that silly is the the the virtue of being silly in terms of creativity. Because I know that I’ve often been shut down or shut myself down because I felt silly or I was being silly and childish.

Lizzie Hopley [00:41:21]:
And goodness, I mean, children are again, I go back to Declan Donlen, but he just said every child knows how to act. We all know how to act because we all lie as children. We all perform as children. We all know how to get something. And that’s what children are doing. They’re getting something. They need to achieve something so they become little masters of manipulation very early on. And it’s fascinating because it’s a simple transaction.

Lizzie Hopley [00:41:45]:
When you see a toddler at work, you think, bloody hell, I’ve lost that. I’ve lost the ability to do that. I need to refind it. Yes. I’ve also a husband who’s very annoying. He’s very he he doesn’t play games, and he doesn’t come with an agenda, which is wonderful, but he won’t let me do it either, which is really annoying. So it means that I can’t manipulate him. So whenever I do, Nancy, whenever I manage to do it, I’m so proud of myself because it means my powers have got just that bit stronger.

Lizzie Hopley [00:42:21]:
But it also means that I’m so proud of myself, I have to tell him. So I lose the you know, I lose instantly. But it’s like, I just made you do that because that made you feel it. But it is you’re absolutely right. It’s simplification is the key in acting. Acting is a very complex it is an art. It is something you can get better at, definitely. Some people are are are born with that simplicity built into them.

Lizzie Hopley [00:42:51]:
There are some actors I’ve worked with where you just go, god, I wish I had that straight line from a to b that you have, and they seem to not lose it along the way. And, it’s very easy to to clutter your mind with thoughts. And as soon as you do something good as an actor, it feels good. Immediately, your self congratulatory eye goes, oh, that was good. And immediately you’re out of the moment, you know? And the mind is such a clever beast. And I do think it it works in writing as well. You can become very writerly and get lost in clever dialogue or witty this or what witty that. And my best editors, who I’ve always hated because they’re always right, But the best editors will strip away those lines.

Lizzie Hopley [00:43:48]:
They’ll strip away your best material and make you work hard. So annoying.

Nancy Norbeck [00:43:53]:
Yeah. I I have those moments when, you know, I hear that voice in my head going, you know you have to kill your darlings. You know you love that line, and you know it needs to go. You know? Like, you can copy and you can paste it somewhere because you love it, and you know you’ll never look at it again once you do that. But but if it makes you feel better right now, you can copy it and you can paste it somewhere, but it needs not to be in this particular thing. You know? And I hate that voice in my head because I know it’s right. I know it’s right. That’s right.

Lizzie Hopley [00:44:26]:
That’s right.

Nancy Norbeck [00:44:26]:
But I’m like, but this is really good. It’s like, yep. But it doesn’t belong here. Yeah. But yeah. And

Lizzie Hopley [00:44:36]:
there’s so many scripts that I’ve finished and thought, you know, oh my goodness. That’s perfect. It’s absolutely perfect. It’s so valuable. I used to post them to myself as a way of, you know, copyrighting them and oh my goodness, could never open them. And then you look back at those things because sometimes there’s an idea in them that you need to reuse or you think, you know, an idea suddenly gets to be zeitgeisty and you think, oh, I had that thing ages ago. And you look at it and you go, oh, well, yeah, that’s all rubbish, but I could use the final, you know, 10 pages. And you think, God, I used to think that was the Bible.

Lizzie Hopley [00:45:07]:
And I’ve just looked at it and just discarded 98% of it as being useless. But you had to do it in order to to still have that gem of the 2% left. Yeah. It’s a it’s a very interesting journey. And as soon as you lose your ego as a writer and as an actor, I remember Judi Dench talking about losing her ego very early on in acting when she realized she accepted her shape and that she was never really gonna have a waistline that she wanted and and learning to just put on a costume and go, yeah. That’s right. I don’t look right, but that’s right, was a very valuable thing because it set her free.

Nancy Norbeck [00:45:46]:
And look at what she’s done.

