Coaching Call: Emily T.

It’s time for our first coaching call! I’m so excited to bring you these episodes, because you’ll get to hear real people talk about their blocks and see how coaching makes a difference. There’s power in realizing that you’re not alone—that everyone has blocks, not just you—and I know you’ll hear something in each coaching call that speaks to you, even if it’s not what you expect. I’d love to hear your thoughts about these calls on Instagram.

Our first coaching call is with my friend Emily, who moved away from the area about a decade ago, so this is the first time we’ve spoken in a while. She’s feeling like she’s totally lost her creative spark and is worried that something’s wrong and she might not get it back again. If you’ve ever felt too tired and overwhelmed to create, you’ll definitely want to hear this call.

If you’d like to try some coaching yourself, email me at [email protected] and we’ll talk!

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Transcript

Please note: This is an unedited transcript, provided as a courtesy, and reflects the actual conversation as closely as possible. Please forgive any typographical or grammatical errors.

Nancy Norbeck [00:00:07]:
Hello, and welcome to Follow Your Curiosity, where we explore the ups and downs of the creative process and how to keep it moving. I’m your host, Nancy Norbeck. I am a writer, singer, improv comedy newbie, science fiction geek, and creativity coach who loves helping right brained folks get unstuck. I am so excited to be coming to you with interviews and coaching calls to show you the depth and breadth both of creative pursuits and creative people to give you some insight into their experiences and to inspire you. I started this podcast because, as you might imagine, it would be a little tricky to be a creativity coach without having a real affection for creative people. Not only do I love my fellow imaginative folks, I especially love hearing their stories. I always get something out of the challenges they’ve overcome, the things they’ve learned, and just hearing how someone else experiences the ups and downs of the creative process. I realized that if I find these stories and lessons valuable, others would too.

Nancy Norbeck [00:01:08]:
One of the things I’m really passionate about is the idea that all of us are creative. Yes, even the people who roll their eyes or shake their heads as they say, oh, no. Not me. I’m not creative. If you ever imagined anything as a child, spoiler, you did, you’re creative even if someone managed to convince you otherwise. As a result, I think it’s important to show the diversity of creativity on this podcast, both in the people I interview and by featuring actual coaching calls. In order to make the first few calls happen, I’ve enlisted some friends and volunteers who are looking for a little help with their own projects, but I’m hoping that you will volunteer for a future call.

Nancy Norbeck [00:01:46]:
If you’re intrigued by what you hear today and think I could help you with something you’re working on, please ping me on Instagram at fycuriosity or send me an email at [email protected], and we’ll set something up. Without further ado, here’s our first call in episode. Enjoy. I am talking today with my friend, Emily, who I actually haven’t seen since she moved away about 10 years ago, so this is gonna be tons of fun. And, Emily is an artist who does all sorts of cool work. I’m sure even cooler than what I remember from 10 years ago at this point. But, anyway, Emily, what is your creative dream and what’s getting in the way?

Emily T. [00:02:28]:
Oh, hi, Nancy. It’s so good to talk to you. First of all, wanted to just say hello. What is my creative dream and what is getting in the way? Well, that’s a big question.

Nancy Norbeck [00:02:41]:
Mhmm.

Emily T. [00:02:42]:
And my my answer my answer is actually that that’s that’s the problem is I’ve had a lot of creative dreams over the years that I followed pretty pretty thoroughly. You know, I’ve had the luxury and the freedom and the, great gift, blessing in my life to be able to follow my creative dreams. My issue right now actually is I don’t I don’t have the willpower or the energy in my life or even really the time to follow, to even create a creative dream. So my concern is that I don’t have a creative dream right now. And so, I guess what would really help me is if we could have a conversation about is that wrong to not have a creative dream.

Nancy Norbeck [00:03:38]:
Okay.

Emily T. [00:03:38]:
And I can I can tell you some of the some of the dreams I’ve had that I followed? Part of my issue relates to the fact that a lot of my creative dreams didn’t pan out how I wanted them to. Okay. And I’m I’m I could define that as failure, but I know I shouldn’t do that. Mhmm. So so figuring out how to redefine some of my past creative dream, foibles, paths, false starts. I don’t wanna call them failures because they’re not, but I’ve had creative dreams that didn’t pan out.

Nancy Norbeck [00:04:18]:
Okay.

Emily T. [00:04:19]:
So figuring out why I don’t have creative dreams now and what I should do about it. That’s a long answer.

Nancy Norbeck [00:04:28]:
That’s okay. It’s a good answer. So, I I’m struck in particular by something you you said towards the beginning of your answer, which is the idea that is it is it wrong, and I’m wondering what it is that brings that word up for you.

Emily T. [00:04:49]:
Well, is it wrong to not have a creative dream? Is that what you’re looking at? Yeah. Well, maybe not is it wrong or is it right, but maybe the question is why don’t I have one? You know?

Nancy Norbeck [00:05:07]:
Yeah. Is there some

Emily T. [00:05:10]:
part of know.

Nancy Norbeck [00:05:11]:
Is is there some part of you that’s telling yourself that it’s wrong not to have one, or that there is a right and wrong here at all?

Emily T. [00:05:18]:
Well, I’ve had a lot of creative dreams that I’ve been lucky enough to really pursue thoroughly, and what’s curious for me is how none of them really turned into some lifelong, permanent path. I had a lot of stops and starts the last 10 years, I’ll say. And that’s since we moved away from New Jersey. So it’s kind of interesting that that’s since I’ve known you, you know, since we really haven’t topped for a decade, actually. And and, what happened was a little history is when we left New Jersey, I was gonna give myself a 6 month sabbatical to figure out what I wanted to do because I I had I had big ideas and I wanted to pursue the correct one. I didn’t want to jump in and kind of dip my foot in the pond over and over. So, I said, I’m going to take 6 months and I’m going to really think about this and journal about it and be creative and open up my all my horizons and try to figure out what’s my big creative work? What’s the next thing? And maybe this is just how I am, but I kept trying things, and they didn’t exactly go the way I wanted. And I try something, try something else, tried something else.

Emily T. [00:06:32]:
And I don’t want to use the word failure, like I said, but I kept having dead ends.

Nancy Norbeck [00:06:37]:
Mhmm.

Emily T. [00:06:38]:
Dead end after dead end after dead end for lots of things that look like success to people. I mean, I I wrote books. I published them. I had art shows. I have an agent that represents me. So it wasn’t that nothing happened. It was that there was no one clear direction.

Nancy Norbeck [00:06:56]:
Okay.

Emily T. [00:06:57]:
I kept kind of veering and veering and veering or swerving. I know that’s the popular word now. Swerve, swerve, swerve. But how many times can you swerve? You know? Mhmm. So finally, about a year well, what here’s what here’s really what happened. And I’m being long winded, so interrupt me. No. No.

Emily T. [00:07:14]:
No.

Nancy Norbeck [00:07:14]:
You go.

Emily T. [00:07:17]:
What happened a year ago was catastrophic. And I well, 2 years ago, I got a job teaching online, so I’ll start with that. I needed to finally make money because the books and the agents and the art shows and the art journaling business and the book design business never made any money and never were successful. So all of those things were dead ends. Finally, 2 years ago, I took a job teaching English to Chinese students online because I had to earn some money after all these years of really floundering. So I I love this job. It’s going well. I work from 3 to 8 in the morning.

Emily T. [00:07:53]:
That’s my work.

Nancy Norbeck [00:07:55]:
Mhmm.

Emily T. [00:07:55]:
And when you’re done working at 8 in the morning, you have a day to do stuff. So I thought, perfect. This is gonna open up my creative world. But then a year ago, the catastrophe I mentioned was my daughter was, in a near fatal car accident. So she’s doing okay.

Nancy Norbeck [00:08:11]:
Mhmm.