Lizzie Hopley [00:45:49]:
Look at what she’s done. I saw her Cleopatra a million years ago when I was in school, and she it was at the Olivier Stage at the National Theatre in London. I was so far away, And it’s one of my favorite roles in one of my favorite plays, and there was a moment in that which was wordless. You know, it was a reaction to something Anthony said, and she just was really annoyed by it. And she walked the whole length of the stage, and she’s all of five foot two, this little squat woman. And she brought the house down because of her physicality, you know, and she was the absolute physical antithesis to what most people would think of Cleopatra now, certainly in today’s, you know, like, with casting, trying to, you know, be a little bit closer to reality and and history and the truth. But, you know, like, Judi Dench playing Cleopatra was was hilarious because it she transcended any of the rules just by truth. And that was a nice thing to watch.

Lizzie Hopley [00:46:47]:
It was a powerful thing to watch because you didn’t judge her because she didn’t care.

Nancy Norbeck [00:46:52]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Lizzie Hopley [00:46:54]:
Yeah. And it and it I find this I don’t know about you, but I find as I get older, I let I care less. Oh, absolutely. I tried stand up comedy in Manchester, and I was I wish I’d done it because it I was absolutely in the right place at the right time with so many people who then went on to be massively successful. But I was too nervous, and I couldn’t do it. I was too self conscious, and and it died a death. And I did a year of it. I think it was in 02/2017.

Lizzie Hopley [00:47:21]:
A friend of mine just got tired of me boring her about how I should have been a stellar comic. She said, why don’t you just do some? So I did it for a year and ran a and had a blog. And I found the more I did it, the less nervous I was, which was really interesting. I learned a lot about, you know, how it I was gonna take a lot longer to be a successful stand up comic. But I realized also the older you are, the less you care what people think. That’s a cliche. But when you actually experience it for real, especially as a woman, it’s brilliant because the freedom that you have, even though the whole world sees you as less of a human being and you’re so invisible in so many situations. You’re still fighting that.

Lizzie Hopley [00:48:07]:
OBS. But within yourself, the fact that you care less is is a wonderful thing. And how ironic it is that, you know, not enough of us at 20 have that those same feelings.

Nancy Norbeck [00:48:20]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Lizzie Hopley [00:48:21]:
Because what could we achieve? What could we achieve? Yeah. I mean, the men that feel like that when they’re 20.

Nancy Norbeck [00:48:31]:
Really? I do sometimes have the the feeling like, oh, wait. I think I have to rein in the caring less part before I land in trouble with someone, like, you know, my family. Maybe I’ll go a little too far. But but yeah. No. Definitely. And, you know, it’s funny when when I was about, I don’t know, 25 or 26 and my mom turned 50, I called her on her birthday and I said, happy birthday. I’m so jealous.

Nancy Norbeck [00:49:01]:
And she said, are you crazy? And I said, no. I don’t think so. And she said, why? And I said, well, because I figured by the time you turn 50, one of two things has happened. And she said, uh-huh. And I said, either you’ve figured it all out or you don’t care that you’ve figured it all out. Yeah. And so when I turned 50 a couple years ago, I called her up and I said, you know what? I was right.

Lizzie Hopley [00:49:30]:
That’s wonderful. It’s like, yeah. I haven’t figured it all

Nancy Norbeck [00:49:34]:
out, but I really don’t care.

Lizzie Hopley [00:49:37]:
That’s fabulous. You know? I was when I I remember when I turned 40, a friend of mine who is a lot older than me said, congratulations. You’ve just earned your first broomstick. But sadly, you won’t you won’t learn to use it properly until you’re 50. And I I thought that was great. But, yeah, there is that that not caring thing is can be empowering

Nancy Norbeck [00:50:00]:
Oh, yeah.

Lizzie Hopley [00:50:02]:
To a certain degree.

Nancy Norbeck [00:50:05]:
Yeah. So before I forget and before we run out of time, I’m really curious as you have this whole writing acting thing at the same time going on. And since you’re writing and and started at least acting for Big Finish, Have you ever acted in something that you’ve written?