Emily T. [00:08:12]:
But it’s been a whole year of hospitals and rehab hospitals and caretaking and just she has a brain injury, so a fair amount of my energy right now is caretaking

Nancy Norbeck [00:08:27]:
Sure.

Emily T. [00:08:27]:
For her and for my elderly mom. My mom is 89 and lives nearby, and I spend a few days a week with her. So that’s certainly part of it. I mean, I don’t I you know, it’s clear to me that, okay. I’ve spent first, I’m working from 3 to 8 in the morning to earn money. Mhmm. And then I have these 2 people who really do need a lot of my focus.

Nancy Norbeck [00:08:49]:
Right.

Emily T. [00:08:49]:
So so that could explain not having a creative, you know, creative work that’s blossoming right now. But I don’t I don’t know what to do about that. I, you know, I paint in my journal. In fact, I know your readers can’t see this, but, you know, I do work like this in my journal, and I paint whales. That’s almost like a spiritual practice for me, painting whales. You know?

Nancy Norbeck [00:09:14]:
Oh, they’re awesome.

Emily T. [00:09:16]:
Thank you. But but, really, I don’t have a creative urge. I’m too tired and overwhelmed, and I wonder about that. So I guess I guess the help I need is how to feel better about it, what to do about it, how to work out in my life that right now, it’s not gonna be forever, but right now I have big responsibilities that don’t leave me a lot of energy.

Nancy Norbeck [00:09:44]:
So I think you’re right because as you’re talking I’m kind of thinking, well, yeah, that’ll take a lot out of you. So what I’m wondering is what, if anything, are you doing for yourself in with all of this? Are you managing to take any time for yourself at all even if it’s just I’m gonna go read for 5 minutes, or you know, even if it doesn’t look like creativity to you?

Emily T. [00:10:16]:
Yeah. I I try. I really do. I know it’s a well, it’s essential. I know that. But I guess I’m so low energy that I I do things like I knit or I take a nap. You know? Mhmm. Or or I sometimes, you’re gonna laugh, I just sit.

Emily T. [00:10:34]:
Not watch at all. I just sit or I watch TV, which I really don’t isn’t something I enjoy that much, but just kind of doing nothing. And during the doing nothing, I keep thinking I could be painting, I could be writing, I could be working on a book, I could be doing a blog entry, but so I put away the guilt. You know, I know there’s no shoulds in life, but I’m sad that I don’t have more time and energy for creative work. So maybe that’s my problem. I’m sad about it and what what to do. Like, you know, like I showed you, I do little paintings and I knit and I have very small things, but I miss having a big creative project. I do miss it.

Emily T. [00:11:22]:
Mhmm. But I just don’t find the space.

Nancy Norbeck [00:11:25]:
Right. Do you have a piece of paper handy?

Emily T. [00:11:29]:
Yep.

Nancy Norbeck [00:11:30]:
Alright. Let’s try something.

Emily T. [00:11:34]:
Okay. Ready.

Nancy Norbeck [00:11:35]:
Alright. At the top of your piece of paper actually, no. Not at the top. Well, yes. But not what I was thinking.

Emily T. [00:11:46]:
I make sense. You do. You’re making sense.

Nancy Norbeck [00:11:48]:
Can just just number it from 1 to 10.

Emily T. [00:11:57]:
Okay. Alright. 9, 10, done.

Nancy Norbeck [00:11:59]:
Okay. And take a minute and see if you can just put down things that you can give yourself credit for from the last Mhmm. Maybe even just the last week, just to make it give you a container.

Emily T. [00:12:15]:
Things that achieved you mean kind of?

Nancy Norbeck [00:12:17]:
Anything that that you accomplished whether it’s, you know, doing something for somebody or doing something for you, though in your case maybe, you know, make sure you include the little whales and things like that.

Emily T. [00:12:30]:
Okay.

Nancy Norbeck [00:12:30]:
And if you have more than 10, keep going.

Emily T. [00:12:33]:
Okay. Just this last week. Right?

Nancy Norbeck [00:12:36]:
Yeah. If you think of other things, that’s fine, but just to give you a parameter. Okay.

Emily T. [00:12:44]:
Alright. I’m working on it. Might take me a minute, so

Nancy Norbeck [00:12:50]:
That’s okay. Take your time.

Emily T. [00:12:58]:
And these are not all creative achievements. Right?

Nancy Norbeck [00:13:01]:
That’s totally okay.

Emily T. [00:13:02]:
Okay. I’m getting stuck at number 8.

Nancy Norbeck [00:13:13]:
That’s okay too.

Emily T. [00:13:15]:
Okay. I have 8.

Nancy Norbeck [00:13:17]:
88 is pretty good. So when you look at your list of 8 things, are they things that you had given yourself credit for yet, or had you just kind of said, this is this thing I just did. No big. Check it off the list.

Emily T. [00:13:34]:
Interesting. Yeah. Giving myself credit for. You’re right. I don’t think I did that. I think I just I just got through. Well, yeah. I did not give myself credit for these things.

Nancy Norbeck [00:13:52]:
I I

Emily T. [00:13:52]:
knew that I did them, and I understood that, oh, good. I got that done.

Nancy Norbeck [00:13:56]:
Right.

Emily T. [00:13:58]:
Yeah. Yeah. And it’s funny as I was writing them, I was thinking, Well, wait, is this creative or not? Is this creative or not? Because they didn’t fit into my normal definition of what I could achieve as a creative person.

Nancy Norbeck [00:14:11]:
Yeah.

Emily T. [00:14:11]:
Like one of them is one of them is I cooked a really good carrot recipe in my hot pot. Hey. And I thought, yeah. And I but not oh, cooking. Oh, whatever. But it did feel really good because the new recipe, I have this new hot pot where you put in vegetables, and, like, in 2 minutes, you have cooked vegetables, which is really pretty cool. But, yeah, they didn’t I wouldn’t have thought of them as creative achievements until you asked me to phrase it, you know, that way. Yeah, if you think of them

Nancy Norbeck [00:14:45]:
that way, how does it feel to look at that list?

Emily T. [00:14:49]:
Yeah, I feel better about myself actually because I did a lot. I mean, I do a lot, but it doesn’t feel like it’s creative work.

Nancy Norbeck [00:14:57]:
I think there’s probably yeah. You know, because we do that a lot. We discount the stuff that we do, especially the routine things or the things we don’t think of as, you know, I would rather be painting. Well, that doesn’t mean that this other thing isn’t creative, and and I can tell you, you know, having having watched my parents deal with my grandparents as they were aging, that stuff involves a lot of creativity, you know, and not necessarily just aging parents, you know, trying to figure out how to how to set up a room better for somebody who can’t get around very well, you know, all of that, it’s it’s still a creative thing, we just don’t think of it that way. I think cooking in general is this huge overlooked creative, you know, area. So so yeah. So at the top of that page, I want you to just write the words credit report.

Emily T. [00:15:55]:
Credit report. Okay. Got it.

Nancy Norbeck [00:15:59]:
And you can keep adding things beyond your 8. You could do one, you know, for the week, you could do one for, you know, however whatever feels like the right thing for you. You could do one every day if you feel like that would help, but I think I think reframing that a little bit that way would at least help you feel better about the things that you need to do.

Emily T. [00:16:24]:
You’re right. You’re very right. That’s very accurate. Yeah. Because just looking at the list, I, you know, I did a lot enough, and and you’re right. I wouldn’t have thought of these as creative achievements until you pointed it out that way. So, thank you. That’s good.

Nancy Norbeck [00:16:41]:
You’re welcome. So, now, my question is, do you think you could find 5 minutes every day just to let yourself daydream about what kind of project you wanna do when your schedule frees up?

Emily T. [00:16:59]:
I would like to. I would like to say yes. I would. But, see, you know what’s funny? When I do the daydreaming thing, it’s almost like one more pressure.

Nancy Norbeck [00:17:12]:
Yeah.