Lizzie Hopley [00:50:28]:
Oh, yeah.

Nancy Norbeck [00:50:28]:
For especially, like, for Big Finish? I should probably know this, but it’s hard to search comprehensively on their site.

Lizzie Hopley [00:50:35]:
And there’s I know. And there’s also so so many. And Uh-huh. I started acting in them first because I was, in a stage play of Abigail’s party, and one of our supporting actors was Conrad Westmass, who plays, Carys in in Big Finish. And there were some well known names in that cast. And, yes, at the stage door every night, there would be people there for Conrad, and we were like, who the hell are you? And he was explained about, who were you then? And he explained about Big Finish, and I was just just, get me in on that. It sounds amazing because, of course, Doctor Who had been not been on our screens. And, it was Gary Russell that started giving me loads of parts.

Lizzie Hopley [00:51:13]:
And, of course, when it came back on telly, then you could get big names during the audios, so that it kind of slightly then reduced. But, I acted in lots and lots of stuff for them, and it was my first writing commission for them was the Dark Shadows. I knew nothing about Dark Shadows, and I thought, right, I’m gonna write a part for myself. And I don’t think I did that until, like, the second or third script. And then I wrote one about the American Civil War, and there was a part in it. And I thought, I I know how this should be played, and I I know how I would do it. And I didn’t want anyone else to have a bash, and fortunately, they let me. And it was called The Carrying Queen, the actual episode, and I played the manifestation of Roar and, quite an astonishing character, and I I loved it.

Lizzie Hopley [00:52:03]:
But I haven’t done that every time. Only every so often, I’ll say, please can I play this because it’s really important that I do? Just because I know that there’s a balance of humor and evil, which I particularly like or, you know, a certain accent or a certain, tone that I’m not sure anyone else would get. Although I’m probably you know, one of the wonderful things about losing your ego as a writer and writing for other people is then when people do justice to your work and then take it and make it better and find things you hadn’t planned, you’re like, wow, that’s a new experience and it’s fabulous. Of course, the opposite happens and I’ve got killers to people like, you know, I might get time to bump off one day when they actually ruin your work. But, every writer has that. But, yeah, I’ve done I’ve done quite a few now, and it’s been great working with, you know, a huge amount of of audio actors, some that have come from this from the doctor who, you know, the screen version to do audio and vice versa. So, yeah, still doing it.

Nancy Norbeck [00:53:07]:
Yeah. Yeah. You’re you’ve done so many.

Lizzie Hopley [00:53:12]:
I have. I’ve worked out. I’ve not done as many as John Dorney because I don’t think anyone has. But he did tell me this weekend that I’d he’d written the most for David Tennant. So, and I’m second. He and I are, like we kind of almost vie for who who’s written the most for David Tennant. And I think that was mostly in lockdown because he and I wrote, like, an audio a month during lockdown. It was just bam, bam, bam.

Lizzie Hopley [00:53:37]:
It kept me alive. Kept my brain alive, big finish. So I owe them a huge amount. A huge amount. And it’s it’s been I mean, I it gave me a certain training in structure because I’ve been asked to write audio novels. So it’s trained me in prose. And then, you know, in long form and short form, you know, I’ve learned how to do thirty minutes an hour because I’d only ever done a forty five minute afternoon play. Now I can I know how to structure things? It’s like holding a skeleton in your mind, and each time it gets longer and shorter.

Lizzie Hopley [00:54:12]:
But you know it’s got to have a head, a spine, limbs, a tail, whatever it is. You know that that’s what your structure is. And each time, it just kind of moves around differently. And and because it does involve sci fi and horror, the horror ones are always my favorite because I’m such a horror nut. But because it does go into that fantastical area, you can mess around with structure as well. So there’s room for that playing about that doesn’t always exist in the professional writing world. You don’t always get those opportunities. And even when the job opportunities do exist, you’re sharing them with the writers room that have rules or it’s for a program like doctors, which suddenly gets axed.