Emily T. [00:17:13]:
Why aren’t I painting? Why aren’t I work I have actually a second whale book I have all ready to go, And for, really, literally a year, understandably, I just haven’t even looked at it. I haven’t been able to. And when I think about looking at it, I just feel bad. I just feel guilty instead of, like, oh, yeah. One day I’ll get to that. I just go, oh, gosh. You know? This is just hopeless. So I wonder what the is there a question that would make me feel better about it?

Nancy Norbeck [00:17:43]:
There might be, but the question probably is up to you.

Emily T. [00:17:50]:
Yeah.

Nancy Norbeck [00:17:50]:
Is there is there a way that if you just take a minute and think about, like, how because you know what the project is, So, you know, if you if you imagine the project and what you wanna do with it without any of the why and the should and any of that.

Emily T. [00:18:13]:
Right.

Nancy Norbeck [00:18:14]:
What is it about it that makes you feel the best? What makes you feel the most engaged?

Emily T. [00:18:26]:
Well, it’s like I wish I could work on it. Well, that’s not really that’s not really true. I mean, I’m gonna be really honest. I don’t feel I don’t feel like it. You know? I wish I I wish I wanted to work on it. Is

Nancy Norbeck [00:18:38]:
that is

Emily T. [00:18:39]:
that better?

Nancy Norbeck [00:18:40]:
Yeah.

Emily T. [00:18:40]:
I wish I wish I had the urge, and I just don’t. I just don’t have the urge.

Nancy Norbeck [00:18:47]:
So given everything that you just put on your list

Emily T. [00:18:51]:
Mhmm.

Nancy Norbeck [00:18:51]:
And everything that you’re trying to juggle right now, how does it feel if I say to you it’s okay not to wanna do this right now?

Emily T. [00:19:05]:
Thank you. Yes. Yes. That feels really nice. It feels nurturing. It feels nurturing. And I’ve been trying to say that to myself, but I it’s like I lost my mojo. Do you know what I mean?

Nancy Norbeck [00:19:19]:
Yeah.

Emily T. [00:19:20]:
I’m not in the flow. I stepped out of the river. I’m sitting on the bank of the river perfectly happy to do nothing and feeling a little guilty about that.

Nancy Norbeck [00:19:30]:
I kind of wonder if maybe the the guilt is more the problem than anything else, you know, just because in general guilt seems to be that way. But Mhmm. I mean, you you have a ton of stuff on your plate right now. I mean, frankly, you’ve got at least 2 or 3 plates going. Yeah. And and sometimes it’s not the worst thing in the world to take a break from creative work because brains only can do so much at one time, and you know it could just be that, you know, the the guilt is what charges the whole thing for you, I think. And if if you can say to yourself, it’s okay because I’m at capacity and everything sits in the back of your subconscious, you know, everything that we do, everything we experience, it all sits back there and it percolates, you know, the great cliche in writing is it’s all material, you know, eventually you horrible person you will come out in some book that I will write someday you know, and and there is kind of truth to that you know. So so I could very well be that the way to look at the situation right now is less as I wish I had this thing going on, you know, I wish I had this project, I wish I wanted to work on it, and more as I’m kind of tired doing everything I’m doing and that’s okay and I can, you know, I could sit down and I can say, you know, watch a beautiful movie or flip through a book of art or go to the museum and and still take things in and they’ll still sit in the back of my head and percolate and when I’m ready, they’re all gonna be there and it’ll come back out and I, you know, at that same time, that’s when you’ll have the energy to work on it again.

Emily T. [00:21:29]:
You know what? While you’re talking, I just had a pretty big revelation based on what you were just saying. And it might choke me up a little bit. I’ll try to get it.

Nancy Norbeck [00:21:39]:
Okay. Take your time.

Emily T. [00:21:41]:
This idea of self soothing

Nancy Norbeck [00:21:43]:
Mhmm.