Lizzie Hopley [00:54:56]:
And it was a wonderful breeding ground for for writers, experimental breeding ground for writers. So Big Finish is a massive, massive opportunity to just get better, I think, at what you do. If you if they still I mean, they they’ve opened out their, their writing, their writers and their actors now that there’s so much more diversity there, which absolutely had to happen. And so sometimes there’s less work around. But if you’re consistently doing well and the fans are enjoying it, I mean, you look at you know, you go to Galley, and there are people turning up with pictures from box sets that you did years ago. And it’s their favorite story, and you think that matters so much. It’s it’s a wonderful family, I think. Not just in terms of writing and acting, I’ve also got a massive friend group from them.

Lizzie Hopley [00:55:52]:
We’ve got a running group, God help us.

Nancy Norbeck [00:55:55]:
Oh, I’m sure. Yeah. Yeah. It seems like like Big Finish is a community as much as anything else.

Lizzie Hopley [00:56:02]:
Yes. And you never get really get to meet them, and unless you go to the conventions. I’ve heard so much about Galley one where I met you in LA, and I I it’s the first time I was invited was last year, and I couldn’t do it because I was working. I thought I’d never get asked again, and I was. So just to meet so many people to whom it means so much and make new contacts has been a gift. And I’m I’m doing Big Finish Day as well this year, and that’s it’s an honor to be asked because there are so many people involved in Big Finish. And when they actually go, Lizzie, would you like to do this? You’re like,

Nancy Norbeck [00:56:36]:
wow.

Lizzie Hopley [00:56:37]:
Because the standard is now so high, and, I still don’t understand why some of our top writers you spoke to Lisa and Alfie recently, Lisa McMullen, John Dorney, I mean, Tim Foley. There were Rob Ballantyne. There are so many wonderful writers. That’s just a few aren’t used more by the Tony version. But, I mean, that’s a whole another conversation, Nancy, and I’ll just get very angry if I have to go. But they mean that that some of the stories you just think, wow. That’s that’s top class storytelling. And, you know, if if if you know about Big Finish box sets, you’ll you’ll come across them.

Lizzie Hopley [00:57:16]:
But the wider audience that needs to hear those stories or, you know, get involved in those stories or see them if they were put on telling are missing out, but there you go.

Nancy Norbeck [00:57:27]:
Well, and sometimes, you know, I mean, I’ve listened to so many. So I totally relate to the actors when they say, you know, I don’t remember that particular story because we banged it out in a day. I’m like, yeah. I’ve listened to so many. It’s like, yeah. I know I heard that one, but you’re gonna have to help me remember which one it

Lizzie Hopley [00:57:44]:
was. You know? Of course. But then when they do remember something, isn’t it? Because I I’ve listened to so many and they all I forget ones I’ve written. But if there’s a specific character or specific moment that logs in your brain, it’s there for a reason. And that means that, you know, you’ve created an iconic moment or someone’s created an iconic Oh, for sure. That you’ll character that you’ll never forget. And it’s so personal to everybody. You know, we all have our favorite moments from doctor the Doctor Who world if we’ve ever watched it.

Lizzie Hopley [00:58:12]:
Mine was the Target books.

Nancy Norbeck [00:58:14]:
Oh, yeah.

Lizzie Hopley [00:58:15]:
I came to I came to Doctor Who through the Target books, and I definitely had my favorites there.

Nancy Norbeck [00:58:20]:
Sitting here next to boxes full of Target books.

Lizzie Hopley [00:58:23]:
Oh, you. How did you get into Doctor Who?

Nancy Norbeck [00:58:26]:
I got into Doctor Who because when I was in ninth grade, so I was just about to turn 14, a girl moved into my school district who had lived in The UK for five years. She was very into Doctor Who. And so she started talking to me about it, and I was like, wait. I think I remember this show. I think I turned this show on once, like, four or five years ago on a summer afternoon. I remember this weird theme tune and this guy with curly hair and a scarf, and there was a giant green disembodied talking brain. And I think I lasted three minutes because it was the freakiest thing I’d ever seen. Wow.

Nancy Norbeck [00:59:17]:
Because I was, like, 10. You know?