Emily T. [00:21:44]:
Of taking care of yourself, what I’ve been doing is eating. I’ve been self soothing with food, and frankly, I’ve gained about, like, £35 the last year. And I understand I’ve been in a lot of stress, but like you said, go to a museum or look through an art book. It’s like this, we need to feed ourselves in healthy ways.

Nancy Norbeck [00:22:07]:
Mhmm.

Emily T. [00:22:08]:
And I think I’ve been feeding myself in unhealthy ways. So I don’t know, something that you described made me think, wow, I’m self soothing with food instead of a healthier way of doing it.

Nancy Norbeck [00:22:23]:
Yeah, it’s so easy, so many people do that. Yeah. I mean, you’re so not alone.

Emily T. [00:22:31]:
Yeah.

Nancy Norbeck [00:22:33]:
And and really that that’s the core thing here. I mean, nothing that that you’re talking about is even remotely abnormal. Anybody else in the same situation would be asking the same questions.

Emily T. [00:22:45]:
Mhmm.

Nancy Norbeck [00:22:46]:
So, you know, it’s it’s normal to feel overloaded and just say, I’ve given all I’ve got for right now. Yeah. You know? Nothing wrong with that at all.

Emily T. [00:23:00]:
Yeah. I just would like it to be a little easier.

Nancy Norbeck [00:23:03]:
Well, I I think if you experiment with the with the credit report list

Emily T. [00:23:08]:
Mhmm.

Nancy Norbeck [00:23:09]:
And maybe, you know, get yourself out to the museum or go for a walk.

Emily T. [00:23:15]:
Right, walks are my saving grace, yes.

Nancy Norbeck [00:23:19]:
Yeah, I mean, and walks are so, you know, I always say that the the two places where ideas tend to come to me the most easily are the shower and and in the car. Because I think, you know, your your left brain is occupied, so your right brain is free to to play, but walks are a lot like that too, and if you do it someplace pretty, that certainly doesn’t hurt.

Emily T. [00:23:39]:
Right. Well, I’m lucky I live in a place where we have incredibly beautiful trails. So wait. What you just said that really struck me, when your left brain is occupied, your right brain can play. Mhmm. That’s brilliant. I’ve never thought of it that way.

Nancy Norbeck [00:23:52]:
Well, that’s like, you know, you drive to work in the morning, and you realize when you get there that you don’t remember driving at all, and obviously you got there in one piece, you didn’t crash, you didn’t run a red light, but you know, yeah, because your left brain was on on call. Right. Yeah. How does that feel to say?

Emily T. [00:24:12]:
Yeah. That that’s that’s a terrific idea. Also, to give myself permission to just enjoy things.

Nancy Norbeck [00:24:19]:
Yeah. Little.

Emily T. [00:24:20]:
And I have been trying to do that. You know, the knitting and stuff like that, some just sitting. Yeah. Because I I’ve needed that. But but to give myself permission to not need to add up creative achievement, That’s okay. That credit report includes things like cooking carrots, you know. That’s cool. That’s a great idea.

Nancy Norbeck [00:24:43]:
And I think

Emily T. [00:24:44]:
That’s really, really helpful.

Nancy Norbeck [00:24:45]:
I think it’ll free up that creative brain when it’s ready because you’re you’re not gonna be sitting there saying, why, why, why isn’t this happening all the time anymore? Instead, it’s just sort of like, hey, when you’re ready.

Emily T. [00:24:59]:
Right. Right.

Nancy Norbeck [00:25:00]:
Does that feel better?

Emily T. [00:25:01]:
Yeah. Yeah. No. I really like that. I really, really like that. And I’ve actually planned a couple of trips because I I kind of just need to get away and out of my routine. So Yes. I know I know that I need that, and so I actually have 2 weeks.

Emily T. [00:25:16]:
I’m gonna I found a place in Mexico where you can often see whales, and I’ve never seen one in the wild. So, I have 2 weeks in February to go to Mexico and hopefully just sit and look at the ocean, and it’s like I’m waiting for that to be my my reset button. Do you know what I mean?

Nancy Norbeck [00:25:33]:
Yeah. And I think it really could be.

Emily T. [00:25:36]:
Yeah. Maybe I’ll need to call you. I’ll call you when I’m there. I’ll have a coaching session with you because, no, this this might really, you know, this is really helping me reframe it so I don’t feel bad about myself.

Nancy Norbeck [00:25:50]:
Good. And I think, you know, I think travel is always good for the soul. So I’m really glad.

Emily T. [00:25:56]:
And I just haven’t been able to, obviously. I’ve been really busy, but I’m hoping February works. I think it will. I think everything is under control. So

Nancy Norbeck [00:26:05]:
Yeah. Because then that’s, like, almost like living in the museum for 2 weeks. You know, everything is different. So

Emily T. [00:26:11]:
Right. Right.

Nancy Norbeck [00:26:12]:
Oh, that sounds perfect.

Emily T. [00:26:15]:
Yeah. I’m really looking forward to it. And, again, I don’t wanna stress myself when I’m there and think I have to write a book or achieve something. I’d love it to just to be open time, you know?

Nancy Norbeck [00:26:27]:
Mhmm.

Emily T. [00:26:27]:
So I might need your help to remember that.

Nancy Norbeck [00:26:31]:
Yeah. Well, you know where to find me.

Emily T. [00:26:33]:
Yeah.

Nancy Norbeck [00:26:34]:
But, you know, honestly, I I would just focus on on having fun. Keep it simple.

Emily T. [00:26:43]:
Have fun. I’m writing

Nancy Norbeck [00:26:44]:
it down. Fun.

Emily T. [00:26:48]:
You know what? That’s isn’t it hard to figure out how to have fun? Like, I I Yeah. It’s hard to figure that out.

Nancy Norbeck [00:26:57]:
Yeah. So I’ll I’ll give you I don’t wanna overload you with ideas, but I’ll give you one other little one, which is actually kind of a a big one disguised as a little one, which is to ask yourself a small question, and you can do this before you go, you could do it when you go, you can change it up whenever you want, but the way that it works is that as a small question is just a very simple little open ended question that you ask yourself with no expectation of answering it. Mhmm. So what I’m thinking of in your case is just how can I make this more fun? And so let’s say, you know, you wanna ask yourself a couple of times a day. So maybe when you’re having breakfast or you’re brushing your teeth or you know, anytime that that you can associate it with a different time or you can just make it make it random. But you just say to yourself, how can I make this more fun? And then just go right on with whatever you were doing as if you said nothing.

Emily T. [00:28:07]:
That’s brilliant. I love that.

Nancy Norbeck [00:28:09]:
Yeah, because question. Eventually it’s gonna pop something up, and it probably will be better than anything that you could come up with if you sat here right now and tried to make a list of ways I could make this more fun. You’ll get something that you can do with ways I could make this more fun. You’ll get something that that will work better usually. And like I said, you know, if if you experiment with it and you decide that it is working well for you, you can always change up the question. But for now

Emily T. [00:28:35]:
You know what I love? I love that. Just the idea that fun is valid and valuable and worth valid. Worth pursuing. You know? Yeah. I love that because, actually, it’s not been a very fun year. It’s been a pretty awful year with my daughter’s issues, you know, and hospital bills. And, I mean, you know, it’s been it’s been the trauma of my life, actually. Yeah.

Emily T. [00:28:57]:
So fun is not something that’s been in my playbook for quite a while. So that’s a really, really terrific idea.

Nancy Norbeck [00:29:06]:
I I hereby give you permission to have fun.

Emily T. [00:29:09]:
Oh, thank you, Nancy. Oh, gosh. Really? You don’t know how much that is for me. That’s incredible. That idea that it’s valid.

Nancy Norbeck [00:29:20]:
It’s totally valid.

Emily T. [00:29:20]:
To just have fun. Totally valid. Wow.

Nancy Norbeck [00:29:23]:
Wow. You know, I highly recommend, you know, if you can find a couple little kids to hang out with for an hour or 2.