Lizzie Hopley [00:59:19]:
Yeah.

Nancy Norbeck [00:59:19]:
And she said, oh, yeah. I know which one that is. And somehow got me to turn it on again to one that was not the brain of Morbius. And I said, oh, okay. This isn’t as freaky now. And I kept watching. And so I was in in my area. You could watch Tom Baker on one channel, and you could watch Peter Davison on another one.

Nancy Norbeck [00:59:43]:
So I was watching them side by side and just got completely hooked and stayed completely hooked. She, I don’t think, has watched anything in eons, and here I am going to conventions now. But, but yeah. And so, you know, as I tried to explain this to my nephews, who are nine and 12, a year or two ago, and, of course, they cannot fathom this at all. But, you know, I started buying the Target books because in the mid eighties, that was what you did. You didn’t have VHS, and you didn’t have DVD, and lord knows you didn’t have Netflix or Disney or anything like that. You had the Target books. So it was like, I’m gonna go.

Nancy Norbeck [01:00:28]:
And I I remember buying, like, Galaxy four, which is, I think, a William Hartnell story. Right? And going, I don’t know who any of these characters are, and I’m reading this book anyway because I wanna know the story. And, like, she had to explain to me who the first doctor was and who all of these other characters were and, you know, and and I would just go and buy whichever ones I could find that I didn’t already have, and that’s how you end up with a box full of Target.

Lizzie Hopley [01:00:57]:
3,000 of them.

Nancy Norbeck [01:00:58]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Lizzie Hopley [01:00:59]:
I used to go to the library, Nancy, and I had my library card that would give me six books, for each visit. And I would they had a huge array of Doctor Who books, So I would take six, and then on Sunday, I’d go I’ve been out booked I’d read one a night under the duvet, like, reading this book so I wouldn’t get into trouble because I was still reading and still up. And I would finish each one in a night, and then, oh, yes. There you go.

Nancy Norbeck [01:01:30]:
I just pulled one off of a out of a box here.

Lizzie Hopley [01:01:33]:
And, yes. I would be lost on the seventh day, not knowing what to do, and then I’d, you know, go back to the library and get get my next lot. But I even then, when I came across a brilliant line, I would copy it down in a notebook. And I’ve still got those notebooks where I’ve got a line that Tom Baker says or, you know, John Pertier would say and and that you’d or a moment that moved you and you go, that’s really good. And I had no idea what I was doing because I was the same age as you, 13, 14. Mhmm. And I but for some reason, I wrote it down because I thought, oh, I might I might like to write like that, or I might use that somehow plagiarist as I was. You know, and then just recognizing that something was good

Nancy Norbeck [01:02:18]:
Yeah.

Lizzie Hopley [01:02:18]:
Particularly good. It’s funny, you know, and going, oh, I wanna use that. That’s really cool.

Nancy Norbeck [01:02:24]:
Well, and that’s the same age when I roughly the same age when I discovered Douglas Adams for the first time and was like, oh, words can be fun, like, really fun. You know? And started writing my own doctor who stories and torturing my English teacher with them and all of that. Yeah.

Lizzie Hopley [01:02:44]:
Isn’t it incredible how we start? I mean, I I kind of wonder what my life would have been, and I insist on no regrets. But I’ve diversified a lot, not just acting writing, but by doing different things with the in each genre. And I’ve seen friends of mine who’ve just gone right, I’m gonna do sci fi sci fi sci fi or horror horror horror or Shakespeare Shakespeare Shakespeare, and they’ve just, you know, plotted along and either in those things or you’ve seen how their career trajectory has benefited. I’ve never been able to do that because I’m too interested in too many things, which I don’t think is a better thing necessarily. But I’m I’ve I’ve talked to myself a few times and gone, it’s it’s okay to diversify. It’s not that you’ve done the wrong thing because sometimes people have gone, oh, if you’ve if you’ve just stuck to screenwriting, you might have been here by now. If you’ve just stuck to theater, you might have been there by now. I I I couldn’t do that.