Emily T. [00:29:31]:
Well, I teach little kids every morning.

Nancy Norbeck [00:29:33]:
That’s true.

Emily T. [00:29:33]:
And a half hours. So I don’t little kids.

Nancy Norbeck [00:29:36]:
That’s true.

Emily T. [00:29:38]:
Enough for little kids. I get my fill of No. It’s actually my job is fun because what I have to be super enthusiastic, and I’m teaching them English, and they are adorable.

Nancy Norbeck [00:29:47]:
Mhmm.

Emily T. [00:29:47]:
So it’s funny that my work has actually been a lifesaver for me this last year because we’re required to be super high energy and to praise them incessantly. And Mhmm. And they’re adorable. This my students are, like, age 5 to 10, and they’re just learning English. So they’re you know? But, yeah, having fun is part of my job, but that’s been almost mandated when I teach. I don’t usually have fun for myself, if you know what I mean.

Nancy Norbeck [00:30:16]:
You’re allowed to have fun for yourself.

Emily T. [00:30:18]:
Yeah. For myself.

Nancy Norbeck [00:30:19]:
It’s it’s important to have fun for yourself, but don’t let the it’s important idea turn into pressure.

Emily T. [00:30:26]:
Right. Right.

Nancy Norbeck [00:30:28]:
But just, you know, how can I make this more fun?

Emily T. [00:30:31]:
That’s huge. Yeah. No. That’s fairly, really, really helpful for me. So credit report

Nancy Norbeck [00:30:37]:
Mhmm.

Emily T. [00:30:38]:
And how can I make this more fun?

Nancy Norbeck [00:30:40]:
Yep. And and don’t forget to feed yourself.

Emily T. [00:30:44]:
Not food.

Nancy Norbeck [00:30:45]:
Not food.

Emily T. [00:30:46]:
I’ve been feeding myself lots of food, but yeah, you’re right. Other than

Nancy Norbeck [00:30:50]:
Yeah. Go go to the museum, go for a walk, you know, look at somebody’s art, listen to music, whatever it is that that sounds like the right thing at that moment.

Emily T. [00:31:04]:
Mhmm. Yeah. No. That’s that’s really exactly on point.

Nancy Norbeck [00:31:08]:
Good.

Emily T. [00:31:12]:
Is there Wow.

Nancy Norbeck [00:31:14]:
Anything else that we might have missed?

Emily T. [00:31:17]:
Let me look at my list. Wow. You answered most of these questions I wrote down.

Nancy Norbeck [00:31:28]:
I think probably

Emily T. [00:31:29]:
Yeah. You know what? Answered them. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I wrote down 5 things I wanted to figure out, and I think without me even telling you these 5 things, you seem to have almost hit them all.

Nancy Norbeck [00:31:42]:
Good.

Emily T. [00:31:43]:
Wow. Yeah. Wow. Thank you.

Nancy Norbeck [00:31:46]:
You’re welcome.

Emily T. [00:31:47]:
That’s awesome.

Nancy Norbeck [00:31:48]:
Let me know how it goes.

Emily T. [00:31:51]:
Okay. I will. I will.

Nancy Norbeck [00:31:53]:
I’m I’m rooting for you.

Emily T. [00:31:54]:
Yeah. No. This was incredibly helpful. Good. This was really, really awesome.

Nancy Norbeck [00:31:57]:
Good. I hope you enjoyed listening in on today’s call. If you’d like some help with the creative dilemma you’re facing, I’d love to talk to you. Leave a comment on Instagram @fycuriosity or email me at [email protected], and I will be in touch. Thanks. You can find show notes and learn more about how you can work with me to follow your curiosity at fycuriosity.com. I’d also love for you to join the conversation on Instagram. You’ll find me @fycuriosity.

Nancy Norbeck [00:32:29]:
Follow Your Curiosity is produced by me, Nancy Norbeck, with music by Joseph McDade. If you like follow your curiosity, please subscribe, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. And don’t forget to tell your friends. It really helps me reach new listeners. See you next time.