Lizzie Hopley [01:03:48]:
I was too interested in too much. Like, my my English teacher got me into Shakespeare, and I loved you know, we love words. We’ve just said that. I loved the language of Shakespeare. I understood the poetry of it. It had a profound effect on me, and I still do. And I suppose if I had not felt that way, I wouldn’t have perhaps got into RADA because I I understood how to deliver Shakespeare to a standard that got me there, and understand it in lessons. But also, I performed at the Globe.

Lizzie Hopley [01:04:21]:
I performed at the RSC. I’ve done workshops all around the world. I’ve been able to travel with Shakespeare. I’ve gone all around the the The US. I’ve gone to states and taught in prisons in America and and universities with this language. And if I hadn’t had that, where are you know, that that whole area of my life wouldn’t have been opened up. So, you know, I’ve traveled with the acting, traveled less with the writing, but it kept me alive in other situations. And I suppose at the end of the day, you were talking earlier about when you reach 50 going, well, either you figured it out or you don’t care whether you figured it out.

Lizzie Hopley [01:05:02]:
I suppose I’m now looking at my life where it stands now and saying, I’m not holding up an Oscar, but I am blissfully happy with the experience that I’m

Nancy Norbeck [01:05:15]:
Yeah.

Lizzie Hopley [01:05:15]:
Have and I’m having. Look at what I do on a daily basis. No two days are the same. And for someone that needs that change, that constant change and that constant challenge, I think it’s, yeah, it’s it’s it’s a good thing that I’m very content with. But just, you know, for your listeners, because this is about creativity, I think don’t beat yourself up if you can’t stay on one thing. You know, if your mind is in a lot of places, let your mind do that. Let the silly rule, you know, be creative. You’ll find that if a story wants you to write it, it will knock on your head until you do, and you’ll find out Yes.

Lizzie Hopley [01:05:55]:
It will. If it’s a short story, you’ll find out if it’s a screenplay. You’ll find out if it’s a novel. It might be all of those things. But don’t shut doors in your own face because there are plenty of people who will do that for you, which is something you said early right early on when we started speaking. There are plenty of people who will say no. Mhmm. And if anyone was listening to this for any kind of advice or guide God help them if they are listening to me.

Lizzie Hopley [01:06:21]:
But, you know, that that’s if they’re wanting to know about someone discovering their creativity and making use of it, it’s something that I’ve never done. And I think my parents encouraged me to do that. I’ve had odd teachers and guided you know, guidance throughout my life who have been encouraging. And I’ve also had a work ethic, but I’ve also done stuff that I enjoy. And I’ve I’ve never I’ve always opened doors for myself. And, you know, there isn’t money always and a career waiting on the other side of the door, but there’s an experience. And, and those things lead to other things. And often when they converge, it’s interesting.

Lizzie Hopley [01:07:04]:
You know, when you get a a commission for a story that links to something you did years ago. Write what you know. Suddenly, when you well, I’m now in my fifties. I’m looking at my childhood and thinking of things I want to use, you know, my experience in dumb jobs that I’ve had. All of those things are useful in some way or other when you’re looking for story content.

Nancy Norbeck [01:07:29]:
Yeah. It’s funny how that works. Yeah. It is. Yeah.

Lizzie Hopley [01:07:33]:
And look at you now doing this podcast. I mean, it’s like you go going to Galley, get collecting us all.

Nancy Norbeck [01:07:40]:
I sure try. Yeah.

Lizzie Hopley [01:07:43]:
And that’s just one branch, you know, the who people you’ve met. But, no. It’s, you know, it’s exciting.

Nancy Norbeck [01:07:49]:
Yeah. Yeah. It is. You never know where things are gonna lead you.

Lizzie Hopley [01:07:54]:
You’re really gonna Exactly.

Nancy Norbeck [01:07:56]:
So it’s worth exploring them.

Lizzie Hopley [01:07:59]:
Mhmm.

Nancy Norbeck [01:07:59]:
Yeah. And I think that’s a great note to end on.

Lizzie Hopley [01:08:04]:
Alrighty. So yes. Indeed.

Nancy Norbeck [01:08:06]:
Thank you so much for this. I’ve really, really enjoyed this conversation. It’s been wide ranging and really, really fascinating. That’s this week’s episode. Thanks so much to Lizzie Hopley and to you. Lizzie’s links are in the show notes. I hope you’ll leave a review for this episode. There’s a link in your podcast app, and it’s super easy and really makes a difference.

Nancy Norbeck [01:08:28]:
If you enjoyed our conversation, please do share it with a friend. Thanks so much. If this episode resonated with you or if you’re feeling a little bit less than confident in your creative process right now, join me at the spark on Substack as we form a community that supports and celebrates each other’s creative courage. It’s free and it’s also where I’ll be adding programs for subscribers and listeners. The link is in your podcast app, so sign up today. See you there and see you next week. Follow Your Curiosity is produced by me, Nancy Norbeck, with music by Joseph McDade. If you like Follow Your Curiosity, please subscribe, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

Nancy Norbeck [01:09:09]:
And don’t forget to tell your friends. It really helps me reach new listeners.

Imagination, Inspiration, and Creative Resilience with Lizzie Hopley

Actress and writer Lizzie Hopley was born in Liverpool and trained at RADA. As an
nactress, she has worked for the Royal Shakespeare Company and the Globe Theatre and recent screen work includes Black Doves and upcoming feature film Fackham Hall. As a writer, her radio sitcom Green won Pozzitive TV’s Funny Dot Comp 2021 and TV series Bloody Betty is currently in development. She has written and appeared in over 90 Big Finish audio adventures including Dark Shadows and Doctor Who, and her Doctor Who audio play The Curse of Lady Macbeth won the 2022 Scribe Award.
n
nLizzie joins me to talk about how her childhood love of writing and acting became a vocation, auditioning for RADA—twice—and how she ended up continuing to write even as a drama student, how learning to think of acting and writing as having a target changed her work, and a whole lot more.

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Episode Breakdown:

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00:00 Lizzie Hopley shares her creative childhood and love for books.
n04:56 Acting out movie scenes alone sparked early passion for performance.
n08:45 Family encouraged storytelling, costumes, and imagination at home.
n13:11 Difficulties pursuing creative careers; importance of following passion.
n17:33 University and RADA experiences shaped her acting and writing path.
n22:24 Writing plays began due to lack of desired acting roles.
n27:29 Rewriting and feedback are crucial for improving both crafts.
n32:54 Learning to target audience while writing; acting versus writing focus.
n37:22 Acting training emphasizes focusing on scene partner, not yourself.
n43:48 Importance of editors and learning to kill your darlings.
n48:21 Confidence and caring less about others’ opinions increases with age.
n53:07 Acting and writing overlap at Big Finish; playing her own roles.
n57:16 Big Finish’s community impact, creative freedom, and professional development.
n01:02:18 Target books and early Doctor Who fandom as creative inspiration.
n01:07:04 Embrace varied interests; open doors for yourself in creativity.

n

Want more? Here are handy playlists with all my previous interviews with guests in writing, theatre, and Doctor Who.

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If you enjoyed our conversation, I hope you’ll share it with a friend.

n

Check out the full show notes (now including transcripts!) at fycuriosity.com, and connect with me and fellow creatives on Substack.

n

Please leave a review for this episode—it’s really easy and will only take a minute, and it really helps me reach new listeners. Thanks!

n

If you’ve been tearing up when you encounter other people’s art because you’ve lost touch with your own, we should talk.

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Creative Pep Talk #108: Fake It Till You Make It

Pep Talk Logo
Pep Talk Logo


You’ve almost certainly heard the advice to “Fake it till you make it.” It’s good advice—some of the time. We don’t talk about when it’s best to avoid it, and that’s what I’m talking about in this very short episode.

Want more tips? Check out this playlist with all my previous Creative Pep Talks!

Could you leave a review? It’s really easy, and it helps SO much. Thanks!

Join my free creative community, The Spark! We celebrate each other’s creative courage, and I’ll be sharing programs for subscribers and listeners there in the coming months.

Get in Touch

I’d love to hear your feedback, questions, and experience with these ideas! Send me a note at fycuriosity.com, or contact me on Instagram, or Bluesky.

Subscribe!

You can subscribe to Follow Your Curiosity via the handy links at the top of the page for Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeart Radio, TuneIn, and YouTube. If you enjoyed the episode, don’t forget to tell your friends!

Creative Commons License

Transcript: Fake It Till You Make It


Please note: This is an unedited transcript, provided as a courtesy, and reflects the actual conversation as closely as possible. Please forgive any typographical or grammatical errors.


Nancy Norbeck [00:00:06]:
Welcome to Follow Your Curiosity. Ordinary people, extraordinary creativity. Here’s how to get unstuck. I’m your host, creativity coach, Nancy Norbeck. Let’s go. Have you ever tried to fake it until you make it? How has that worked for you? Hi. I’m Nancy Norbeck, and here’s this week’s Creative Pep Talk. So fake it till you make it is great advice that we’ve all heard. If you’re not sure that you’re gonna make it with a new behavior, a new habit, a new anything, faking it is actually a great way to get yourself there faster.

Nancy Norbeck [00:00:45]:
And that’s why it’s such great advice that has lasted this long. So if you haven’t ever tried it, I recommend it in certain circumstances. There are times, and this is the part that we never hear about, when it doesn’t really work well for us because we need help. Some things we can kind of fool our brains into doing, and some things we can’t because we need to learn something. We need someone to lean on. We need something more in that process. So what I really wanna say today is if you’ve tried faking it until you make it and you’ve never made it, you probably aren’t the problem. The problem is that you need someone to lean on.

Nancy Norbeck [00:01:34]:
You need to ask for help. And of course, in our incredibly individualistic culture, especially here in The US, asking for help is often viewed as a failure in and of itself. But when you think about it, the the outcome of not asking for help is frequently worse than the outcome of asking for help. Right? If you don’t ask for help, you’re probably, if you really need it, going to fail. Possibly in a big embarrassing and maybe even scary way. Whereas when you ask for help, you get the information you need, you learn what you need to know, you get support. And all of those things make it much more likely that you will succeed in whatever it is that you’re trying to do. So think about it.

Nancy Norbeck [00:02:29]:
And maybe, you know, not so much rethink fake it till you make it, but look at it in a broader sense. Know when you need help and don’t be afraid to go ask for it. It’s like when I used to teach and kids would tell me that, you know, they couldn’t go ask their teacher for help because they would look stupid. If they didn’t go ask their teacher for help, they were gonna fail the assignment or the test. And the kids who did ask for help usually got what they needed and got the admiration of their teacher too. So don’t be that kind of kid. They’re everywhere. They still exist.

Nancy Norbeck [00:03:03]:
Go and get the help that you need and be better for it. You will thank yourself in the end. Give that a try. Keep it in mind, and I’ll see you next time. If this episode resonated with you or if you’re feeling a little bit less than confident in your creative process right now, join me at the spark on Substack as we form a community that supports and celebrates each other’s creative courage. It’s free, and it’s also where I’ll be adding programs for subscribers and listeners. The link is in your podcast app, so sign up today. See you there, and see you next week.

Nancy Norbeck [00:03:39]:
Follow Your Curiosity is produced by me, Nancy Norbeck, with music by Joseph McDade. If you like Follow Your Curiosity, please subscribe, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. And don’t forget to tell your friends. It really helps me reach new listeners.

CPT #108: Fake It Till You Make It

You’ve almost certainly heard the advice to “Fake it till you make it.” It’s good advice—some of the time. We don’t talk about when it’s best to avoid it, and that’s what I’m talking about in this very short episode.

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I teach women how to reignite their lost creative spark. If you’ve been tearing up when you encounter other people’s art because you’ve lost touch with your own, let’s talk

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Want more tips? Check out all my previous Creative Pep Talks in this playlist!

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